Playlist: Because You Love Me (Live~Acoustic)-JoDee Messina, Livin' On A Prayer-Bon Jovi, You Save Me- Kenny Chesney, The Hard Way-Keith Urban, Everybody-Keith Urban, When You Say You Love Me-Josh Groban
I don't know how I survive in this cold and empty world for all this time
I only know that I'm alive because you love me
When I recall what I've been through there's something that I wish I didn't do
Now I do the things I do because you love me
And now that you're in my life, I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you've shown me the way and I know now how good it can be
Because you love me
And now that you're in my life, I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you've shown me the way and I know now how good it can be
Because you love me
I believe in things unseen, I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are because you love me
With all my heart and all my soul, I'm loving you and I never will let go
And every day I'll let it show because you love me
Because you love me, Because you love me
JoDee Messina-Because You Love Me
Bella's POV
I woke up to Edward's arms wrapped around my chest, holding me tightly against him, his head buried deep in my hair. The feeling of his body touching mine, from our shoulders all the way to our toes was bliss. I hadn't bothered to change out of my clothes when Edward took me in his arms and laid us down. There wasn't time to waste on something as simple as that; besides it would have meant pulling away from the feel of Edward's arms around me and that was something I just didn't want to think about yet. The jeans however, they were the most uncomfortable thing in the world to sleep in and I wanted to be rid of the restrictive burden they placed on my ability to move. I untangled my arms from around Edward very carefully, and slipped the button open on my jeans. Wiggling my legs and my hips, I slid the jeans down as far as I could reach with my hands and pushed and pulled with my feet until they were completely off. Then I kicked them off of the bed. Pressing myself back against his slumbering form, I could really feel the heat that Edward's body was giving off now that the barrier of my clothes were now gone. It felt delicious and I wanted to stay here forever.
No sooner than my body settled back against Edward's he let out a small chuckle. "Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted to get naked? Believe me; I would've been more than happily to comply with that request." His breath tickled across the sensitive skin on my neck, causing me to shiver against him.
Before I could even respond Alice burst through the door, then skidded to a sudden stop when she saw that we were awake.
"Hey, sorry. I thought you two would still be asleep." She suddenly looked very torn about her entrance.
"It's okay, you can come in. We're awake. What's got you running in here at break neck speed?" Edward chuckled as he sat up against the headboard.
"First, I bring a peace offering." She held up a plate of doughnut holes and held two mugs of coffee.
"Holy shit! Are these Rosalie's homemade doughnut holes?" Edward exclaimed. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. His eyes were huge and his hands smacking together with glee.
Alice handed Edward the plate as she nodded. Before I could even make out the movements he had two popped into his mouth and was moaning the most sinful sound on earth. Alice and I both laughed at his exuberance over some simple doughnut holes.
"Second," Alice stated as she stole a doughnut hole form the plate Edward held tightly in his grasp. Once she was done with it she continued, "Carlisle called and he wants everyone to come camping. He's calling a family meeting and you know how hard it is to get away from those." She shrugged. I glanced in Edward's direction to try and get a read on his thoughts about the family meeting. As my eyes met Edward's eyes a wave of concern flooded through me, when I saw a hint of the same emotion reflected in his. I hoped that this didn't have anything to do with me being back. He didn't mention it last night when we spoke but then again after I heard the full story I didn't give him much time to talk about anything else.
"Bella, Carlisle said for you to call him. He wants to talk to you before you come over." Alice stood, and then danced backwards to the door before pausing to ask, "Do you need me to pack for you?"
"Nah, I'm good. It's just a few days in the woods; I think I can pack that much by myself." I laughed, trying to beat down the nerves at the thought of speaking with Carlisle.
"Well then, get your asses moving! Jasper and Emmett left about a half an hour ago to help Carlisle pack up all the tents and equipment". Turning to direct her next statement at Edward, she said, They took your tent with them. I hope that was okay?"
He nodded, before saying, "Yeah, that's great. Should I head on over or wait for you guys to get ready?"
"Nah, you stay with us. We need a chaperon, who knows what kind of trouble we three can get into without you here!" She squealed as she danced out of the room.
I was in total shock. I assumed that Edward would be kicked out as soon as possible so that they could get details on how our talk had gone last night. I didn't know how to wrap my mind around this change, drastic change, in Alice. My mouth must have been hanging open because Edward pushed it closed with his finger as he slid out of bed. "Imagine that your whole life! Get a move on. You don't want her to come back in here for us. She can turn feral in a quick minute!"
Edward closed the bathroom door and I realized that our quite time was gone.
"Wait, Edward, why did Alice say that the guys had taken your tent with them?" I asked, as I made my way to the bathroom door.
Maybe quite time could continue tonight.
The door opened and a cloud of steam escaped into the bedroom. Once he saw me standing there through the shower glass of the shower door, he answered my question, "We always stay in different tents. Carlisle learned his lesson quite a few years ago. Emmett and Rosalie got into a huge fight and we all suffered because of it that trip. So, as soon as we hit town again, Carlisle rushed right to Newton's with us and we all purchased a separate tent to stay in from there on out. No more problems, we all come home happier!" His hand shot up and made a few passes through is hair, a clear sign that he was nervous, and after a few moments where he appeared to be deep in thought he continued on with his shower.
It was nice in a strange way to see him unsure of himself. For so long his unflappable confidence has caused more of my self-doubt to open up. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one to feel the uncertainty of certain situations.
Edward cleared his throat, as he stepped out of the shower and began to dry off. I hung my head and gazed at the floor in an effort to not stare at his glistening wet and naked body. When he spoke his voice was deeper, slightly shaky and maybe a little scared even. "Will you be staying in my tent with me? I mean you don't have to but I would like it if you did. I have an extra air mattress if you'd like. "
"Do you want me to stay with you?" I asked hesitantly. The scared little girl closed in on me, his reassurances last night helped but rejection was still a major fear of mine.
"Bella, I always want you with me. Never doubt that, ever. You are my life now." He moved closer to me and pulled me in against him as he wrapped his arms around me.
Relief swept through me to hear his assurance of his feelings. "Then I would love to stay with you." My joy masked by the fact that my face was squished against his bare chest.
"Okay then, let's get this show on the road." He said as he placed a quick kiss on my cheek and then left the door open to the bathroom as he walked past me back into the bedroom.
Clad in only his low hanging jeans, he went to brush his teeth. As he did, I grabbed my phone and called Carlisle while I had a few minutes of privacy. I wasn't sure what he would want to know and I didn't want to have to excuse myself to answer him.
Carlisle answered in mid-sentence to someone. "Don't pack that there, put the coolers on next then the chairs. Yes I'm sure I want it that way." I could hear shouting in the background, obviously Emmett. "Ugh, Emmett! Just do it that way I want. Please." Carlisle drew in a deep breath, and then responded to me. "Hey Bella. Sorry, sometimes he really is just a big overgrown eight year old." His chuckle belied the aggravation in his voice. "How are you today?"
"Better, much better. We didn't solve everything or even talk all that much but we know what we need to talk about now at least so that's progress. Right?" My thumb slipped up to my teeth and I found myself biting down on the sore spot I had taken to nervously biting over the last few weeks.
"That's definitely some progress. Hell, the two of you being in the same room is progress." Guilt over my leaving without an explanation certainly wasn't the emotion that Carlisle was trying to push onto me, I was sure of that. But that was the only emotion that would surface with his sentence. "Bella? What's done is done, don't allow the past to effect the future." My silence must have been telling him enough to know where my thoughts had drifted off to.
"I'm trying." My sad voice replied.
"I wanted to talk to you about camping. I really would like for you and Edward to go with us but I certainly understand if you don't want to. The whole family would in fact understand. So, I'm leaving it up to you both."
"I think it would be better for both of us if we came. I know it would be nice to be a part of the group again. The last few weeks of solitude have not been fun. The whole time I was gone, I just kept thinking about wanting to be back here with all of you. I'm not turning down the opportunity; it is exactly what I asked for. Besides, Edward has asked me to share his tent, how could I turn down such sweet accommodations?"
"If only Alice and Rosalie were so easy to please!" His full laugh was comforting to hear. "I'm glad, and I guess I'll see you in a little while then."
Edward came out of the bathroom, his jeans hanging even lower than when he had gone in and his warm scent wafting behind him. It caused my head to be fogged over by it, and any response to Carlisle went right out the window.
"Hey, is that Carlisle?" I could only nod at him. He reached for the phone and I passed it off to him, still staring at the stray drops of water that he missed when he dried off.
"I'm driving the girls over but I think I'll have a little room left over, do you need me to bring anything else?"
Carlisle's response resembled Charlie Brown's teacher when it filtered through the phone.
"Well then we'll be on our way shortly." Edward flipped the phone closed and dropped it on the bed. He grabbed a shirt that lay across the chair and began to pull it on. I watched as he pulled the tight knit shirt down over his abs and knew that I had better distract myself or else we might not be leaving the room, at all!
I pulled the bag that I brought with me from the airport and dumped it on the bed. My work clothes that I had packed would not work for the woods. I opened several drawers and pulled out some jeans and t-shirts.
"How long are we staying?" I asked, unsure of how much to pack. I knew I had at least a week before Charlotte was back in town but I didn't know about anyone else's schedule? I didn't hear Edward's response so I turned to look at him, but was stopped in my tracks by the sight of him bent over as he laced up his brown boots and tied them quickly.
"Don't know, Carlisle didn't say."
I opened the door to the bedroom and yelled for Alice. "How long are we staying Alice?"
"Two days!" Was her simple answer yelled from somewhere downstairs.
"Two days." I said to Edward. He nodded.
"Do you have a small duffle bag that I can put my stuff in? All I have are larger suitcases and I don't need anything that large for two days." I laughed lightly before I went on to say, "I'm sure Alice would beg to differ about that though."
"I have one, but you'll have to share it with me." I suddenly felt him standing behind me and his hand as it rubbed across my stomach as he flipped up the layers of the shirt I still wore from yesterday. Warm fingers seared my skin where his hand met my bare skin. Edward was slowly melting me into an unuseable mess. His gentle, carefully placed touches showed his willingness to mend our relationship. I just wasn't sure if that would happen before I spontaneously combusted!
"Sure, you go grab your stuff and I'll shower now." I needed distance.
I laid out enough for two days, a bathing suit and a book to read. I rushed through my shower and slid into my clothes. I needed the extra layer of protection between Edward and me.
Satisfied with my appearance, I gathered my basic toiletries and left the bathroom. Edward had placed all of my clothes into his bag so I put my overnight bag in on top. Edward dropped in his iPod and zipped it close.
"Ready?" He asked, his face showing his excitement.
"As I'll ever be." I took his outstretched hand and we left the room.
When we arrived at Carlisle and Esme's all we had to do was add our luggage to the back of the Suburban. Everything else was packed neatly on a trailer that would be towed behind.
The atmosphere in the car was uplifting; everyone seemed to be geared up for a fun weekend. Carlisle drove and Jasper was riding shotgun. All of us girls were piled into the back seat discussing all the places I had been while I was away. Even talking about the depressing time I spent alone couldn't diminish the joy radiating off of everyone. Alice lamented about all the wasted shopping opportunities, causing me to promise that the next time I would partake of my trip more wisely.
Emmett and Edward were discussing sports and the chances each team had to make it to their respective playoffs.
"Hey, I love this song, turn it up Jazz!" Emmett shouted as Jasper cranked up the radio. Some people just got better with age, and I'd have to say that Jon Bon Jovi is one of those people. The boys immediately went to full on air guitar mode while singing along. Even Carlisle was bobbing his head and joining in on singing, thankfully his hands stayed on the wheel. Eventually we all gave in and were singing Livin' on a Prayer at the top of our lungs.
Edward turned to me, grabbed my hand and mouthed the words to me.
We gotta hold on to what we got,
Doesn't make a difference if we make it or not,
We got each other and that's a lot for love.
We'll give it a shot!
We gotta hold on ready or not,
You live for the fight when that's all that you got.
Whoa, We're half way there,
Whoa, Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear
Whoa, Livin' on a prayer
Whoa, We're half way there,
Whoa, Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear
He squeezed my hand and somehow I knew that Jon was right, we were going to make it. Peace settled around my heart. In that moment I realized that I had been just going through the motions of the day up until now. With that realization, I felt everything else slip away and peace take over.
"Can we talk tonight?" I whispered to Edward.
"Sure, baby, anything you want." He replied giving my hand a light squeeze.
The Cullens were seasoned campers, so the campsite went up in no time. The boys played Rock, Paper, Scissors for the choice of where to put up all four tents. Edward won so we got the spot closest to the river, it was beautiful. Edward positioned the tent so that the large window on the side of the tent would look out over the river when we laid down to sleep. I opened the double sleeping bag and laid it out over the air mattress while Edward staked the tent down. When we were finished, we helped get lunch cooked. Emmett commanded the grill and made us some delicious hamburgers. Everything felt like home-safe, normal, and comfortable.
I tried several times to plan out what I wanted to say to Edward throughout the day, but I never came to a full decision. I knew that I wanted to be honest and not leave anything out but that was my only decision. Needless to say that when bedtime rolled around I was nervous.
Edward and I changed for bed and slid into the sleeping bag together. His next words to me that he must have sensed the dread that I was feeling about the conversation we were about to have.
"Bella, don't. It's just us; don't make this talk bigger than it is. Would it make you feel better and more comfortable if I start?" I nodded at him. I snuggled my back against his chest, and stared out the window to the river. I figured that it would be easier to admit some of these things if I didn't have to look at him.
"I'm sorry that I didn't call you and tell you that Tanya wanted to meet with me. I know it looks like I didn't trust you but that isn't the case at all. I really just didn't want to worry you. I was riding the high of finally being back with you in Forks and I didn't want to ruin it in anyway."
I took a deep breath and responded to his statement, "That would have made a tremendous difference in how I reacted. However, I can honestly say that if you had called me and told me I still would have been a nervous wreck all day thinking about it. So, I guess either way it was a no win situation. I do realize now that I should have given you the opportunity to explain before I just assumed. I'm sorry that I didn't. I was just too afraid that you would tell me that you were going back to Tanya. I couldn't see past my fear of losing you."
"Bella, do you not realize how much you mean to me? I could never go back to Tanya or anyone else for that matter, you are it for me. I love you more than words can adequately express. I can understand how it must have looked when you saw me with Tanya, but what I don't understand is where does this fear come from? Have I done something that has caused this? For you to feel insecure in our relationship and doubt my love for you? " He snuggled closer to me and wrapped his arms completely around my chest. I felt safe, which it made it easier to spill the beginning of my fear.
"It's not exactly something you did. It's more of how you have always been, how you've acted. I just watched you for years while I secretly loved you for all that time and had to watch you parade around school with other girls. I watched them all hang on your every word, all of them so pretty and girlie. You seemed to like that and I knew I was nothing like that. I felt so inadequate compared to them. Finally, I felt a small piece of hope the summer before you and Tanya started dating when, I went with you and your family on vacation that year. We had just left the water park and you threw your arm around my shoulder and we walked to the car together. All I had on was my bikini that Alice talked me into and you told me how pretty it was. It melted my heart and I began to hope. Then a few weeks later school started and you and Tanya became a couple almost right away." As I spilled my heart out to him and relived those memories from the past, I could almost smell the coconut oil he used that day at the water park. I wanted to turn and just kiss him that day but I chickened out. I couldn't do it.
"Bella, I had no idea. I feel so stupid now." His voice was so full of sadness and defeat.
"Edward, you had no idea, it's not your fault. We can't change the past, it is what it is. It just hurt to know that you had what you deserved even if it was not me. I just wanted you to be happy and I was happy for you on the outside, but inside it still hurt." I shrugged, not exactly sure how to express the weird mix of happy and sad that I felt when I thought of Edward back then.
"That's the problem Bella. I did care for you but all of the sudden you kept your distance and I didn't know what to do about that. So, I kept mine and thought I had misunderstood you. When Tanya asked me out I said yes. We showed up together to the lunch room that first time your face only showed happiness so I thought I had done the right thing. I wanted you so bad that summer. I almost made myself kiss you. You were so beautiful in that pink bikini."
He rolled me over and pulled my face up so that I was face to face with him. His beautiful eyes held the truth, I didn't even consider questioning him. "I still have a picture that Emmett took of the two of us that day; I carry it in my wallet. It's always been kept hidden just so Tanya would never find it but I still carry it. God, Bella, we're both so stupid!" His laugh was full of regret and sorrow but it didn't sound sad somehow.
We both laid in silence for a while, I was processing our revelations. Edward had liked me all along, as much as I wanted it to be true, it didn't register that he could ever feel that way about me then.
"I guess I didn't know as much back then as I thought I did."
"What do you mean Bella?"
"Well, I talked to my mom and she told me I had it all wrong about her and my dad. I assumed that Charlie never remarried because he was so heartbroken over my mom leaving. My mom said that they spoke about it years later and Charlie told her that he was happy with his life. He didn't see the sense in forcing a relationship that would only fall apart again. He was waiting for 'the one' to come along, but in the booming town of Forks didn't offer up much selection. Charlie being Charlie, made the best out of what he had, and just enjoyed his life." My voice choked up when I spoke of my Dad; even after all of this time. Edward rubbed his hands up and down my arms. The simple gesture was so soothing.
"I know from his letter to me that he always wanted love again but he never shut himself off from it like I thought he did. It just never happened for him. Mom thinks that he and Sue Clearwater probably would have made a go of it, if he hadn't been killed so suddenly. I think I might want to talk to Sue and see what I can learn from her. It's nice knowing that he wasn't miserable without love nor was he too broken up after my mom left to try again."
"So, I guess Carlisle's point of communication can be taken and applied by each of us. I know I'm guilty of assuming you know what I mean, when in fact you may not. I promise to be better at talking things out with you. I have held everything in for so long that it's second nature to me. But for once in my life I really do want to share things with you Bella. I also have seen that it's easier than I thought it would be. I felt so much lighter when I was getting everything off my chest with Dr. Ward. And you, you can't allow these emotions to run away with you. Come to me and let's talk about them. Let me tell you exactly what I feel or think instead of going on assumptions."
"I will, I promise."
"Good now let's get some sleep, I don't know about you but I haven't slept well for the last few weeks and I need to catch up."
"Yeah, I know that feeling as well."
As I laid still in Edward's arms, I felt him relax against me. His soft snores giving me notice that he had fallen asleep. I couldn't shut off my brain. I kept replaying my life over and over in my head. I tried to recall every memory to see if there was anything else that I had misinterpreted.
When Edward shifted his body beside me I took the opportunity to move his arms off of me and slid off the side of the air mattress. I stepped into my sandals and walked down to the river.
The night was perfect; there was no moon so you could see all the stars. The sky was littered with them, each one sparkled and glowed. I reclined against the cool grass and stared up at them. I remembered the night that Charlie sat outside with me all night so I could identify the different star formations for school. We talked all night long. It was nice, Charlie was a great father.
"Hey what are you doing out here?" Edward's sleepy voice asked.
"Couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you. Sorry, I guess I didn't do a good job with that did I?"
"You okay?" Edward ran his thumb across my cheek and wiped off some tears that I hadn't even realized had fallen.
"Yeah, just looking at the stars and remembering the night Charlie and I stayed out all night long looking at the stars for that assignment we had for school. It was a good memory; I didn't even realize that I was crying. I guess I'm just emotional. You can go back in if you want, I'll only be a few minutes longer. I just want to put my feet in the river for a few minutes."
"Nah, I'll stay with you. I can't sleep without you anyway. Scoot closer and we can put our feet in right here."
"Okay."
We scooted closer to the edge and dropped our feet into the water. Edward dropped his head down on my shoulder and kissed my neck. "Is this okay?" He asked as his mouth and nose skimmed back and forth across my shoulder.
"Yeah, it's perfect."
"You don't know how many times I begged for the opportunity to hold you like this again, Bella. I was so afraid that I had lost you. I love (d) you so much and it killed me to watch you walk away, not knowing if I would ever get the chance to show you how much I loved you again." I felt his chest shake against me.
I turned in his arms. "Show me now; show me how much you love me, please." I kissed his lips with every ounce of emotion that I had inside. It was a heady combination of love, desire, and passion all rolled into one big ball. It set my body on fire.
Edward's groan from our kiss spilled into my mouth. I sucked every drop of it up and wanted more. His hands ghosted across my breasts on their way down to my waist. I couldn't help but push into him and hope that he would touch me with more force. I needed to feel him against me. I slid my hands under his shirt and ran them up the hard muscles that lined his back. I tried to push closer to him and my foot slid on the bank of the river and I ended up farther away from Edward. I was scrambling the few feet back to Edward when he gave up and scooted down to the bank to me.
I put my hands back under his shirt, loving how the warmth of his body was so soothing to feel under my fingers. I couldn't move without sliding further down the bank so I allowed Edward to dictate our movements.
He pulled me closer and closer to his body. He seemed almost hesitant to push beyond what we were doing at the moment.
I pulled away from him, trying to find the reason in his eyes. Not finding anything that gave me a real clue, I decided to just ask. "What's wrong?"
"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea, that's all. I love you so much and have made such a mess that I want to do this right from here on out." His right hand stayed in my shirt while his left drifted up to run through his hair. I knew that I needed to get him out of his own head and just go with it instead of thinking about it so much.
"There is no wrong idea here. Do you love me?" He nodded so I continued. "Well, I love you and want to feel you hold me and make love to me. I know what we have is real and I want to feel it, please. Love me Edward." I dropped my voice down to a whisper.
"Come here, baby." He pulled me closer as we slid the rest of the way down the bank and into the edge of the water. I could feel the tepid water seeping into the back of my shorts.
Edward grunted and stood up with me in his arms. We walked down into the water. He stopped when the water was chest deep on him. I realized that with Edward's height that I was way in over my head. I hung on to Edward and pressed my body closer to him.
Our kisses were rushed and heated. We were trying to reconnect with each other, to grasp at what we once had and make it possible again. It all felt rushed but at the same time it felt right and was exactly what we needed to completely reconnect.
Normally Edward is a slow patient lover, whispering words of love and encouragement to me. This time he seemed unable to make it all connect in his mind, he was frenzied.
With one arm wrapped around my waist supporting me, he pushed my shirt over my head with his free hand. I used my freed arms to pull his shirt over his head as well, when I let it go, to sink or float off down the river. I groaned at the multiple sensations bombarding me at once. Edward's warm chest with its light matt of chest hair, met the cool water of the river as they both collided with my skin. Each sensation was hard to separate and process but all together they stimulated my body beyond belief.
As soon as both our shirts were free from our bodies, I began to use my feet and legs to push down Edward's boxer briefs. The need was building at an incredible speed and I needed to feel Edward pushing inside me, and quickly. He must have understood because he reached down to pull them off and fling them towards the bank. This left him totally naked, so now I had to finish my undressing.
I dropped my legs from Edward's waist and attempted to push slightly away to remove my shorts and underwear. Strong arms pulled me up higher out of the water and gave me the leverage to push my simple cotton shorts and underwear down and off my body.
Finally we were both completely skin to skin. It felt glorious. I leaned in to kiss his chest right over his heart. "I love you," I panted.
Edward whispered, "More than words." Then he slowly slid into me. I was home, a wonderful perfect home. We both paused when he completely filled me, just relishing the feeling.
Tightening my arms around his neck, I used them for leverage as I pulled up and slid back down on him, moaning as he once again filled me. I tried to find a steady rhythm. Both our arms were entangled trying to hold me up out of the water and Edward's feet kept slipping in the muddy river bottom.
Edward walked closer to the bank, holding me tighter as he grabbed the few pieces of our clothes that managed to not float off. He walked downstream and stepped out onto the river bank , with my legs still wrapped around him. The thrill of being out in the open with Edward's cock still logged deep inside me was a definite turn on. I couldn't help but kiss the streams of water slowly dripping off of his jaw and chest as he made his way back to our tent. I nearly came undone from the sensations caused by the movements of him walking the short distance from the river to the tent. I nervously glanced over each shoulder to make sure that no one else chose that moment to step out of their tent for some fresh air.
Our clothes made a loud splat when we dropped them outside the tent door. They were soon forgotten when we dropped down on the air mattress. Edward pulled away and backed off the edge to kneel at the side. He pulled me half off as well and flipped me over onto my stomach. What felt like a bolt of electricity shot up my spine as his rough hands landed on my hips. He pulled me back at the same time he pushed forward and slid all the way inside me. I was instantly at a loss for words or sounds. I could only feel, just close my eyes and concentrate on the feelings he was causing deep within me.
"Fuck, this isn't going to last long." He whispered in between his frantic pace. I leaned back and met him thrust for thrust. My body agreed with his, it had been too long and he felt too good, this wasn't going to last long at all.
I dropped down off of my elbows and laid face down on the bed. My upper body was unable to move, but the change in angle caused him to hit that spot so deep inside me and all I could do was let him have his way with my body. The only movements were the push and pull from Edward, as he continued to pound into me. His grip tightened on my hip as he knocked my knees apart a little wider. The new distance allowed him to slide just a little deep and hit that magic spot inside me even harder than before. The heat and electricity ripped through me, as I struggled not to scream. I didn't want the others to come tearing into my tent thinking I needed to be saved right now. And I'm sure that Edward didn't want a rescue mission right now either. I could feel Edward swell as my body tightened down on him. I knew he was almost there just as I was.
"Baby." Was the only thing he whispered as came. It affected me stronger than any kinky, dirty talk ever did. This was the honest love shared between two people. It wasn't slow or sweet. It was two frantic and frenzied people trying to reconnect to each other. It was the best sex in the world, because it was with Edward. I was back in his arms, sharing this with him. That fact alone made it perfect.
It was easy to slip off to sleep when Edward pulled us back in the sleeping bags and wrapped his arms around me.
The next day, we had just come back from swimming in the river when my phone rang. I was surprised that I even had reception.
"Hello."
"Bells? Where are you, you're breaking up." Jacob called out to me.
"We're camping on the side of a mountain, not the best reception. You okay?" I was worried about how he was doing. I hadn't been in contact with Jacob any more than I had with any of the rest of them, so I wasn't sure how his healing was progressing.
"Fine, I was worried about you. I talked to Edward and he told me about what happened. Is everything cool?"
"Actually, I'm here with Edward now. Things are good, we have talked it out and I think, no, I know we are going to be fine. That was sweet of you to check on me though." It never ceased to amaze me how Jacob and I could fall so easily into the brother/sister role once we each found the right person for us.
"Sure, sure. Anything for my Bells. I'll let you go but you call me so we can catch up. I got good news to tell you about Nessie." He sounded excited, he deserved his happiness. I was glad for him.
"I will Jake, I'll call you when we get home. Take care."
"You too Bells."
When I put my phone back in my pocket I noticed Edward looking at me from across the campsite. I mouthed, "What?" back to him. He shook his head and mouthed, "I love you."
"Hey you two get a tent!" Emmett yelled from across the campsite. Everyone turned to look at the two of us; each of them was wearing a satisfied grin on their faces. Guess we weren't the only ones that were happy about the reconciliation.
Three Months later
I always enjoyed walking hand in hand with Edward out of our counseling appointment. I felt light and free, like I could take on the world. Edward's smile showed his matching sentiments about our sessions gravity defying offerings as well.
At first we went individually weekly and then attended a weekly session together but as we worked through our problems we have narrowed it down to once every two weeks for us together. It's nice to feel at peace with my life. It's a nice feeling to know that Edward and I both have fought to make this relationship work together.
Zafrina, our councilor, has helped me deal with completely trusting Edward, both of our self-doubts, our communication with each other, and most importantly me taking control of my life and not just accepting what happens to me. I have learned to go for the things I want in life and make them happen, which in turn makes me a happier person. Edward has rid himself of the doubt that Tanya has caused and finally feels confident to make decisions without hesitation or worry over what could go wrong. I now believe that I'm worthy of Edward's love and devotion. When he says he loves me or that I'm beautiful, I stop to accept his devotion. No more worrying in the back of my mind as to whether or not it's true. We have found ways to talk to each other about goals, concerns, fears and issues with each other. We can be completely honest about all aspects of our life. We also have learned to not make decisions for each other. Edward and I both deserve the opportunity to decide what we want in life, not to have our partners belittle our thoughts and feelings by choosing for us.
When Charlotte had returned from the publicity tour (and) I went back to work with her, but not for long. Seems like the amount of work I had done with her while I was on the tour was enough to convince the head honchos that I did deserve the promotion. I now have an office, instead of a cubicle, and get better choices of which manuscripts I edit as well. The extra responsibility feels good to take on and show myself that I can do whatever Little & Brown laid in front of me. Charlotte and Edward have also made amends. We can all laugh about it now, but we all three are certainly glad that it is over.
I hear my phone buzz to notify me that I have a new text message.
Hey Baby!
Got good news, you heading home yet?
E
He never fails to cause my stomach to do little flips with his ever changing terms of endearments that he calls me.
E~
Just about to leave now, you heading home soon?
B xxoo
I loved cooking, cleaning and taking care of Edward. He appreciated everything I did and rarely failed to let me know how much.
Soon my phone was buzzing again.
Baby,
I'm leaving now, wanna meet for dinner and I'll tell you the good news?
Xxoo u 2
E
How could a girl pass up that opportunity?
E~
Where?
Xxoo u more
B
Before the screen even went dark his reply came in.
Baby,
You aren't gonna win this war!
Xxoo to infinity and beyond! Ha take that:)
Bella Italia, about 20 minutes?
E
He certainly knew the way to my heart, mushy words and mushroom ravioli!
E~
See you there!
B
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