Chapter 8- Come Back To Bed

Playlist:Come Back to Bed-John Mayer, Forever-Rascal Flatts, Ain't No Sunshine-I like the Kris Allen version, but there are many to love-pick your fav,Mess I Made-Parachute(love the live version on iTunes live from SoHo), Hemorrhage-Fuel, What About Now-Daughtery(I like the American idol version on You tube)

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Still is the life of your room when you're not inside

And all of your things, tell the sweetest story line

Your tears on these sheets, and your footsteps are down the hall

So tell me what I did, I can't find where the moment went wrong at all

You can be mad in the morning, I'll take back what I said

Just don't leave me alone here, it's cold here baby

Come back to bed, Come back to bed

Come back to bed, Come back to bed

What will this fix, you know you're not a quick forgive

And I won't sleep through this, I survive on the breath you are finished with

You can be mad in the morning, I'll take back what I said

Just don't leave me alone here, it's cold here baby

Come back to bed, Come back to bed

Come back to bed, Come back to bed

John Mayer-Come Back to Bed

Chapter 8- Come Back To Bed

Bella's POV

I climbed into the Audi and started towards Alice and Jasper's place. I was barely out of the driveway when my phone rang, Jasper was calling.

"Hello."

"Bella, Edward is on the phone with Alice. He's frantic, something about a fight and you're heading to our house. Is everything okay? Can you drive? I can come and get you." He was worked up, family meant everything to Jasper, and I could tell that this was not going to be good for them with the two of us on different sides of this argument.

"Jasper I'm fine, I haven't even started crying yet, I was waiting to get there before I let it go. I promise I'll be there in 15 minutes." I deliberately slowed my breathing and calmed my voice during my speech so Jasper would wait for me and not try to come and pick me up.

"Okay, but you stay on the phone with me, so I know if you need help."

I chuckled under my breath at him, he really was a worrier.

"Tell me what happened. Alice is on the phone with Edward so I haven't heard anything, I just know it is bad." He encouraged.

I explained to him about the call and me asking Edward about it. I told him about Edward's cover up and our fight about it. "Jasper, I don't know what to say. Maybe he isn't the person I thought he was. How can I trust him? He admitted to lying to all of you about Tanya following him out to college. How can I trust him?"

"Baby girl, Edward is the first one to preach on truth. I don't think he would just give all that up for a phone call. Besides he admitted to me about Tanya following him. He gave me some good reasons for not letting all of us know at the time. I think there may be an explanation. Bella, he doesn't want to start anything with Tanya. He is done with her; she put him through hell when she moved out there with him. He really is done with her, trust me. I would never lie to you, you believe me?" His slow, lazy drawl calmed my nerves. Tears were streaming down my face. I wasn't sure why I was crying, for me or Edward. Either way, I was in their driveway.

"Jasper, I'm here, I'll be right in." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself.

He opened the car door and folded me into his arms. He walked me in the house and over to the couch, I cried and he held me. Not talking, just supporting.

Alice eventually got off of the phone with Edward and came to sit on the other side of me. She wrapped her arms around me and hummed to me. I eventually cried myself out and sat for a few minutes. Jasper got up and went to the kitchen. He came back with a bottle of water, handed it to me and sat again.

"Ok Bella, let's hear what happened." Alice whispered to me, but it sounded so loud in the quiet house.

"Well, after you two left and I got off of the phone with Esme, we went upstairs. I decided that I was going to ask him about the call from Tanya. I changed in my room and went to Edward's room with him. We got comfy on the bed and I just told him about leaving the note, finding the phone and hearing it ring. I told him I thought it was Jaz or Emmett, so I went back to pick it up and tell them he would be back soon, and then I saw her name. I told him I didn't answer it just left it ringing. I asked him why he didn't tell me about it and he said he checked his phone and didn't have a call from her and her name wasn't in his phone. I checked it myself and she wasn't in there, so he must have erased it. I got angry and said I wasn't going to wait for her to follow him around and get her claws into him again. I told him I didn't want my heart broken and I was coming over here. He just kept saying that it was a mistake somehow, and he didn't know what happened to the phone. He asked me to stay and not leave. I yelled at him about lying to all of you about Tanya and how was I supposed to believe that this wasn't a lie now, and he couldn't answer me. I left and came here. What do I do Alice? I want to be with him, but I can't wait for him to hurt me and run back to her. What kind of demon spell does she have over him that he does whatever she wants?" I stuttered.

"Bella, I know I may be speaking out of turn but Edward does have a no lying policy, many times he has made Emmett and myself tell the truth, I don't think he would change that for even Tanya. Are you sure there wasn't some other explanation?" she asked gently.

"Alice, how could there be any other explanation? I held the phone in my hands and saw her name pop up on the screen. There is no other explanation! And I don't really care about the call, he can't control what she does, but he shouldn't have kept it from me. I will always doubt him and I don't see how that can do anything but hurt us. What is the point of trying to form a relationship that is doomed from the start? I couldn't take the heartbreak, not from him." I whispered the last part, hoping that Alice and Jasper wouldn't catch the significance of that statement. He is the one person that could wound me beyond repair. I shuddered, when did I fall so completely in love with Edward? Since high school, we had only laid eyes on each other three days ago.

After a while, Jasper left us. We crawled upstairs and into her guest bed. I know she was conflicted and didn't want to take sides, and I loved her for staying with me. I needed comfort and she was the only one to give it to me right now. I lay there for a long time trying to think if there was any chance I had been wrong, or of any way Edward could be right, but I couldn't think of any. It hurt me to think that that happy future I thought I had a shot at a day ago was now gone. I also worried about the effect this would have on the group. Alice stayed with me all night while I slept.

When I woke up the next morning, Alice was gone but she had laid some clothes on the end of the bed and left me a note to feel free to stay as long as I liked. I stayed in bed until a little after ten, and then I only got up because I promised I would meet Esme for lunch. I wasn't sure I could make it through lunch without breaking down. I also wasn't ready to spill the truth to Esme about Edward and Tanya yet either. I thought that was his story to tell and not my business. So I did what I knew would work, I called Alice and she called Esme. She gave her the heads up about the fight and told her to not ask questions. Esme agreed so I left at 11:30 to meet up with her.

I parked the Audi and walked into the restaurant. I joined Esme at the table she was seated at. She smiled at me and said, "You know you can come to me if you need to, right? It doesn't matter who the other party is. I'm here for you just like I'm here for all the rest of them." She hugged me. I cried again, thinking of my mother and how much I missed her.

"Thanks, Esme. I just need some time to figure things out." I tried to smile at her but I'm sure it didn't come across as well as I wanted it to.

We talked and enjoyed lunch as well as we could with a big black cloud hanging over my head. Esme had a way of putting me at ease and allowing me to be myself without feeling like I was wrong. I loved her so much for being supportive of me while knowing when not to push too much. She paid for lunch and we hugged in the parking lot. I got in the Audi and watched her leave. I grabbed my phone and turned it on. I had 12 missed calls from Edward and several from Rosalie as well. Edward had only left one message for me.

"Bella, please, I'm sorry I reacted poorly and I don't know what to say. Please give me a chance to show you that I will never lie to you, I swear. I need you to know that you are more important to me than anything or anyone. I mean it. Please call me and let me know you are okay. Please, call me, love. I need to talk to you, just to know what you're thinking. I know you need time, I'll give you that as long as you want, but I just need to know you're okay. "

I almost caved in and ran home to him. We could work this out together, but I couldn't allow that kind of torture to my heart. I knew that if I forgave him, he would run off with my heart and I would be left with the devastation to clean up afterwards.

I did at least owe him a phone call, so I dialed the number and he picked up on the first ring.

"Bella, love, you okay?" He asked, his voice sounded dry and scratchy.

"I'm fine, Edward. I spent the night with Alice and Jasper and I just finished lunch with Esme. You sound terrible, are you okay?"

"If I say no, will you come home to me?" He asked honestly.

"No," I answered just as honestly.

"I figured. I don't know what to say Bella. I need you to believe me that I had nothing to do with the phone and I don't ever want to talk to or see Tanya again. That is the truth. I don't know what happened with the phone, I do believe that you saw the call, but I promise that I didn't do anything to erase the numbers. So we're right back at the starting point. Only you can decide, but Bella, know this. I have never been as happy as I have with you the past three days. I don't know where this is going, but I really want to find out. Bella, I need you." His voice broke on the last line, and I believed that he was telling the truth about the phone and how he felt.

"I have to call Rosalie, and then I'll be home." I whispered.

"I'll wait for you." His simple sentence held so many meanings and I hoped that he was able to fulfill each of them with me.

"Thanks." He hung up and I dialed Rosalie.

"Bella, how are you? What can I do?" She skipped all greetings and went right to the information that she wanted to know.

"I'm fine, Rosalie. Thanks. Sorry I didn't call you last night, I was a little too upset. I just talked to Edward and I'm heading home after I talk with you. I don't know what to do. He said he was sorry for how he reacted and told me that he doesn't want anything to do with Tanya. He also said that he believes that I saw Tanya's name on his phone, but promises that he didn't erase it. He doesn't know what happened. He sounded like he was in agony and I believe him. I'm just so confused. Maybe I overreacted, I don't know I just know that I'm going to go home and see what we can do about this. "

"It's okay. Edward called us when he hung up with Alice because he wanted her to be able to take care of you so he called us. He talked with Em for a little while. I knew that you were in good hands so we stayed at home and waited for you to get some sleep. I would have come over if you needed me, but Edward said that Alice and Jasper were taking care of you so we didn't come. " Rosalie finished and I was blown away. She was always so abrupt that it is hard to imagine Rosalie with human girlie feelings.

I was also stunned that Edward took care of me even when I didn't know he was doing it. I was his first thought last night. A trait that I thought that would be so easy to come by in a mate, but was lacking in every guy I had ever dated. Jake came the closest, but fell short most of the time. And here was Edward in his pain thinking of me. I needed to go home now and work this out.

I sped off towards Edward and what I really wanted.

Edward's POV

I could tell that Bella had something on her mind, as she was distracted and wouldn't meet my eyes. I was scared that she was having doubts about us. I would need to talk to her tonight about this and hope she was ready, because I was going to go insane if she held out on me any longer. I'm surprised by how easy things were with us, and I didn't want any obstacles between us.

Jasper and I sat patiently waiting on our girls to come back. Jasper was ready to make up after their moving fight and I just wanted to hold Bella again. I heard them pull into the driveway and my heart speed up at the thought of seeing her.

She walked in behind Alice. She stepped back and watched Alice launch herself in Jasper's arms and just chuckled. God, she was beautiful.

I walked over to her and placed my hand on her arm, she turned towards me and I hugged her in my arms, placing a kiss on her head. I murmured sweet nothings to her, telling her how good she smelled and how beautiful she was right now. I said them as quietly as I could, I was afraid she would be scared off by my show of devotion to her. "Hey, you okay?" I asked and then I nuzzled my nose along the outside of her ear. I couldn't help it, she always smells so good.

"I'm fine now; I just missed you, that's all. I think I'm finally at peace with what I've been struggling with all day and now I'm ready to talk about it. Does tonight in bed sound good?"

Finally we can talk this out. I was so excited to get things out in the open and settle them. Just as I was about to pull her in for a hug, her phone rang. She answered it and moved to sit on the couch, so I followed. I sat sideways facing her and I could watch her as she talked. I could hear Esme's voice through her phone. I heard Bella confirm lunch with Esme and then blushed as she deflected the subject of our new relationship. Her face was calm again, the worry now gone. Her eyes were clear and bright, she usually looked like this when she spent time with Alice and Rosalie. I guess all the laughter made her eyes shine like that. I picked up a strand of hair and played with it, it was so soft and smelled so good. I noticed her looking at me, so I let the hair drop.

"You okay?" She asked me, I had to shake my head to concentrate on her words.

"Yeah, just wondering how scared I should be that you and Esme are going to lunch to talk about me tomorrow," I answered, and then I laughed and pushed her up off of the couch. I wanted to get her to bed as soon as possible, first to clear the air and then to hold her in my arms.

I closed and locked the door; we closed all of the blinds and headed upstairs. I pulled her into my room with me to remind her that we were sleeping in here tonight.

Something about Bella called me to her body without my permission, not that I would have denied it if I was asked. I held her close and kissed her on the lips. I wanted to feel her against me, I have never craved a woman's touch this much, and usually it was just the sex that gratified me. But with Bella it was different, I wanted to feel her not just feel sex with her. I had to work to force myself to let her go so she could get ready for bed and we could talk. I had discovered that I also loved talking with Bella.

"Bella, run and change, so we can talk." I had to get her out of my room now or we would be talking in the morning and right now we would be in bed naked together.

I could hear her moving around in her bathroom, and wondered what was taking her so long. I was getting nervous about our talk and I wish she would get in here so we could get it out in the open. I finally heard her footsteps as she was walking down the hall towards me. I grabbed a book and pretended to read so she wouldn't think I was waiting on her. I don't know why it was important, but I felt like I was supposed to let her lead tonight. When she came into the room, I laid the book aside and flipped back the covers for her.

"Is talking in the bed okay, or would you like to move to the chairs?" I wanted her to choose so she was comfortable.

"No, here is fine." She climbed in and bit her lip in between her teeth.

"Edward," Her voice was shaking. "I was in your room earlier today, trying to leave you a note about meeting Rose and Ali for breakfast. When I was leaving I heard the phone ringing, I came back and picked it up expecting it to be Emmett or Jasper. Well it wasn't, it was Tanya. I didn't answer it; I was shocked to see her calling you. I just laid it down and left. When I got back home, I asked you about a missed call and you said you didn't have missed calls. I was wondering why you didn't tell me about her calling and if there was something going on I needed to know about before we take this too far." She was waving her hand between us.

Shit her words hit me like a ton of bricks, Tanya had called me. What did she want? Why after all this time? I didn't need her anymore, and now she was tracking me down and ruining what I may have with Bella? I sat quiet for a few seconds trying to figure out what to say to Bella, how to make her understand that Tanya had no hold on me now. I would never again fall for Tanya's tricks and be pulled back into hell with her. I then turned to look at Bella and search her face for a clue as to what she was thinking, hoping to find belief there. She held my gaze, probably looking for an answer from me as well.

I answered her honestly, but I didn't want her to think I was calling her a liar either. I had to answer carefully. "Bella, I didn't get a call from Tanya. I checked my phone after you mentioned a missed call earlier and I didn't see any call. Are you sure you saw Tanya's name? I'm not even sure that her info is in my phone anymore." I looked into her eyes and waited for her to see the truth there.

Her face twisted with anger and she sat up on her knees on the bed to tower over me. "Edward, of course, I'm sure, I saw her name. I can fucking read, it was Tanya and she was calling you. Now I wish that I had answered it so I would have a message to deliver and then you would believe me. I can't even fathom that you doubt me, why would I make this up?"

She was climbing out of bed, and I reached across for her to pull her back in. I didn't want any more running away; I wanted to deal with this, her and I right now. I wanted peace with her and the only way we could get it was to solve this now.

"Bella wait. I don't know, just …just wait." I stammered.

She headed across my room to the desk and grabbed my phone. She pressed several buttons in rapid succession and I knew she was checking my phone for Tanya's name and info, it wasn't there. She turned to look at me. I was frozen in place, half standing half sitting in bed; I was worried and shocked that she would doubt me so fully.

"Did you see it and erase her damn name, Edward?" She yelled at me. I could hear the anger in her words and see the emotions cross her face. What had I done that she would doubt me so completely? I'm sure she saw a call but perhaps it was someone else, why didn't she believe me?

"Bella, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't do anything to my phone. I never saw her name there, I swear. Please calm down and let's talk about this. I'm sure there is some explanation. Come back to bed Bella, please." I pleaded with her.

She just turned on her heels, tossed the phone at me, and left the room. She walked down the hall, slammed the door, and locked it.

I jumped up and grabbed my jeans and pulled them on. If she was leaving, I would need at least to be ready to follow her and make sure she was safe.

She had her keys and purse in her hand when she opened the door; I was standing in front of it hopefully blocking her path enough that she would stay here and not leave. I gently grabbed her arm as she tried to push past me.

"Bella, love, please listen to me. I promise I didn't erase anything. It wasn't there, I don't know what happened or what you saw, but it doesn't matter. I promise it doesn't matter to me. Please stay." I begged her again, I was scared for her to leave, and scared she would get hurt if she drove while she was upset, but more scared that if she left we would not be able to fix this.

"Have you lost your mind? I don't care if it matters to you. It matters to me. She was calling you, Edward. I'm not going to stand around and wait for her to come here and lay her hooks into you again. I don't want her following you everywhere you go. If you aren't willing to cut her loose, I'm not willing to start anything between us. I don't want my heartbroken, Edward, don't you understand that?" She was screaming at me now, and she shook all over.

"Bella, please, calm down you're in no shape to be driving, please just stay. I do understand and I promise I'm not lying about her calling and her number." Please let this get through to her, because I didn't want her to leave.

She cut me off, "And how am I supposed to believe that? You lied to your family; you admitted that you lied to protect yourself, what makes this so different? How do I know that this is different and you're telling the truth? I can't, I can tell by the look on your face you don't have an answer for me, which is answer enough." She had me and there was nothing I could do to argue the point, she was right. I had lied to my family about Tanya and it didn't look like I was going to come away from this without sounding like a jerk. I stood rooted in place by my fear.

"I'm going to Alice's. I will be back tomorrow," she said as she closed the front door.

I fell to my knees and grabbed my phone. I dialed the only person who could help me. I called Alice. She answered right away.

"Edward, what are you doing calling me so late? I figured you would have Bella wrapped up in bed with you." She laughed.

"Alice, I need help. Bella just left. She said she saw Tanya's name on my phone, she said Tanya called me. She mentioned it to me earlier that I had missed a call and I checked my phone; there was no call, only one from her phone. I don't know what to do. If I deny it, she thinks I'm calling her a liar, but I can't admit to something I didn't see. She's real upset Alice and I'm afraid for her to drive. Please call her and convince her to let you come and get her, anything but don't let her drive." I begged my sister to help me and keep Bella safe.

"Jasper, get your phone and call Bella on her cell, talk to her. She's had a fight with Edward and he's worried she's too upset to drive. " I could hear her saying to Jasper in the background.

"Edward, Jasper is going to call her and get her to let him come and pick her up somewhere. Stay on the phone with me until we get through to her. Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me everything, because I feel like you're leaving out a big part of the whole story." I should have known better than to try to sneak the short version past Alice. She always knew more of what's in my head than anyone ever. So I told her everything, starting with me leaving for college. I told her about Tanya coming out and moving in with me, about the drugs and helping her buy and use them, and about dropping Tanya off at rehab and moving here. She whistled when I was done, and said exactly what Jasper said. "Edward, why did you think you needed to hold this in? We could have helped if nothing else but to listen when you needed to talk, don't you ever shut me out of your life again, promise?"

I let out a dark chuckle and promised to include her from now on.

I could hear Jasper talking in the background, so I assumed Bella was stubborn and wouldn't let him come and get her.

"Is she okay, Alice?" My voice broke again, and I cleared my throat.

"Yes, Jasper is talking with her. She sounds calmer now, and she is almost here," Alice answered. I was so thankful for Jasper; he had a way of influencing people and swaying them to his point of view. Many times I have walked away from a conversation scratching my head trying to figure out how he got his way. I hoped Bella was not immune to him.

I heard Bella enter their house and she was sobbing again. I dropped my head and tears silently fell from my eyes to the floor below me.

"Alice, what do I do? How do I fix this? I can't lose her," I asked so softly I wasn't even sure she heard me.

"Edward, I don't know. Let me see how she is and I'll let you know. It will be fine Edward, it may take work, but it will be fine. Don't worry she'll be fine here. Let me send Jasper to be with you, okay?"

"No, Alice you both stay and take care of her, she needs you more. She needs Jasper, he has a way with her, let him stay. Take care of her, I need her."

"I know, Edward, I know. I'll call you later."

"Bye."

And she hung up.

I paced around the living room for a few minutes and decided to call Rosalie and Emmett. Maybe they would have an idea to help me.

I dialed Rosalie and waited.

"Edward, what the fuck? This better be good, it's late." Rose hissed at me.

"Rosalie, I've fucked things up with Bella. I need help." I said simply, she wouldn't need extra words and expressions.

'What happened?" She asked as she put me on speakerphone. I assume so Emmett could heard as well.

I went over everything that happened and waited for their answer.

"I'm going to have to kill that bitch one day, I see it coming, why didn't you just let me do it in the beginning and save us all a lot of trouble?" She asked.

"I regret that now, trust me, I regret it. How do I help Bella?"I asked again.

"Well that depends on where Bella's mind is at. She talked to us today about the whole denial thing; I can tell you that she's scared that Tanya has a hold on you that you can't break. She is afraid that she'll fall in love and then you'll run off with Tanya and hurt her. I can't blame her; she's scared that's all. Let me talk to her and see if I can come up with anything." Rosalie offered. "Here talk to your brother." I heard Emmett shuffle closer to the phone and then pick it up so we could talk, I guess in private.

"Ed, you ok?" Emmett asked with a serious tone that he didn't often use. He called me by the nickname he gave me when he first came to Carlisle and Esme's. I hated it but he only used it now when something was serious, and it had become special to me.

I started crying, unashamed for him to hear me. "Em what am I going to do? I can't lose her, it's Bella. She's perfect, and I will never find another like her again. I need her." I sobbed and he just listened.

"Edward, we'll find a way to fix this. I don't know how but you know we are all here and there is no way she is getting away from all of us. I will run her down; it won't be hard; you know she can't run at all, man." He chuckled and I did as well. I appreciated his ability to lighten the mood.

We talked for a few more minutes and I let him go. I love my family for so many reasons, and this was the biggest. They dropped anything for you when you needed them.

I walked over to the couch and laid down, I knew there was no way I was going to sleep upstairs without Bella, so I settled for what we had, a couch.

Jasper called me back, I was anxious to hear about Bella.

"Dude, is she okay?" I asked nervously.

"She'll be fine; she's calm again. She and Alice are sleeping in the guest room. I think she feels so much for you already and she's scared that all those feelings will be for nothing if you run off with what's her face. I think it's time for you to spill the whole story about Tanya and tell her the ugly parts. She'll feel better knowing that you have a good reason for not wanting to ever be with Tanya and that your relationship with her is not just a whim. Give her some time and then call her and tell her you need to talk with her, explain it all. I'm not saying you need to admit something you didn't do, don't do that. Just concentrate on what happened at college and make her understand that even if Tanya did call you that you don't want anything to do with her. It's cathartic to come clean. So try to rest, it may help you make sense of it all as well, and call Bella in the morning."

"I will, Jaz. Thanks for taking care of her."

"Any time, man, anytime."

I wandered around the living room, and then went upstairs and sat in the doorway of Bella's room. I just looked at all the stuff in her room and wondered at the meaning or memories behind a few of a few things she had. I drifted back downstairs and lay out on the couch again. I waited for Alice to call me so I would know that Bella was up and I could call her.

I called several time and she didn't answer. I didn't leave a message I figured that she wasn't ready to talk to me yet. I waited and called again, I knew she was probably at lunch with Esme. I left her a message this time.

"Bella, please, I'm so sorry I reacted poorly and I don't know what to say. Please give me a chance to show you that I will never lie to you, I swear. I need you to know that you are more important to me, Bella, than anything or anyone. I mean it. Please call me and let me know you are ok. Please, call me, love. I need to talk to you, just to know that you are fine. I know you need time; I will give you that as long as you want. I just need to know you are okay. "

I sat on the couch and waited for her to call me, the seconds seemed to take forever. She called at 12:49 p.m., after her lunch was done I guessed.

I picked up on the first ring.

"Bella, love, you okay?" I asked, my voice sounded like a chain smoking lounge singer, dry and scratchy.

"I'm fine, Edward. I spent the night with Alice and Jasper, and I just finished lunch with Esme. You sound terrible, are you okay?" She sounded tired and weary. I wanted to pull her into my arms and let her sleep until she felt better. I had to get her home with me.

"If I say no, will you come home to me?" I answered with what came to my mind.

"No."

"I figured. I don't know what to say, Bella. I need you to believe me that I had nothing to do with the phone, and I don't ever want to talk to or see Tanya again. That is the truth, I don't know what happened with the phone, I do believe that you saw the call, but I promise that I didn't do anything to erase the numbers. So we're right back at the starting point. Only you can decide, but Bella, know this. I have never been as happy as I have with you the past three days. I don't know where this is going, but I really want to find out. Bella, I need you." My voice wasn't the strongest and it broke on the last line, I hoped she didn't think of me as weak; I only wanted her to see how much I needed her.

"I have to call Rosalie and then I'll be home," she whispered.

"I will wait for you." I would wait as long as I had to, just to hold her again. I would spend every day showing her that she is the most important thing to me now.

"Thanks." She hung up.

"You are my life now." I knew she didn't hear it, but I needed to say it anyway.