Playlist: Hollaback Girl-Gwen Stefani, Brass Monkey- Beastie Boys, Faithfully- Journey, Dancing in the Dark- Bruce Springsteen, Talk Dirty to Me- Poison, Total Eclipse of the Heart- Bonnie Tyler, Like a Virgin-Madonna, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper, On the Edge of a Broken Heart- Vixen
Now on with the show...
I heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that I would hear it;
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up;
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack, gonna get a touchdown, gonna get take you out;
So, put your pom-pom's down, getting everybody fired up;
A few times I've been around that track, so it's just not gonna happen like that;
'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!
A few times I've been around that track, so it's just not gonna happen like that;
'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!
So that's right dude put me on the bleachers, no principle's, no student teachers;
Both of us want to be the winner but there can only be one;
So, I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all, gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you;
That's right I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust.
A few times I've been around that track, so it's just not gonna happen like that;
'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!
A few times I've been around that track, so it's just not gonna happen like that;
'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback girl!
Gwen Stefani- Hollaback Girl
Bella's POV
"Emmett, just shut the fuck up and get in the damn car. I swear I will kick your ass right here and right now," Rosalie screeched at him.
"Don't be pissed off, Rosie. I didn't mean it like you all totally sucked. You don't, you're just not as good as we are, that's all. I mean, come on. We dudes have this wrapped up. Jasper and Edward have mad musical skills, and me, well I'm just rock at being a rock star. So, it's not your fault! We can still have fun, you will do a good job, don't worry about it." Emmett patted Rosalie on the back as he finished his totally condescending speech without realizing that he just threw all three of us under the bus.
Several people shouted at once.
"Emmett, what the hell?" Alice called.
"Dude, shut your fucking mouth before you get all of our asses kicked." Jasper tried to warn him.
"You are such a dumb ass, who has his own head stuck up his own ass!" Rosalie huffed as she slapped the back of his head and then crossed her arms.
Edward and I sat up front smirking at each other, it was so nice to see the shit storm that Emmett brought on himself. The funny thing was that he never had any idea how he got into so much trouble. He was totally oblivious to the crap that spouted out of his mouth. Edward glanced at him in the rearview mirror and snickered at him.
"Wait, may I ask what the hell this is about? Remember, Edward and I came in on the end of this. So, please explain." Emmett opened his mouth to launch into his own defense. I held up my hand to stop him. His mouth snapped close.
"Jasper, you explain," I suggested. I knew we would get the most fair and unbiased opinion of the situation from him.
"Okay, we were discussing tonight and trying to decide if we were going to sing. Rosalie said she was definitely singing, and Alice agreed she would as well. Emmett, here, piped up and said there was no reason for them to even bother because he was going to sing and no one would want to hear anyone else after he was finished. He then went on to defend himself and say that it wasn't y'alls fault that the girls of this family aren't as talented as the guys. Which of course pissed off the girls and that is where you picked us up at. So, Emmett is a great big old ass and got us guys in trouble, AGAIN!" Jasper reached back and slapped him on the arm.
"Dude, you can't deny that the guys have more musical talent than the women. You, you play guitar; Edward plays guitar and piano. I bang around on the drums. The girls, what do they play? Nothing! Again, we will wipe the floor with their asses if this was like American Idol or some shit. We would hands down get more votes than them. Sorry, I love you three and you are as hot as hell. But…we kick your ass this time." Emmett settled back into the back seat and crossed his arms, like he had just cured cancer or something important in his life.
I turned to look at Bella. I could see the flames just below the skin of her face. It's a good thing that Emmett had settled in the furthest seat back away from any of the women in the car. Even Rosalie decided that she didn't want to sit with him, she chose to sit with Jasper and Alice instead.
I held up my hand to stop the chatter from all of the other occupants in the car.
"So, Emmett, what you are saying is that, because we are obviously so far inferior to the musical skills of the guys, if we put tonight to a vote we would be voted off of the show? Did I get that right?"
"Well, it sounds harsh when you say it Bella, but yeah that's about right." Emmett offered, his face slightly changing thinking that he had found an ally in me.
"Okay, so…let's vote on it." I offered, holding up my hands in a vote.
"Now, Bellarina, you are taking this too far…" Emmett started.
Edward interrupted, "No, Bella has a great idea. We can't, or actually you Emmett, can't make a statement like that and not expect to be called out on it. So, let's each pick a song and sing them. We will have the audience vote. They are totally unbiased and don't know us, so that way no one can call foul when it's all said and done. What do you think of that? All in favor of a show down, raise your hands." All three of the girls hands went up right away, so did Emmett's. Edward and Jasper, bless their hearts, were smart enough to know that this couldn't end well for them. So, they left their hands down.
"Pussies!" Emmett squawked from the back of the car.
"Emmett, that is where you are wrong again. We are not pussies, but I do like pussy. And I can tell you that if you if this ends the wrong way, I will not be getting any pussy for a long time. I can not handle that! So, therefore I do not want to challenge the beautiful, and very talented woman sitting beside me to a sing off! I am Switzerland!" Jasper tried to get back into Alice's good graces. She sent him a small smile.
"Okay, then let's make this a little more interesting for all parties. No pussy bans. We will think of punishment for the losing team. We will stick to the punishment, no extra fines. Because I for one really want to see who will walk away the victor from this little competition." Rosalie reasoned. She looked a little smug, as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. A move that I knew for a fact weakened Emmett, he had a thing for her hair.
"Okay, so we each sing, the audience votes and the loosing team carries out the punishment. No extras, no pussy bans. Can we all agree on that?" Edward called from the front seat and checked the rearview mirror again to make sure that we had everyone's agreement.
"But, if we each sing a song then I will have to choose something new. I had a song picked out for all three of us to sing together, Ed." Emmett pouted and whined just like a three year old. His arms folded over his massive chest, with his bottom lip slightly stuck out.
"Fine, we can each sing a song and then we will do one group song. The audience will choose one individual winner, just for bragging rights, and then they will choose a group winner. The group winner will get to decide the punishment for the losers. How does that sound?" Edward offered again.
Alice clapped her hands and began to bounce up and down. "What does the individual winner get?" She squeaked.
"Bragging rights, for starters and we can each chip into a pot that they win." Jasper drawled.
"Fine, how much?" Rosalie asked.
"We each chip in $100, and that will make the pot $600. That's not a bad take home for a little singing and booty shaking, don't you think?" Jasper danced as he explained.
"We decide the punishment first before we sing," Jasper added.
"Fine, we will think about it during dinner and get back to you with our chosen punishment before we go into the club. Your team must have their punishment then as well." Rosalie called out in a firm voice. She turned for the first time and looked at Emmett. He nodded.
"We are here. No more talking about or being angry about the bet during dinner. We will have a few minutes after dinner to talk amongst our groups to decide. Until then we are normal and happy, got it?" Edward turned and looked at all of us; he reminded me of the bus driver we had all during elementary school. He just had this look on his face that dared you to cross him. Edward received nods from all the rest of us and we shuffled out of the car.
We all enjoyed the dinner and chatted like any other normal day. No mention of the bet. We did discuss Edward's new development with everyone. Everyone had the same thing to say about the sudden change. They agreed that it was an opportunity that Edward couldn't pass up.
When dinner was over, we ladies excused ourselves to the restroom to discuss.
"Okay, first things first. What is their punishment?" Rosalie whipped around to face Alice and I.
"We need to hit them where it hurts!" Alice chanted.
"Emmett hates to do housework, he paid for a housekeeper when we lived in the condo, because he didn't want to help out. So, I say we make them cook and clean for a whole week. They can't order any take out at all. They have to cook every day, three meals a day. And they have to do all of the housework, dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, laundry, all of it. Emmett will die if he has to do that. It will kill him. I don't think that Edward and Jasper will have too much trouble with it, so that is fair for them. At least they won't have to pay too bad for Emmett's fuck up this time." Rosalie had struck pay-dirt with this idea. I liked it so I nodded my head at her. Alice was nodding as well.
"Now, what the hell are we going to sing?" Rosalie asked.
"Oooh, that's easy. I have been thinking about that all night. Rosalie you will sing 'Like a Virgin'. Emmett has a weakness for that song and for you singing it will push him over the edge. A little mental torture for him will serve him right. Bella, you will sing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart', you totally love that song and it will be fun to hear you sing it somewhere other than the shower. And I will sing 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'. Sound good?" We all nodded and then jumped around in a circle in the ladies room like a bunch of twelve year olds.
"When we get back to the table, make the guys say their punishment first. I want to hear how mean they are going to be before we say ours out loud. I don't want to go softer on them if they are going to make us do something mean, or dirty, or cruel." Alice pouted.
"Agreed." Rosalie and I nodded at her line of thinking.
We arrived back at the table as the boys hushed and sat up straight. They had all moved to far side of the table, so we took the seats across from our partners. Emmett cleared his throat.
"I bring this meeting to order, ladies do you have anything to say?" Emmett looked at all three of us, his eyes giving away his nervousness.
"No, we don't. Please tell us what our punishment will be, IF we lose this sing off," Alice demanded.
"We have given this a lot of thought and as a group we have decided that if the losing team is the ladies, you all will wash, wax, and detail the inside of our cars. We choose the day this washing extravaganza will happen, and it has to be done in a bikinis that we will buy for you. Any questions?" Emmett once again looked from Rosalie, to Alice to me. We all nodded our decline at questions.
Alice cleared her throat, "We have decided that you men will cook and clean the house for a whole week when you lose. You must cook all three meals at home, no take out at all during that week. You will be in charge of cooking and all cleaning, to include laundry. We will have a detailed list made up for you on the first day of the week. We will not be excessive with this list, it will only be weekly cleaning duties, no deep cleaning or spring cleaning shit on there. Esme will look it over to prove to you all that we are being fair. We will decide when this happens. One meal must be served to us topless." Emmett's face had sunk considerably at Alice's words, until he heard topless. Then his face lit up again. Alice held up her hand. "Emmett, you three will be topless, not us you dumb ass." His face fell again.
"Fine, we accept the topless dinner, but we ask for one nice dinner out that week. All the rest we will cook for you. If Esme approves the list then we will do everything on it." Jasper spoke up.
Rosalie spoke up for our group, "Fine. We agree." We all stuck out our hands to shake on our agreement, and the men stuck theirs out as well. We all shook our agreement and left the restaurant.
We had just stepped up to the doors of the club when Jasper threw his arm out to stop us.
"Ladies, are you sure? We don't have to do this. Emmett is a big old jackass and we can all agree on that part. We don't have to do this." Jasper's face looked hopeful. Even though we agreed to no other repercussions from this bet, Jasper was still afraid to suffer the wrath of Alice, for any reason.
"Nope, we're good." I offered, and dashed his hopes.
We entered the club and took two of the little round tables side by side. The women sat at one table together and left the men to sit at their table without us.
"So, what songs are you going to sing?" Emmett asked.
"You'll see when we take the stage," Rosalie shot back.
"Fine, but I hope you have them all planned out, because we do and ours rock. Our group song will blow you away." Emmett looked like he wanted to stick out his tongue at Rosalie, but somehow he managed to hold it in his mouth.
Rosalie turned back to the two of us, "We forgot our group song." The horror of our flaw showing on her face.
"Don't worry, I thought about that on the way here, we'll sing 'On the Edge of a Broken Heart' by Vixen. I loved that video, they all ran around in leather and rode motorcycles in high heeled boots." Alice clapped her hands as she spoke.
"So, all that's left to do is write down our songs and explain it all the DJ. I hope he likes a good wager." The hope dwindled when I looked over at Jasper and Edward smiling like the cat that ate the cream.
After explaining our bet to the DJ, both teams turned in their songs and sat to wait our turn.
Several different club patrons were called to sing, and then the DJ came to the stage. He scratched his head and began to describe our bet. The audience immediately began to cheer and whistle. So, the DJ called the first singer to the stage. None other than me.
I stepped up, took the microphone, and took a deep breath. I had sung this song a million times in my shower, I could do this. I wasn't a terrible singer, I could hold the tune and sing in pitch. So as the music started I looked over at Alice and Rosalie's faces. They both looked very optimistic, so I began to sing.
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart, Every now and then I fall apart.
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild,
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and try,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes,
I was just about to hit the chorus and it felt good. People were whistling and cheering with me, singing along. Alice and Rosalie were standing up at the table with a lighter held up over their heads. I almost laughed at them. Then I saw Edward's face. He was caught up in me, staring straight at me. His face held nothing but adoration, for me. His eyes danced when they met mine, and I began to sing to him. Pouring my heart into every word, making him understand that the only thing I need is him. He had caused my own total eclipse of the heart.
My song ended and the place erupted in cheers and applause. I took a small bow and rushed off stage. I couldn't believe that I went along with this silly plan, much less went first. I blushed furiously as I sat down. Edward pulled me into his lap and kissed me soundly.
"That was as sexy as hell, promise me that this song goes onto our playlist, " he whispered to me, as I nodded back at him.
The next up was Jasper. He chose 'Dancing in the Dark' by Bruce Springsteen. He found a slower acoustic version that he was singing now. His slow country drawl, brought out all of the good points of the song. He did sound amazing. Alice stood up in her chair and wolf whistled for him. He just smiled and dipped his head at her.
You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark,
This guns for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark.
Sitting around getting older,
There's a joke here somewhere, and it's on me,
Shake this world off my shoulders, come on baby the laughs on me.
Stay on the streets of this town, and they'll be carving all right.
You say you gotta stay hungry, hey baby I'm just about starving tonight.
I'm dying for some action, sick of sitting around here trying to write this book.
The ladies were eating up country boy Jasper. His tall legs and tight jeans were playing right into their hands. I was worried that we may lose based on looks, not on singing ability. The women seemed to go crazy when Jasper sang he was 'dying for some action'. I stood and clapped when he was finished. Jasper had done a great job. I was definitely worried.
The DJ called all three boys up to the stage. I was so curious to find out what their group song would be. The DJ quickly put me out of my misery as he started the song. The familiar beats and scratching at the beginning of the song almost gave it away. I could almost call the name to the front of my mind. Then I heard the tell tale saxophone staccato that erased all the doubt. Our men were going to go old school rap and channel their inner white boy rappers. It was absolutely perfect, who could argue with 'Brass Monkey'? I looked over at Rose and Alice, we all three were shaking our heads.
Cause I drink it anytime - and anyplace
When it's time to get ill - I pour it on my face
Monkey tastes Def when you pour it on ice
Come on y'all it's time to get nice
Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew - we're drinking Brass Monkey
This girl walked by - she gave me the eye
I reached in the locker - grabbed the Spanish Fly
I put it with the Monkey - mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
I offered her a sip - the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip
All three guys had their parts down, each one was a different Beastie Boys and they knew their stuff. They had the hand gestures and crazy dance moves. I laughed my ass off the whole time. The crowd was dancing and singing along with them. Edward kept giving me a wink when he would 'dance' over to our side of the stage. I threw the back of my hand up over my forehead and pretended to faint for him. He just laughed and danced away. When the song was over the applause was deafening. The boys high-fived and knuckle bumped people in the crowd as they left the stage. I could see several girls fawning over Edward but he quickly made his way back to our tables. I made sure he sat in my seat with me on his lap, to establish he was my territory.
Alice was called to the stage. She grabbed the microphone and moved the stand out of her way. This was going to be good. Alice's song was immediately recognized, and she started dancing right away. She only lacked the large tutu type skirt and bustier top. I was suddenly glad that Alice didn't know about this little competition before we left, or we may all very well be in costumes to go along with our songs. Rosalie and I started the wave when Alice hit the chorus, like they did in the video. Alice danced around encouraging the audience to wave and dance with her.
When the working day is done, oh girls want to have fun,
They just wanna, they just wanna, they just wanna.
Oh, girls just wanna have fun,
Girls just wanna have fun.
When the working day is done, oh girls,
Girls just wanna have fun.
They just wanna, they just wanna, they just wanna,
Oh girls just wanna have fun.
Alice seemed to glide off of the stage, she loved this kind of thing. She always pushed me to open up more and be more adventurous. Now I finally felt comfortable. I finally felt like I had someone that would support me and allow me to be me. My thoughts were interrupted when the DJ called Emmett to the stage.
He stood up and did his best Chris Farley imitation. He threw his hands over his head, and his fingers flexed to form the ever present rock on from the 80's.
The loud guitar strumming and heavy drum beats started and Emmett transformed into a rock star. He moved around the stage and played it up to the girls.
At the drive in
In the old man's Ford
Behind the bushes
Til I'm screamin' for more
Down in the basement
Lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to me!
You know I call you, I call you on the telephone
I'm only hopin' that you're home
So I can hear you
When you say those words to me
And whisper so softly
I've gotta hear you
Cause baby we'll be
Emmett jumped and grabbed his leg and did the air guitar during the last solo. Then he turned around and shook his ass at the crowd. He looked smug as he left the stage, but he didn't know about our secret weapon. His smug ass would be drooling in just a few minutes along with all of the other guys in this place. I was so thankful that Rosalie was called last from our group.
Sure enough, Rosalie stood and slowly sauntered towards the stage. The men in the club took notice and stepped closer to the stage. Rosalie played coy and shy. She took the microphone and slowly slid the stand way out of the way. Alice and I had both seen this show before, we knew that her song would include the now infamous rolling around on the floor like Madonna did in the awards show. The men would love this, and let's be honest, not many women can say that they didn't want to be Madonna. So she should be a big hit with this song.
As soon as the first beat of the song started, Emmett stood up from his chair and shouted her name. She just looked over at him and shrugged her shoulders. He wasn't buying it, he knew we were playing to win. He slammed back down in the chair and just watched his woman wipe the floor with his ass. Everyone in that room was hanging on Rosalie Hale's every move, and she loved it.
Sure enough, she dropped to the floor and spread her legs to roll around.
Like a virgin, hey, touched for the very first time;
Like a virgin, with your heartbeat next to mine;
Like a virgin, ooooh, like a virgin;
Feels so good inside;
When you hold me and your heart beats;
And you love me;
Oooh, baby, can't you feel my heart beat for the very first time.
Rosalie threw in a few air humps as she slithered around. When the song was finished she stood, dusted herself off and left the stage. Emmett refused to meet her eyes.
"Beat that talent, fucker." She tossed at him as she moved around his table to sit back at ours.
Edward stood and slowly walked towards the stage, knowing that he was the last one left to go. I was mesmerized from the moment that he stood. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.
I heard the piano begin to play and knew for a fact this was a song that Edward knew how to play himself. His choice made sense. He chose a song he knew well, just like I had.
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin' all my love
Along the wire
His voice was so strong and clear. The rest of the room floated away and left him and I. He sang to me and I stood and watched him.
They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
It's been you and me
And lovin' a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
I felt like he was telling me more than the words of the song. Like he hadn't just chosen a song he knew, he chose this one for a certain reason. I only hoped that I wasn't misunderstanding the meaning. I made a note to ask him why he chose this song later.
Oh girl you stand by me
I'm forever yours, faithfully
Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours, faithfully
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Faithfully, I'm still yours
I'm forever yours
Ever yours, faithfully
I had tears in my eyes when Edward was finished and left the stage. I prayed that I understood his meaning, clearly. His eyes locked on mine. I started towards him, his body calling to mine. When we met, he placed his hand on my face and brushed the small tears away and pulled me into a searing kiss. I threw my arms around his neck and gave back every ounce of passion he was giving me. I had not misunderstood the song, he was declaring himself to me.
Alice and Rosalie both grabbed my hands and pulled me away from Edward as the DJ was calling us up for our group song. We took the stage and assumed the Charlie's Angels pose to start the song off. Too bad we didn't have those red and black leather outfits to make this song more bad assed. We took turns singing and providing back up. Some of the words were totally appropriate for tonight.
It isn't like you never had the chance to change your tune;
Did you think that I'm a dime a dance, well the dancing through;
I've been doing things your way for too long, well baby that's over;
It won't be easy but I've got to be strong;
And if I need to cry I don't need your shoulder.
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl;
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
Don't you wonder why, I gotta say goodbye.
I'll find someone else, who's nothing like you;
Two can play the game as well;
And you're gonna be sorry baby, when it's over.
I've been doing things your way for too long, well baby that's over;
It won't be easy but I've got to be strong;
And if I need to cry I don't need your shoulder.
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl;
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
Don't you wonder why, I gotta say goodbye.
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart;
Don't you wonder why, I gotta say goodbye;
I've been living on the edge of a broken heart.
The game was over, we had done all we could do. We took our seats as the DJ once again took the stage.
"Okay people, what did you think?" The crowd applauded loudly, so we must not have been that bad.
"This was fun, maybe we'll do this again. A karaoke showdown! I like it. Well, on with the voting. There are two things you need to vote on. First write down the song of the person that you think did the best as an individual and then write down boys or girls for who you thought did the best overall with all three performers. Bring them up to me and I will count the votes."
I could see the eyes of the people that voted for the girls. They would look right at us and smile, but those that wouldn't meet our gaze, I was sure had voted for the guys. Several women came over to the guys table and tried to make small talk and test their chances with them. Rosalie scared off the groupies before any of them got serious, she had a really mean bitch eye look.
Several minutes later the DJ took the stage one last time and announced the winners.
"Looks like the song that one for individual winner was Faithfully."
Edward sat looking stunned, and then glanced around at me. I was clapping and cheering for my man. He stood and took a bow.
"Okay boys and girls, the big vote of the night. By a slight margin, I mean less than 10 votes separated them, is the…Girls! Give them all a big round of applause!" We girls stood and curtsied for everyone, and stuck our tongues out at Emmett. Edward and Jasper had the sense to come over and congratulate us. Emmett pouted a little bit first, but eventually Rosalie won him over and he came to place a big kiss right on her cheek.
We drank a few more beers and then we headed home. Edward drove again, since he didn't drink tonight. We decided to go and get the other cars in the morning. We were all ready for bed, and some of us were ready to celebrate our victory.
No comments:
Post a Comment