Chapter 16- I Turn To You

Playlist:I Turn To You-Christina Aguilera, Address In The Stars- Caitlyn & Will, There You Are-Martina McBride, Time With You-Billy Currington

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Chapter 16- I Turn To You

When I'm lost in the rain, In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way

When I'm scared of losing ground, When my world is going crazy, You can turn it all around

And when I'm down, You're there pushing me to the top, Your always there giving me everything you've got

For a Shield from the storm, For a friend, For a Love to keep me safe and warm

I turn to you

For the strength to be strong, For the will to carry on, For everything you do, For everything that's true

I turn to you

When I lose the will to win, I just reach for you, And I can reach the stars again

I can do, anything, Because your love is so amazing, Because your love inspires me

And when I need a friend, You're always on my side, Giving me faith taking me through the night

For a Shield from the storm, For a friend, For a Love to keep me safe and warm

I turn to you

For the strength to be strong, For the will to carry on, For everything you do, For everything you do

I turn to you

For the arms that are my shelter through the rain, For truth that will never change, For someone to lean on

For a heart I can rely on through anything, For the one I can run to

For a Shield from the storm, For a friend, For a Love to keep me safe and warm

I turn to you

For the strength to be strong, For the will to carry on, For everything you do, For everything you do

For everything that's true, I turn to you

Christina Aguilera- I Turn To You

Bella's POV

We both laid on the bed completely satisfied and relaxed. Edward grabbed my hand and tried to use it to pull me close to him, at least so that we were facing the same direction, but I resisted.

"Edward, I have a meeting with the lawyer tomorrow morning at ten." My voice sounded distant and scared.

I could feel him move to my side, brushing my hair off of my face. The pain was scorching my eyes and I was tearing up.

"It makes is so final, you know? Just having my name on everything feels wrong. It's his, not mine. I'm not supposed to have any of this. He was too young to die," the words rushed out before my sobs took over.

"Baby, I know it's going to be hard. But Charlie was a proud man and all he ever wanted was to make sure you were taken care of. I'm sure he worried a lot over what would happen to you if something like this did happen. I'm also just as sure that he is as proud as he can be to know that he left you, at least financially, taken care of. Don't be saddened by this, rest assured that he loved you and wanted this for you. I know he would be happy with where you are and how your life has turned out. Charlie was a good man. I miss him." He leaned away to look at me, probably checking to make sure I was okay. I still had unshed tears in my eyes but at least I had stopped sobbing.

"You know I would sneak over and talk to him at the station every so often, when I had problems. He had such an unusual way of looking at things, it was nice to hear what he thought about things. Between him and Carlisle, I had the best advice a guy could ask for." Edward shrugged as I lifted my body away from his.

"Really, you went to Charlie for advice? I never knew that." I was amazed.

"Sure, sometimes just to talk and hang out. I don't know… he was always easy to talk to, he never rushed you or forced you to tell him what was going on. He allowed you to spill it when you were ready; I liked that about him. You do that too, you know? You never push, you wait for the other person to bring it out, then you wait as they talk about it. That's a great trait to get from him, it was my favorite thing about him." He leaned down and kissed my head. I smiled against his chest contemplating his words. I was proud that Edward could find similar traits in both us; like father, like daughter.

"Let's get some sleep, Edward, okay?"

"Sure baby, whatever you want." We pulled the covers up around our naked bodies and I wrapped my arms around Edward.

When the alarm rang on my phone, I knew it was time to wake Edward. Dread filled my body. I felt a hundred years old, unable to move freely. I had spent the last few hours out on the balcony. Before I could leave my seat, I heard Edward wandering through the suite, probably looking for me. I saw him as he stepped through the door of the balcony in a robe that matched mine, though I was also covered in a blanket from the couch. I had been out here a while and I was cold.

The wind had whipped at my hair and it was falling loose from its bun, I could feel the short pieces around my face stinging where they hit my skin. I guess I was a little wind burned as well. I could feel Edward's eyes searching mine as he sat down. I refused to meet his glances, his glances as I was too afraid of what my eyes would reveal to him. The worry, fear, and gut wrenching anguish. I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, a sure sign that I was worried. Edward would certainly pick up on it. I saw him shift his weight from one foot to the other, contemplating what to say to help. I attempted to smile at him and reassure him. I'm not sure that it worked, because he moved to the end of the lounge chair and sat down.

"Bella, are you okay?" He asked, his hand rubbing small soothing circles on my thigh.

"I was thinking about what you said last night and about Charlie. I do think he would be proud of me, and I think he would be happy that we're together. I won't enjoy the lawyer visit but I do feel better about it, thanks Edward."

We both dressed as quickly as possible. I was afraid that if I took my time, I would want to pull Edward back in bed and stay there all day. I had an appointment, so we needed to get going. But I was willing to use any excuse to get me back in that bed with Edward. Not out on the streets in Seattle.

Edward was dressed in jeans, t shirt, and a blue button down with some sneakers. I came out of the bathroom with a pair of sexy jeans that fit like a glove and a tight long sleeved white t shirt. You could see the details of my bra and I'm sure I saw the dark skin of my nipple in the bathroom mirror. I knew Edward would freak out over this shirt, so I walked out into the main room just for fun.

"Bella, you look beautiful, but are you wearing something over that?" He was trying hard to not sound like a jerk but I knew that he was feeling like a big old caveman right now. He felt the need to protect his woman, and drape her in as many layers as possible.

"Oh, yeah. I left my sweater on the bathroom counter, will you get it for me while I find my shoes," I asked coyly.

Edward brought my sweater to me and I lifted my arms to slip it on. I expected the fun of goading Edward to last a little longer, but the pain slipped right back into my brain. I sighed as he slipped the sweater down over my hips for me.

"Bella, are you okay? Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No, I'm good. I just need to get this over with and stop making it bigger in my mind than it is. I know this signature doesn't change anything. I have already been taking care of these things for the last few years, but in my mind it is different. Final. Complete. I don't know how to cope with that." I shrugged in admission. The words made sense in my mind, but somehow there was a brick wall between there and my heart. None of the words were getting through and my heart still felt pain.

"Bella, we all have things we struggle with. This is a big thing to cope with. There is no need to be ashamed of the fact that you need help with this. Maybe you could see someone back in Forks, let them help you learn how to cope."

I chuckled at him. "Now you're the poster boy for therapy?"

"Well, it has helped me, so don't laugh!" He picked me up and my feet left the ground, he rushed me to the bed and started to tickle me. I tossed my head back and laughed at his playfulness, anything to get my mind off of the task ahead. I finally yelled 'Uncle' so I could finish getting ready.

We spoke to the concierge before we left and confirmed the directions to the lawyer's office. It was fairly close, so we decided to walk. Edward took my hand and we talked about so many trivial things on the way. On any normal day this would have been a great conversation, but today it was just filler, fluff to keep our minds busy. I tried to prepare myself for how I would react to the visit, but I couldn't form an idea that was helpful.

"Bella, tell me how to help you today. I've been trying for the last twenty minutes to form a plan, and I can't really plan when I don't know what you'll need. I want to be here for you, but you have to let me know what you want."

I stopped walking and turned to look at him.

"Oh, Edward, that's so sweet. I just want you to stay with me. I'll try to remember to ask you for what I need, but if I forget, please, just do what feels right. Okay?" I nodded at him.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. He gave me a small smile as he opened the door for me to enter the office and squeezed my hand in reassurance. I gave my name to the receptionist and took a seat to wait.

Edward sat patiently with me in the waiting area. My mind was still overwhelmed at his offer to help earlier. I could only think of one person that I would want with me to go through this, and it was Edward. I knew that he would know exactly what to do to help, he always did. I remembered the time that Emmett hit me in the face with a football and knocked out my front tooth. The day before school pictures! I cried for hours. Edward came over and brought me an orange Popsicle. He sat with me and we ate popsicles on my front steps until I felt better. The next morning Emmett showed up to school with one front tooth missing, he wouldn't say what happened, but I knew Edward had something to do with it. He was my protector even way back then.

I drifted out of my memory as the door opened and someone called my name.

"Bella?"

I stood to greet him.

"Hi, I'm Bella. This is Edward Masen, my boyfriend. Thanks for seeing me today," I said as I shook his hand. He turned and shook Edward's as well.

"I'm Davis Livingstone. I'm sorry that Daniel couldn't meet with you today, he's out of town. But he called me last night and we only have a few things to do today, so he felt like it would be better for you if we went ahead without him. Is that okay?" I nodded at Davis. He turned to walk away and we followed him down the hall and to his spacious office. It smelled like a library in his office and I loved it right away. The wonderful old scent made me feel at home. He motioned to the two chairs on the opposite side of the desk as his and we sat down.

"Bella, you already know most of the in's and out's of Charlie's estate. Up until your 25th birthday all of the holdings have been held in trust for you. You were sent a check each month for the interest that the estate was garnering. Now that you are over twenty five you are in charge of all of the holdings. I simply need to have you sign several forms releasing us as guardian of the trust and it's yours. Now, first you have Charlie's trust. Between what he saved, his pension, and the settlement amount from the law suit that trust is a little over two million. If you will sign right here, please." He pointed at the space for my signature, and I signed where he indicated.

"This form indicates that you have reviewed the statements and agree that we have not mishandled the funds nor stolen any funds from you, then we'll be done with Charlie's trust, and we can move on." I signed the form, but gave him a look of confusion. I wasn't aware of any other trusts that we needed to handle.

Davis must have noticed my look of confusion because he pulled out more paperwork and began explaining. "Bella, Charlie was over seeing a trust for you from his parents. He had full access to it, but never took any of the interest. He choose to reinvest all of the money it made, so that trust is almost three and a half million dollars. Charlie was a one of a kind, all the years I knew him, never did he mention the money. He never cared how much, he simply signed the forms and asked us to reinvest everything for you. He loved you Bella, his whole goal was to provide for you. Please sign here and then we have a personal matter to discuss." He indicated on the paperwork and I again signed my name.

"I don't understand, I never had any idea that he left that much. He never talked about it, are you sure that you have the right info for Bella Swan, Isabella Swan?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Yes, Bella, I have the right info. I know you have talked with Daniel after your father passed away, but Charlie always came to me. I knew him for over 15 years, he came in to see me for the first time after his parents died. He asked me to help him with the trust for you and we saw each other at least four times per year after that, usually more. I have a cabin on the lake; he would sometimes go up and fish with me. You are well taken care of by your father's careful management of your money. If you are careful that will last you a lifetime, I would encourage you to allow someone you trust to oversee the money and continue to invest it. I can recommend several names for you, if you would like." He smiled gently at me while he flipped through his rolodex.

"No, I don't want any names, if Charlie trusted you then I want your firm to continue to manage it. Can I just simply leave it all and later if I need some come back?" I didn't want to use Charlie's or my grandparent's money for silly stuff. I could buy my own groceries and cars.

"Of course, Bella, if you would like to leave it here, we would be more than happy to help you. I would consider it an honor to help you. I know Charlie would be happy with your decision. He did request that you pay off college or continue in school if you would like. So you let me know what your needs are and I will take care of them. I will have the paperwork drawn up for our new arrangements and mail them to you in Forks. You will need to sign them, have them notarized and send them back to me. It is all really simple. Now, if you don't have any more questions, I have the personal matter to attend to with you." Davis glanced from me to Edward, and I nodded at him to continue. "Bella, like I said I was more than a lawyer for your father, I was his friend. And as his friend he left several things with me that he wanted you to have if something like this should happen to him. If he lived a full long life then I was to discard them. Unfortunately I'm not in the position to do that because he is gone, I have to give these to you. He wrote you some letters Bella, this one is to be first. Several milestones have passed already, but I have left those letters in anyway. I thought you would like to read them even though they no longer applied." Davis handed me a small envelope, Charlie's handwriting neatly spelling out my name on the front. I ripped it open and pulled out the letter. I turned to look at Edward, he had moved his chair closer to me during Mr. Livingstone's speech. Edward offered a small smile as I turned back to the letter.

Dear Bella,

This seems kind of silly as I sit here in the dining room writing this letter. But here goes anyway.

Years ago, Renee and I were watching a movie on TV and the guy in the movie knew he was dying. He started writing letters to everyone he loved to tell them all the things he wanted them to know after he was gone. Renee thought that was such a sweet, romantic gesture. She went on about it for months. I thought it was a load of crap at the time, but now since you have come back into my life, I think I like the idea of you reading these letters.

I hope you are okay with this, I know you are reading this after I'm gone. I hope that my leaving you wasn't hard on you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for the important events in your life. Please know that you were the most important thing in my life, always, from the day you were born.

There was never a day that went by that I didn't think about you and wish that things had been different between your mother and I. Please don't blame your mom, she did what she had to do. I'm happy that she moved on and found what she was looking for. I do wish that I would have spent more time looking for love. I think I would feel better about leaving you if I left someone else for you to be with. That is my one regret in life is not finding love again. Please promise me that you'll find someone that makes you happy and spend your life with them. I want the fairy tale for you, Bella. I want you to know love every day of your life, promise me you will try to find it. I know you have your friends and I appreciate the Cullens for taking care of you, at least I'm sure they will after I'm gone.

Please tell Alice that she is the closest thing to a second daughter that I have and I love her. I want her to know how important she was to me, and how much I appreciate her friendship with you.

I have taken care of you financially. It is your money, use it however you want. You have enough money Bella. Go to school, travel, do whatever you want to do. Just enjoy your life.

I have several more letters for you. For the important things that I missed, so off and on you will get a letter from me. I love you more than you will ever know. Enjoy your life Bella, live it to the fullest.

Love,

Dad

Edward slid me off of my chair and onto his lap. I was sobbing at the tender sweet words that Charlie left for me. It was exactly what I needed. I always felt like he was taken from me so suddenly that we never got to say goodbye. And in his own way he was saying his goodbye to me. He never mentioned the movie title but I will always be thankful for that silly movie that helped encourage him to write me these letters. I was proud of Charlie, not only for the dedication to his thankless job, but also for always putting other before himself. He was the perfect father and I now understood that.

I don't know how long Edward held me while I calmed down, murmured things to me as I allowed my brain to slow down and take the thoughts in at a slower pace. Mr. Livingstone had left us alone somewhere after Edward pulled me onto his lap.

I nodded to Edward and we stood to leave the office.

As we entered the hallway that led us out we were greeted by Mr. Livingstone, again. He took my hand in his and held it while he talked.

"Bella, thank you for staying with us, I feel like this is a continuation of my friendship with Charlie. I'm helping him look after what was most important in his life. I'll be in touch about the trust funds and if you need any help before, financial or otherwise please call me. This card has my home numbers as well on it. I'll call you soon, when we have all of the paperwork in order. Take care, Bella, this was my pleasure." He kissed my hand and turned to walk back towards his office.

I took Edward's hand and we walked out of the office into the bright sunlight. We walked for what seemed like a long time, I was lost in thought so time was lost to me. I was still processing the amount of money that Charlie left me and his beautiful letter. I felt at peace with the afternoon, knowing that Charlie would not want me feeling anything other than happy. I turned to Edward.

"You know the hardest part of today?"

"Tell me, baby."

"Not being able to tell Charlie about you. Seeing his words begging me to find love and happiness, and the whole time I wanted to shout that I had found it. I know he would be happy to know we were together. I'm sure of it."

Edward pulled me to his side and held me close as we walked.

"It'll be hard for me to not be able to ask his permission when it's time to ask you to marry me. You're right he would be proud of us and who we are now. Speaking of who you are now, are you going back to school now that financially that is possible for you?" Edward asked.

"Maybe eventually, but for now, I think I'll work and see how that turns out. I don't think I'm ready for four more years of school just yet. But it's nice to know that I have that option now."

"What will you do with the money?"

"Charlie always complained about the terrible equipment that cops had. They either bought their own or were given only what the budget could afford. So I think I'll talk with Mr. Livingstone about setting up a foundation that helps Police Departments raise the money for the equipment that they need. I think Charlie would like that."

"He would definitely like that, good idea."

I felt at peace, and happy for the visit. It's funny how something looks so dreadful going into it and looks like a blessing in disguise after walking away from it. I was ready to take Charlie's advice and start living my life to the fullest.

Edward took my hand in his and we spent the next several hours visiting some of the touristy places in Seattle.