Chapter 3- Walk On

Playlist:Walk On-Billy Currington, Some People-LeAnn Rimes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're a modern day miracle

Anything but a typical girl

Mona Lisa on a sidewalk stand

Superstar in a common man world

Nothing's been so beautiful

Wanna stop and ask your name

Take a picture of your pretty face

Shot to heaven, steal a kiss

Leave the world at your throne

I want to beg you to be mine for the rest of both our lives

But instead I catch my breath, shake my head, and I walk on

I know I've seen you somewhere before

In my mind behind door number 3

You're a prayer you're a gift from God

But there's a bridge I cannot cross

It seems your distant dream

I will never hold you

Billy Currington- Walk On

Chapter 3-Walk On

Edward's POV

I was taken aback that Bella was ready to apologize for last night. Now what exactly did that mean? Did it mean that she was drunk and didn't remember it? Or does it mean that she didn't like it at all? I am not a man-whore, but I am pretty sure that I know an orgasm when I see, and hear one. So what does the apology mean?

Maybe I could ask Jasper. He might be able to answer in a reasonable fashion, with decent advice. I had to do it when Emmett wasn't around, he'd just mess up everything and probably end up telling Rose, who would tell Alice, who would then tell Bella, and I didn't want that shit at all. I needed advice, but I didn't want Bella to know that I needed advice.

I mean, I'm not even sure what I feel for her. I am pretty sure I am not ready to be her boyfriend, but do I just want a random hook up? Bella is a great woman and she definitely deserves better. Do I have my shit together enough to be more than a random hook up? Can I be a decent man for her? No, on second thought, I needed to avoid Bella. I am in no shape to be in a relationship with her. I already knew she didn't want just anything, she wanted forever. I can't give her that, so I won't give her anything. Fuck, how did I get here? Why can't I go back and change a few things, and make it all end differently?

I hate Tanya for the mind fuck she did on me. How can a person get so close to having everything and then not allow love to pull them out of the fire? I hate Tanya the most for that, for not loving me enough to walk away from her fucked up life. She didn't fight for us.

"Dude, are you on this planet? Grab the last bag and carry in the groceries." Jasper questioned as he clapped me on the back. I realized that Bella and Alice were staring at me, so I just shrugged it off.

"Sorry, I have a few details that I need to finalize for my residency. You know how I am about leaving things undone. I promise no more school thoughts, only fun today." I hoped they bought my explanation and wouldn't question me any further.

I watched as Bella unloaded the groceries and talked with Alice. She was so beautiful when she was with Alice, she let all of her walls down, and she was just Bella, beautiful Bella. She was untouched by any of life's ugliness and hardships. I never want her to see or feel any of life's ugly parts; maybe if I stay away from her, she will remain beautiful Bella.

Jasper walked by and slapped a beer into my chest as he motioned for me to follow him. I left Bella and Alice in the kitchen, Bella cooking and Alice talking. Jasper led me outside and stood by the fire pit. He drank a few sips of his beer then sat it down. I could tell by the way that he crossed his arms over his chest that he wanted to talk. Jasper rarely offers his opinion without being asked, but when he does, it is because he feels strongly about the subject. So I waited, I, at least, owed him the courtesy of listening.

"So you and Bella, last night, umm…care to explain?"

"Not much to explain," I said, hoping he would take that answer but knowing that he wouldn't. Jasper wasn't that easy.

"Your hand up her skirt is certainly something to explain," he responded, a little too emphatically for this to be a casual conversation.

"Yeah, we talked about that this morning. We both were a little drunk, and damn, did you see her last night? She was amazing looking. When did little Bella grow up?" I smirked and raised my beer to my lips again.

"Look, I know neither of you drink very much, so I will give you that one. But man, she is Bella. She is almost like our sister, so don't dick around here. If you got something going, then fine, but don't hurt her. Alice and Rose will kill you, and you will cause damage to the whole family that may not be able to be repaired. Cool?" He took a long drink on his beer.

"Yeah, we have already decided that we shouldn't," I paused, unsure of what to say to Jasper. I couldn't reveal how much thought I had put into what was going on between Bella and I. Jasper would see right through that and know that I had contemplated something more, so I simply finished with, "so, are we good?"

"Yeah we're good, just do the right thing."

He sat back and took a few drinks of his beer. We both sat in silence, and I tried to figure out how wrong it would be if I did start something with Bella. I knew her well enough to know that she didn't have any freaky tics I couldn't live with and she was certainly easy on the eyes. So what was stopping me? I would need to proceed with caution, but maybe it could work. Maybe enough time had passed after Tanya that I could be ready for a relationship. But what if it wasn't okay? What if I wasn't okay? My mind was reeling with the possibilities. Jasper was right. I would cause too many problems that I couldn't fix. Was I willing to give up my family for a woman? I wasn't sure I was. I realized that I wasn't going to find an answer and let the subject drop.

I heard a squeal from the kitchen and turned to see Bella running out the back door. I jumped up and ran towards her, trying to assess what was wrong and what I needed to do. I saw Emmett emerge behind Bella. He was laughing so hard he could hardly stand upright. I knew Bella had fallen victim to Emmett's juvenile sense of humor once again. She always was his favorite target. Just then, she pulled her shirt up and pulled several cubes of ice out of her bra. I almost choked; there was Bella, standing in Alice and Jasper's backyard, almost undressed from the waist up. I was wrong, she was more than beautiful. She was breathtaking.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, so help me, I will chop off the protruding parts of your body if you pull that stunt again!" Bella's face was puffed out in an angry grimace directed at Emmett, which of course he found much more amusing.

"Silly Bella, you need to catch me, and you can't run more than five steps without falling down, so I am in the clear." He stuck his tongue out at her like we were in kindergarten.

She walked by him, and threw a punch at his stomach, flinched when her punch landed. I could have told her that physical violence wasn't the way to retaliate with Emmett. He was built of solid steel, and very rarely felt pain, unless you used a baseball bat. Bella would need to plan a mental attack as he could never compete with that. Later when I had the time, I would help her plan something to get even with him. That would serve him right for all the years of torture I had to endure at his hands.

I finished my beer with Jasper and Emmett. I headed back into the kitchen to grab us all another beer and check on Bella.

When I entered the back door quietly, Bella whipped around brandishing a wooden spoon. She relaxed when she saw it was me.

"Sorry, Edward. I thought you were Emmett."

"I know. I expected you to still be on guard. Later we will devise a plan to get him back. You have to think mental, Bella, not physical with Emmett. He can't fight the mental attack that is his weakness."

With that comment, she smiled the most devious smile I have ever seen. She had a streak of evil buried deep within her, and that smile gave her secret away. I made a mental note not to piss off Bella Swan.

Eventually we all ended up in the backyard. It was so rare to have a sunny day in Forks, we all just wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. All too soon, Esme called to tell us to get a move on, so we discussed who would drive with whom.

"Bella and I need to ride with someone so I can drive my Volvo back from Carlisle and Esme's house," I suggested.

Rosalie turned towards me and offered, "If you ride with Emmett and me, you can drive the Volvo home. I will pick up my BMW on the way home." She dismissed our conversation as she turned to question Bella, "What are you going to do for a ride? Surely you aren't still driving that truck?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I am. There is nothing wrong with my truck, so I will drive it until it dies," Bella crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her chin out. I knew she hated it when anyone made fun of her truck.

"Well if that is all you are waiting on, let me at it. It certainly won't run when I am finished with it," Rosalie smirked at the thought of demolishing Bella's truck; she has never liked that truck. To Rosalie, a real car had sleek lines and could go from zero to sixty in under five seconds. Bella's truck wouldn't do zero to sixty at all, so Rosalie considered it unworthy of driving.

Bella snorted at Rosalie. "Well, as a matter of fact, you will be happy to know that I had plans to buy a new car. Actually, sooner now that I can share rent with all of you, so there. I need something better on gas, and who wants to show up at a 'real job' driving that?"

"Exactly. After all these years, you finally see the light!" Rosalie was ecstatic at this news.

Rosalie loved to shop for cars as much as Alice loved to shop for clothes, so I could see some scouting trips on the horizon for Bella and Rosalie. She would love to have a say in what car Bella purchased.

"Hey Rosalie, you want to go out with me next weekend and do some looking?" Bella asked. I couldn't believe that she just opened the door, and Rosalie jumped through it with both feet. Rosalie was certainly going to keel over dead with happiness. I was sure of it. Her whole face broke into the biggest smile, I think, I have ever seen her wear.

Jasper interrupted and again recommended that we get a move on, so off to the cars we went. I helped Bella into the back of Emmett's jeep and then handed her the salad and pie she made. After I climbed in, Emmett jammed the jeep into reverse, and we were off.

It was hard to talk to Bella. Emmett had the music up so loud and the top was off the jeep, so I just settled for watching the scenery. Not much ever changed in Forks, but I could see small changes here and there since I had been gone. I liked that Forks was the same, it made me feel like I could come back home and be the same again as well.

We arrived at Carlisle and Esme's without incident, which wasn't always a given with Emmett driving. I loved my brother, but he could be swayed to do anything at any time. I was thankful that his desire to get to Esme's cooking kept him from trying any stunts in the jeep. He was always hungry.

Carlisle was starting the grill when we got there, and Esme had a table full of food for us. We decided that if we ate on the patio, we could swim for a while before we ate, so we all slipped inside to change into our suits. For Jasper, Emmett, and me, it was a quick process, and we were right back out into the pool. The water felt great, and I was enjoying being with my family.

"Holy Mother of Mary and Joseph!" Emmett whispered with a look of utter shock on his face.

Jasper and I turned to see what he was looking at., and that's when I saw her. She had on a small bikini that she filled perfectly. Teenage Bella was long gone, and she had turned into full grown Bella. I even saw Carlisle smile and look away after a few seconds. He had some powerful restraint because there was no way I was ever going to look at anything or anyone ever again. She was perfection. Long legs, full hips and the most perfect set of breasts I have ever seen.

"Dude, close your mouth. She will never come back out here if she catches you looking at her like that, you know how self-conscious Bella is," Jasper whispered to me.

Emmett piped in, "I had no idea she was so grown up. When did that happen? And how the hell did she get so hot?"

Jasper and I both shouted, "Emmett!" at the same time. Sometimes I swear that boy had no filter on his brain; he said anything at any time.

Alice and Rosalie had both joined Bella by this time and they were all sitting on the side of the pool. I couldn't have that; I needed Bella closer to me. I wanted to touch and hold her. I wasn't sure that was going to happen with all of these witnesses and without any alcohol, but I had to find a way somehow. A plan began to formulate in my head, so I began taunting Emmett into a chicken fight. He couldn't resist a challenge and that way I would be able to be close to Bella.

Sure enough my idea worked. Next thing I know Bella is resting on my shoulders and we are chicken fighting with Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie pushed Bella off in under a minute, so I suggested best two out of three. Emmett, being the over grown child that he is, once again, accepted. I was in heaven. All I could think of was how much longer I would get to hold Bella close to me. I held on to her so tightly, but we lost to Rosalie and Emmet both times. We went to the side of the pool and let Alice and Jasper have their turn.

"Sorry I am so wimpy. We may have stood a chance if I were a little stronger." She was pouting.

"Well, Bella, don't worry. You know Rosalie is almost as strong as Emmett. She has to be to keep him in line. I am not even sure I could have taken her down, so no big deal," I reasoned with her.

"Well, you sure look strong enough; did you work out while you were away?" She lightly pushed on my shoulder, and I feigned pain for her.

"Why, Bella Swan, are you flirting with me?" I cocked an eyebrow at her and she blushed.

"Well, I just call them as I see them, and I call you built." She looked away as a small blush swept across her cheeks.

"Well, thank you. I call you beautiful." She blushed again.

"Bella, why do you look away from me? Why do you act like that is the first time you have heard this? Jacob was a sorry jerk if he never told you that before." I was suddenly angry with Jacob for not telling Bella that she was beautiful often enough.

"Well, I mean look at all of you. You all are so beautiful and have so many things going for you. I just pale in comparison, that's all," she bit her lip in nervousness again. For the life of me, all the reasons why I shouldn't take Bella right here in this pool, in front of my family, went right out of my head.

"Bella, I dare you to tell me one thing each of us has that you don't. Why are you so sure that you are not deserving of things? Everyone complains that you never like to take a compliment or gifts; what's up with that?"

"I just feel like it makes our friendship so lop-sided. I already owe all of you so much and then to add those things on top of that, I will never be able to pay you back."

"Bella, we can't even count the times you have been there for us. You repay us in the same way we pay you, with friendship and loyalty. You are on the same playing field as the rest of us. You are certainly beautiful! I can't think of a person right now that can hold a candle to you in that bathing suit. I mean it; you took my breath away when you came out here."

That's great Cullen; just tell her exactly how you feel.

"Thanks Edward, that was sweet." She looked up at me through her lashes, and I almost pulled her in for a kiss. I reached for her, pushing her shoulder to disguise my actions. She laughed, and we joined the others in the middle of the pool.

We sat down to eat and I made sure that I sat by Bella. I almost giggled like a schoolgirl when she brushed my hand as she passed me the salad. I needed to keep it in check; I couldn't let Emmett, Rosalie or, heaven forbid, Alice get wind of what I was feeling for Bella. I was already afraid that Jasper would tell Alice about our little talk earlier.

We finished our lunch without any incidents, and with our family that wasn't something you took for granted. You never knew what would happen at our house, especially with Emmett around.

We all helped clear the table to make room for Bella's pie. I carried a few plates into the kitchen, and as I turned away from the sink, I was face to face with Bella. She startled and almost dropped the glasses she was carrying. I grabbed her arm and steadied her. When I looked down, she was looking up at me, and we both stood there staring at each other. My mouth was hanging open, and I'm certain that I looked like I had just had a stroke. I was learning that I couldn't control myself when Bella was close to me, or hell, when she was even in the same city as me. She smiled up at me and then bit her lower lip between her teeth. I reached out my hand and gently pulled her lip out from between her teeth. I traced her jawline to her ear tucking the hair that had fallen in her face behind it. She smiled again at me and I knew I could get used to that. I wanted to be the reason for all of her smiles.

Just as I was about to move in to kiss her, Alice came busting into the kitchen looking for Bella and her pie.

"Bella, move your ass. Emmett is as bitchy as a grizzly bear. You'd better bring on the pie before Carlisle has to shoot him. What's taking you so long?"Alice stood, glaring at both of us.

Bella and I moved apart as she put the glasses in the dishwasher. I chanced a look at Alice, and she cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Bella had a bug in her hair, and you know how she gets when she sees a bug. Just like a girl." I grabbed the pie and headed out the back door. Bella and Alice raced after me, and we ran around the table like school kids.

Emmett grabbed the pie and saved it from falling when Alice and Bella tackled me. They each took a side and tickled me until I cried, "Uncle! Uncle, I swear, Uncle!"

We all settled down in front of the fire pit and ate our piece of pie. Each couple snuggled up together to stay warm. Being that Bella and I were the only odd men out so to speak, we snuggled with each other. She felt so warm and soft, and she fit against me in all the right places.

The next thing I knew, Carlisle was shaking my shoulder. Bella and I had fallen asleep in the lawn chair by the fire.

"Son, do you and Bella want to stay here for the night? It is a long drive back to your house. Esme would love for you two to stay. You and I can go for a run together tomorrow morning."

"Give me a minute, and I'll ask Bella. I'll let you know." He walked off and left us alone; I assumed that Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett had already left for home.

"Bella, Bella, wake up. We fell asleep. Carlisle wants to know if we want to stay here instead of driving home. What do you want to do? I can drive you home if you want. It doesn't matter to me." I lifted her off the chair and held her close to me. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"I think staying here is okay, that way we can get back to bed; I mean each get back to our own beds. I didn't mean get back in bed together; I know you wouldn't want to get in bed with me." Her eyes widened with shock at what she was saying.

"Bella, it's okay, calm down. We can stay and sleep in our own beds. Unless, of course, you want me to stay with you because if you do, I will," I answered honestly. I would do anything Bella asked of me.

"No, don't be silly. We can't stay together in Carlisle and Esme's house. I'll be fine. I just liked snuggling up with you. Thanks for keeping me warm. Let's head in and get to bed," she pushed up off the lawn chair and turned to sit on the side. The cold air swept down the side of my body. It was shocking and cruel.

"Ok." I stood and turned to help her stand up, and we walked into the house together as she held my hand.

We stopped to talk to Esme as she brought out extra blankets and pillows. Esme also brought Bella some pajamas. I left them in the hallway, walked to my room, closed the door, and stripped my shorts off. I suddenly felt restless without Bella close to me. The normal activities that settled me before bed didn't help at all tonight. I wanted to feel Bella's soft body next to me. After only a small nap with each other, I now couldn't sleep without her, I was in for a long night.

I had been tossing and turning for hours when I heard the door slip open. I sat up waiting to see who it was. My mouth fell open to see Bella walking into my room. She approached the bed, and then just stood there, her bottom lip held between her teeth.

"Bella are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked, my voice thick with desire, wanting to hear that she came to be with me.

thing, I just couldn't sleep. I thought I could stay with you for a few minutes until I felt tired again. Is that okay?" Her voice was full of hesitation and embarrassment.

"Sure, come on. You want the right or the left side?" I immediately flipped back the covers for her to crawl in.

"Can I have the left side?"

"Oh, sure take the side I have already warmed up," I said jokingly, "come on get in." I scooted over for her to have room to get in.

She climbed in and lay on her back. She looked over at me and smiled.

"Is it weird that we are here together? I mean will Carlisle and Esme freak out?"

"Nah, we are adults. Jasper and Alice, and Emmett and Rosalie have lived together for several years. I think they are past the shock by now. Are you freaked out by the fact that we are here together?" I wanted to hear her say no, that she always expected us to end up together, but I knew she was going to say yes.

"No, I feel safe with you. I like hanging out with you; I don't feel like I have to pretend to be anything with you, you know?" She always shocked me with her answers and honesty. I thought girls were taken aside in high school and taught never to reveal what they were thinking to boys no matter what. But here Bella was telling me the truth.

"I hope you know that we are who we are and that is all we can be. Besides like I said before, I like you Bella." I smiled at her in the dim moonlight that was shining across her face.

"Most guys want a Barbie, big boobs, small waist, very little clothes, and no brains. That's not me. I think that's why I was okay with staying with Jacob for so long even when I knew I wasn't really in love with him. I was afraid that if I left, I wouldn't find someone who really liked me and didn't want me to conform to their ideas of a perfect girl. I know that sounds like a cop out, but I'm scared. I really want the happily ever after, especially after watching my parents divorcing, I want that. I want what Carlisle and Esme have, and I'm afraid that I won't find it."

I turned to look at her, her words so thick with the emotion that she was trying to hold in. I saw her eyes glisten with the tears that hadn't fallen yet, and I couldn't help but pull her to me. I wanted to wipe all of those tears away and make her know that she deserved everything and someday someone would give it to her.

"Bella, you will have it all, I promise. You will get your happily ever after."

She pulled away slightly so she could look up at me. "Edward, don't you think about your life and want a wife and kids?"

"Sure, but that is years off for me. I have years of residency, and then if I decide to specialize, oh man don't make me tell you how long that will take. I figure with the long hours and no holidays off that no woman is going to put with that. So, I decided that I would wait until I was finished with school to try to focus on my personal life. Right now, I need to focus on school. I have worked so long for this I don't want to blow it, you know?" I hoped that the dream of becoming a doctor was worth it when I finally achieved it, and I didn't feel like I missed out on my life chasing that dream.

"Sure, but it sounds so lonely. Don't you want someone to come home to after those long shifts? If she is the right girl, she won't mind all the obstacles. Don't write her off before you find her. Give her a chance, just promise me that." She smiled gently at me, and I believed everything she said at that moment.

"I will keep an open mind. Now quit your yammering, so I can get some sleep," I teased.

We lay side by side with only our shoulders touching. When I knew she was deep asleep, I lowered my head down to hers and inhaled the wonderful scent that was Bella. She always smelled like home somehow, not strong or overpowering. Just a light scent that made you want to get closer to drink it in.

When I woke up, Bella had turned towards me and snuggled up to my left side. Her legs had tangled with mine, and she rested her hand on my chest. I had wrapped my arm around her shoulders and held her close. My other hand was possessively holding on to her hip. Sometime during the night, our bodies adopted the closeness that our minds wouldn't allow while we were awake.

I lay in bed just enjoying the feeling of Bella next to me, but suddenly she turned and began to crawl out of bed. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Hey, you spend the night in my bed, and now you are going to leave without even saying thank you, leaving some money or anything?" I smirked at the thought of Bella paying me for something I would gladly do for free.

She laughed at me and tried to smooth all of her hair down.

"Well, maybe I thought you didn't deserve my money, and no one wants to cause your head to swell with a lot of platitudes you don't deserve."

And with that, she walked away.

"Oh, game on, Swan, you will so pay for that," I murmured to myself.

I showered and met her and Esme down in the kitchen. Carlisle had been called away for an early shift at the hospital, so he was long gone. Esme made pancakes and I grabbed a few and sat at the table with them. Esme was reading the paper, and Bella was eating. I met Bella's eyes as she forked another bite. She giggled and so did I when we caught each other looking. Esme flipped down the corner of her paper and raised her eyebrow at us. We both sat up straight and ate in silence. Bella finished first and went to the sink. As she rinsed her plate, putting it in the dishwasher, she turned to me.

"I am ready to go whenever you are. I know we both still have unpacking to do, and I don't want to put it off. I will be in the library reading, so let me know when you are ready," she turned to leave the kitchen.

Esme stood up and took her coffee mug to the dishwasher as well.

"Bella, Rosalie was mentioning that you were thinking of getting another car. I have a proposition for you. I have an Audi that Carlisle bought for me, but with all of the stuff I carry around for work, I never drive it. I would be glad to sell it to you for a deal. I hate that it is just sitting in the garage, not being driven. Besides, Carlisle will be happy to know you have a reliable car. So talk to him about how much, I don't know about those things, but for now take it and drive it. Make sure you like it and then we will talk to him. Does that sound okay?" Esme gently prodded.

"Oh Esme, are you sure you want to get rid of it? What if you need it?" Bella asked.

"Bella, you know how Carlisle is. He buys a new car every six months. He sees something he likes, and he buys it. I have several in the garage that I can choose from if I need a car. I promise that I'll be fine. I doubt Carlisle will even miss it. I am serious; take it. I want you to. That way I won't worry about you getting back and forth to work. You don't want me to worry, do you?" Esme could lay it on thick when she needed. I smirked at her attempt to persuade Bella.

"Of course not. I will test drive it and come and talk to Carlisle in a few days. Thank you," Bella said, holding out her hand for the keys.

Esme led us out into the garage and showed Bella her car. It was a beautiful Audi A5 Convertible in Midnight Blue. Bella's mouth fell open. I didn't blame her; as much as I loved my Volvo, I was still partial to this Audi. Esme opened the door and Bella climbed in the driver's seat. She cranked the Audi and sat for a few minutes getting familiar with the location of everything, and then she pulled out of the garage first. I grabbed my cell as I got into the Volvo, I called her; I couldn't resist.

"Bella, I will race you home." I flipped my phone closed, slammed the Volvo into reverse and flew out of the garage. I stopped right in front of her in the Audi, turned to face her, and wiggled my eyebrows. Her face changed into a hard stare, and she nodded at me. I pushed the gearshift back up into first gear and speed off, Bella right on my bumper. I had to work hard, but I beat her home. If she hadn't caught that last light, I think I may have lost. Emmett would be proud I pulled out all of the stops to beat her.