Chapter 25- Hands To Heaven

Playlist:Hands to Heaven-Breathe, You're the Inspiration-Chicago, The Colour of my Love-Celine Dion, Falling Slowly-this has been done by several artists but I happen to love the version by Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze (American Idol), Here Without You (iTunes Original Version, his voice sounds so much clearer on this version) 3 Door Down, If I Ain't Got You-Alicia Keyes, Missing You- Allison Krauss & John Waites

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Chapter 25- Hands to Heaven

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room

There's so much tenderness in your loving

Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve

God give me strength when I am leaving…

So raise your hands to heaven and pray

That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress

Hold me in the darkness

Tonight, you calm my restlessness

You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face

I whisper words of love, so softly

I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane

Without your touch, life will be lonely

Morning has come another day

I must pack my bags and say goodbye

Breathe- Hands to Heaven

Bella's POV

I quickly change for Jacob's cookout. I really didn't want to go, I would rather spend all day here in our bed with Edward. I'm so selfish but I don't want to have to share him.

Edward walks in as I'm running around the room in only my bra and panties. His body is instantly against mine. He caresses my hip, slowly running his nose across my shoulder.

I want to cry at this sadness that has settled across the room. I can see his bag sitting on the floor, waiting for him to get up, get dressed and walk out for two weeks. I promised myself that we will never be apart as soon he can get his residency schedule settled. I will go with him if he has to go away again.

I close my eyes and picture the wedding, the babies, the future us. I want it all, and for the first time in my life I know that I can do the whole marriage thing. I am "that girl" after all. Being with Edward has made me want all of those things. I knew that Edward was "that guy", and it makes me happy to know that I can be here with him now. He has changed me, changed my mind, and changed my heart. I will never again complain about my life, because I know without a doubt that it has all lead me here. With him.

A tear escapes my eye just as Edward looks up at me. His hand is on my face, his thumb wiping away the tear.

"Baby, don't please. I can't take it if you do. I swear I will never be able to walk out that door if I see you like this." The pain and anguish in his voice, and his face contorted, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. I can only nod at him. I don't trust my voice to speak without breaking and belying my inner thoughts.

"What are you going to wear to Jacob's? Because as much as I love this outfit," his hand waves up and down my body as he speaks, "I don't want everyone else to see it on you." He chuckles as he kisses my temple.

"Alice laid it out on my bed, will you go and grab it for me? I will run in and fix my makeup." He nods and leaves the room.

When Edward comes back in with my sundress, I'm back to normal. All my sad thoughts were pushed down and happy ones had float to the surface.

"So, do you care to tell me what the hell you and Alice are up to?" My suspicions are confirmed when his eyes widen slightly as I ask this.

"What makes you think that we are up to anything?" He glances down at me through his lashes, normally a look that would cause my bones to melt. This time I'm sure that he is using it to distract me.

"Several things, you're attached to the phone with either your sister or Jacob. You're speaking in code, and don't act dumb. You are so speaking in code around me." I hold up my hand as he begins to speak. "Besides, your face gave it all away when I asked. So, unless you want bloodshed before you leave, spill it, now!" I plant my hands on my hips and wait for his reply.

"Fine. When I went to check on Jacob, it was because he called me freaking out over the fact that he likes his nurse, Nessie. I went to talk to him yesterday. He looked like he was head over heels in love. He was a little embarrassed because not too long ago he was freaking out over you. So, naturally, he was confused as to what to do. I told him that I would put Alice on it. You know how freaky she is about stuff like this. She has magic that David Copperfield envies. So, I called Alice and clued her in on what was going on. I asked her to help Jacob put on this whole cookout and work behind the scenes to find out if Nessie likes Jacob as well." He shrugged, trying to explain his actions.

I was standing there in shock. I guess Edward misunderstood my shock.

"Angel, hold on. I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't thinking," he stuttered as he quickly walked towards me, "I just thought that you would want Jacob to have what we have. To see him hap…"

I stopped him when I put my lips on his and gave him a kiss of thank you. Wow, a hot kiss of thanks! He really knows what he is doing. I broke it off when I ran out of breath.

"Don't you dare apologize, that has to be the sweetest thing I have heard in like, ever!" I leaned up and kissed him again.

"Really?" Edward sputtered when I let his lips free again.

"Yes, really. I want this for Jacob. I want this for everyone I know. I have never been so happy and I want everyone in the world to feel this. Thank you for being so kind to Jacob. I love you for it, even more than you will ever know."

"Anything for you, baby. Besides, I do have a small amount of self interest in this move." He looked kind of sheepish. I leaned back and feigned shock. "Well, if Jacob is busy chasing after Nessie, he won't be bothering us." He leaned in and kissed my shoulder.

My heart melted, his love and slight jealousy warmed my heart.

Just then Alice banged on our bedroom door.

"Get your clothes on and get your asses out here. I have worked hard for this and I can't wait to party it up." Alice yelled at us through the closed door. She could so annoying sometimes.

I sighed and pushed off of Edward's chest. I slid my feet into my sandals and grabbed my handbag. I was as ready as I would ever be. I glanced over at Edward. His sad eyes were back, just for a second before he blinked and they were replaced with his fake happy eyes. I knew these next two weeks apart were going to be just as hard on him as they were on me.

We all rode over to Jacob's together in Esme's Suburban. Chatter was jovial; everyone was ready to celebrate. It was warm, perfect weather for the cookout. According to Alice we all looked great. I had no doubt that if we met her approval then we must look pretty good.

Jasper drove, and Alice sat shotgun with her man. Carlisle and Esme sat in the first of the large bench seats located in the back. Edward and I sat in the middle, while Emmett and Rosalie sat all the way in the back seat. Carlisle and Edward chatted quietly. Carlisle turned to face our seat and Edward leaned forward. Jasper concentrated on driving. Esme and Alice chatted about a new office complex that had hired Esme to decorate their lobby and executive offices. Emmett and Rosalie were making out in the back seat.

All around me activity happened. I sat and concentrated on the small amount of skin that Edward was touching on my hand. His thumb caressing it as he spoke; I'm not even sure that he was aware that he was doing it.

I caught Jasper's eye in the rearview and he winked at me. I smiled; my life is so full of joy at this moment but yet at the same time, so full of pain.

We pull up at Jacob's, and unload like a bus full of elementary kids on a field trip. The chatting continues up the elevator and into Jacob's foyer.

I hung back, I was afraid it would be hard to see my previous home. I think the swing of emotions today made each one feel epic. I wanted so much to simply enjoy this day, to enjoy Edward and my family.

Jacob greeted us in his wheelchair, introducing all of us to Nessie. I flushed when he saved me for last. I was nervous to get to know her, especially knowing that Jacob had feelings for her. I felt stupid for having these thoughts. But…Jacob was important to me, and she was potentially the woman who would be in his life forever. I wanted to make a good impression, and I wanted so badly to know what he told her about us. How much he had revealed to her, how much I had to reveal.

Everyone had drifted into the living room and out onto the balcony. Jacob, Nessie and I remained in the entry.

"Bella, Jacob has told me so much about you. I feel like we are best friends already." I blanched at how weird this situation would be to outsiders, then shrugged it off. I wanted more than anything to connect with Nessie and make life easier for Jacob and me. "I'm so sorry, I'm so forward. I assume everyone is like me and wants to know every thought in my head. I apologize. I'm uh… going to go and check on the rest of the guests." She turned to Jacob to speak directly to him. "You'll need to take your medications in about an hour. I think it would be best if you eat first. I think that will solve the nausea problem. Okay?" Jacob nodded at her and she left us in the foyer alone. I could see Jacob watch her as she walked away. His eyes were certainly filled with anything but lust. He was looking deeper than the surface on this girl. I cleared my throat to draw his attention back to me.

"So, I hear that you're on the hunt." I giggled at him.

"I knew better than to trust Edward with that deep dark secret," Jacob spat, looking around for Edward.

"No, Jacob. It wasn't him, well it was but I didn't know what he was up to when I asked him. I was kind of worried about what he was doing, so I pressured him to tell me what was going on. So, don't be angry with him. He tried his best to keep it from me."

"Well, at least he tried. I know how hard it is to resist your puppy dog eyes." His snort died mid sound. Jacob and I both were shocked into an awkward silence.

"Sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to bring that up. I swear I'm over it, us. I really do have feelings for Nessie. That's why I called Edward. I was so damn afraid when I had only known her for a few hours and I could already picture our life together. Marriage, kids, picket fence, dogs, and everything. I was afraid that it was some sort of reaction to the surgery, medications or something. Do you like her?" Jacob questioned.

"I really do, of course I don't know her that well, but so far she looks like she can keep you in line. That is a feat she needs a medal for alone. And for what it's worth, she looks like she is head over heels for you as well." We both glanced up and caught Nessie gazing over at Jacob. She flushed and turned at something Alice said to her.

"I know, that's what scares the hell out of me. I'm at the lowest point in my life and here she is. What kind of man can I be for her when I can't get out there and work? Or, hell, even take out my own damn garbage?" I recognized the frustration in Jacob's voice. I squatted down to look him in his eyes.

"She likes you, not your work ethic, and certainly not your garbage skills. If you two can learn to like each other during difficult times, you certainly can manage the easy times. You'll be one step ahead of all the other couples out there." I fake punched his shoulder. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled.

"I guess you do have a point. I never thought of that." He glanced back in the general direction of where Nessie was standing again.

"Trust me, I know from experience." I tried to giggle but the playfulness was gone.

"I heard he has to leave again tomorrow morning, two weeks huh?" I just nodded.

"At least you know he is going because he has to, not that he wants to be away from you. He is in deep for you, Bella, don't doubt that." I nodded again. My emotions again so close to the surface. The more we talked about it the harder it was getting to hold back the tears.

"It feels good to have you back, Jacob. I missed my friend. Don't pull anything really stupid again, you promise?" He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender.

We drifted back into the living area with all of the others, and soon after Alice called us to eat.

Several times during the day I caught Nessie and Jake looking at each other. Giving each other those looks that say I'm into you, when you don't think anyone else is looking.

I was watching them again, when Edward walked up and dropped his chin on my shoulder. "They look great together don't they?"

"Yep." I simply answered popping the 'p' as I did.

Edward turned me to face him. "Are you okay being here and all?"

"You know, I really am. It feels totally different to me now. Almost like Jacob and I didn't even happen." Edward searched my face and nodded after a second.

I turned and placed my back against Edward's chest, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. We both laughed loudly at Emmett when he challenged Jacob to an arm wrestling match. Rosalie and Nessie were both protesting loudly against the match.

The afternoon sun drifted lower. We sat talking about various things at the patio table, enjoying the warmth. Nessie had continued to sit closer and closer to Jacob as the afternoon progressed. If we stayed any longer, she would be in his lap. It was nice to say she fit in with our group. Very well. She had put Emmett in his place twice, and she knew several facts on Jasper's beloved civil war trivia. I think it was safe to say she had passed her initiation.

Esme stood and began to collect the glasses that littered the table. "As much as I hate to break up all of the fun, several of us have extremely early mornings ahead of us." With that one sentence she sucked the fun out of our gathering. The evening suddenly became chilly and damp feeling. We all stood to leave, taking our turns to say goodbye to Jacob and Nessie.

We girls exchanged numbers with Nessie and promised that the guys would come over to 'babysit' Jacob so we could go out one night this week. She agreed readily and so did Jacob.

I leaned down to kiss Jacob's cheek, and whispered to him, "You had better hang on to her. I think she may even be better for you than your last girlfriend." Jacob loudly laughed and threw his head back.

"I will do my best, Bella, you can count on that."

Edward clapped him on the back and we left his apartment. I glanced back at the building as we entered the car again. My life certainly had changed in the few months since I lived here. I was happy with the changes.

By the time Carlisle and Esme dropped us off at our house, a hush had fallen over the group. Everyone chose to say good bye to Edward there in the driveway, and we all went our separate ways when we reached the top of the stairs.

I heard the door click behind Edward. I had already reached for the zipper of my dress. Edward's hands pushed mine away and continue to pull it down for me. I turned and began to unbutton his top few buttons on his shirt; I then pulled it over his head. I ran my hands down his exposed skin until I reached his pants. As his hands rested on my arms, lightly brushing up and down them, I pushed the button open of his jeans. I left them hanging open. The view was so sexy, shirtless Edward with his jeans hanging open to show off his dark trail of hair that disappeared into his boxer briefs. I could see the tip of his erection pushing against the underwear he wore. His thick shaft half covered by his jeans. My eyes trailed back up to meet his.

Edward pulled the straps of my sundress off of my shoulders. "You got some sun today, Bella." He lightly kissed my sun touched skin. I stepped out of the dress and dropped it in the chair closest to the bed. Edward knelt down to remove my sandals, and slid off his flip flops. We stepped towards the bed, holding hands, our eyes still connected. It was like we were afraid to let go of one another much less look away. We needed to stay connected in every way possible.

I unhooked my bra, slid it off and pushed my panties down when we reached the side of the bed. Edward pushed his pants and boxers down as well. We climbed into the bed together completely naked.

Edward patted the center of the bed and I shimmed over to the spot he indicated. When I was settled, Edward came to rest on me. His weight warmed me and felt right against my skin. His hands moved over my face and neck. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling. Edward nudged my cheek with his thumb.

"Don't close your eyes, baby, look at me. I want to see you." His silky voice made me want to close them again, just to center myself. But I held his gaze.

Edward placed a soft lingering kiss on my lips and then dipped his head and licked each nipple watching them as they pebbled up as the cool air hit them. His right hand closed over my breast as he licked my left nipple again, his eyes still locked with mine. He changed actions and licked my left nipple while squeezing and pinching the right again.

I gripped his forearms and watched as he took care of my body. I was never a shy one when it came to sex, but I had never taken the time to watch this before. Usually I had my eyes closed and just enjoyed the feelings. I think watching increased the sensations, watching Edward watch me definitely increased the sensations. It made it so much more intense.

He made his way back up to my mouth to kiss me again. The second our lips touched he plunged his tongue into my mouth. I loved the feel of Edward kissing me, it was so much more passionate then any kiss I had ever had before. His tongue danced against mine and pulled me further into his mouth. I moaned at the feel of his hands on me and his tongue in my mouth.

"Baby." Edward whispered, so softly.

He turned me on my side and kissed down my ribcage, across my hip and down my leg. When he reached my foot he turned me to the other side and kissed back up in the exact same manner. I was gently pushed down again to rest my back when he reached my neck. Edward climbed between my legs and pulled my knees up toward my chest. He slid up and placed the front of his legs directly against my ass and dropped his elbows down on either side of my head, creating a cage around me, trapping me under him. I loved the close contact his body had with mine. I could feel him all over my body, not one single spot felt left out.

His left hand twisted into my hair, while his right hand massaged my breast. His tongue was back on my lips, I quickly sucked it into my mouth. Our moans and gasps were still present but they were so muted tonight. Almost as if we were afraid to shatter the atmosphere around us with our noise.

Edward rocked his pelvis against mine, I felt his shaft slide between my wet lips and slide past my clit. The sensation shocked me and I pulled away from his mouth. Edward gazed down at me as I threw my head back unable to hold still under his expert touches. His slid his hips back quickly; and slowly slid past my clit once more, pausing to rock right across my clit several times. I couldn't hold back my moan. Edward placed his lips over mine and breathed in my sounds, keeping them between us, sharing it with me only, not the outside world.

He rolled us over and I settled on top of him. His hands splayed out and slid down my back, coming to rest on my backside. One hand slid down and played with my swollen lips. I tossed my head back, flicking my hair in true porn star style. Edward leaned up and began to suck on the tender skin right at the junction of my neck and collar bones. I rocked my hips against his and felt his cock slide against me again. He slid a finger inside my swollen pussy from behind, I gasped at the pleasure it brought me. Just from him sliding it into me. I moved my hand and traced his lips with my fingers, running them across his top and bottom lip. He reached out and sucked one of my fingers into his mouth. I moved it in time with his finger inside me.

Edward removed his finger and turned us again, adopting his cage-like position again. This time his fore arms rested on either side of my chest so he could reach my breasts. His mouth met mine and he slowly slid into me. We were no longer kissing but our lips stayed in contact. His eyes held mine. Each stroke was slow and deep. I felt his head rub against my inner walls as he pulled out each time. My body was lifted higher and higher with each stroke, the body and eye contact charging each movement. He leaned back slightly and pulled my knees closer to my body and pushed them down further into the bed. This new angle allowed him to press in all the right spots as he slid in and pulled out, doubling the intensity of his movements.

Once more I found myself flipped, this time I came to rest in Edward's lap. He bent his knees and sat almost crossed legged in the bed. I straddled his lap and wrapped my legs around him, he slid back inside me as I pulled myself closer with my legs. He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me to his chest, rubbing the outside of each breast at my ribcage. I slid up and down his hard cock, taking him in so deep. I felt my legs begin to quiver and tighten around him. My rhythm faltered and Edward took over, moving me up and down on him.

"I love you, baby. So much, only you from now on." Edward whispered against my mouth.

I slammed my mouth against his, his words pushed me right past the point of reality and into the midst of my orgasm. I moaned into him and he held it between us. Just him and I.

My body felt like silly string, no beginning and no end. I was just one big mass of unstable goo.

Edward pushed up into me again and I felt his cock twitch, his face went slack and his eyes rolled back into his head. The smallest of moans escaped his mouth, and I knew without a doubt that he was the most beautiful creature on earth, especially in the midst of an orgasm.

His arms and legs went slack; I twisted us so that we were lying face to face in bed again. Edward pulled me against his body and I nestled in as close as I could get.

"Bella, I love you." His voice sounded hesitant, and scared.

"I love you too, Edward." I rubbed my hand along his chest. I hoped that he would talk about whatever fear that he had inside. I knew it was childish, but I was twice as scared of whatever scared him. He had survived so much and was okay, so if this was big enough to scare him, it had to be epic in proportions.

"Bella, where do you see us in the future?" Fuck, this was epic. Every girl planned her life to a certain extent, but you realize as an adult that your childish fantasies were unrealistic in the real world. I had not had a chance to re-evaluate my fantasies to include Edward yet.

"Together, and that is honestly as far as I have gotten in this. I spent so much time planning and evaluating what Jacob and I had, that I decided not to do that with us. So, I have simply been living in the moment. Have you given it any thought?" I wanted to know his answer as much as I wanted my next breath.

"Yeah." That was it, just a simple yeah from him. He is seriously trying to kill me.

When I tried to push up and away from him, he tightened his grip on my back and began speaking.

"I think that, no, I know that I want to be with you. And don't get me wrong, I love what we have but I want more. I want you to have my name, my house, my children, my everything. I don't want you to freak out, I'm not proposing…yet. But that is a big yet. I feel so alive with you. You are the first person that gets me, and doesn't ask me to change. You let me be myself, and I love you for that. I don't want you to obsess over it, but please give our future some thought. I hope that when you do that you discover you have the same hopes and dreams that I do. " He glanced down at me and I pushed up to kiss him. Several small tears escaped my eyes.

I never was that kind of girl, the one that spent every waking moment planning my wedding, naming my kids and doing all of the things that would push me towards my goal of a husband and family. If you had asked me before I met Edward, I'm not even sure what my answer would have been. I know that I never seriously thought about marrying Jacob. I was perfectly content just living with him. But when Edward says those words I want them more than anything. I will be that kind of girl for him.

"Okay." Those were my eloquent words to Edward in regards to our future. I spent years reading, studying, and memorizing poetry. Only to have it fail me now and I simply went with 'okay'. It must have been enough because Edward kissed my temple and wiggled his shoulders a little to get more comfortable. Soon, I heard his deep breathing.

I slowly scooted up so that I could look at him. His face was relaxed, without a care in the world. I was happy that Edward was at peace with his life. I wanted his every wish to come true. He deserved it. I glanced at the clock and decided that I needed sleep as much as he did. I did have to work tomorrow as well.

Edward's alarm on his cell phone buzzed at 5:15 a.m. He slid out of my arms and quickly darted into the shower. He came back out later, showered, dressed and clean shaven. I slipped out of bed and slid on some yoga pants and a tank top. Edward grabbed his bag and we made our way downstairs.

The coffee maker was filled with hot coffee. I poured him a large car mug full and popped some cinnamon raisin bread into the toaster for him as well. With his mug full, and his toast done, Edward kissed me and walked out the door. No words were said between us. We didn't need any, we conveyed what we needed to say to each other last night, in the early morning hours.

I opened the fridge and pulled out the ingredients to make mushroom strata. I had this brand new, state of the art kitchen and we spent most of our time eating out. That was something I had planned to rectify, starting now.

I assembled the strata, popped it in the oven, refilled the coffee pot and headed up to take a shower.

I dressed quickly and fixed my hair. I rushed back down the steps to pull the strata out of the oven. Emmett was sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. He dropped the corner just like Charlie used to do when I came in.

"Hells Bells, is that you making this kitchen smell so damn good?"

"Yep, guilty as charged." I held up my hands like they used to make me do when we played cops and robbers on the playground in school.

Emmett gave a little snort that shook his body and flipped his newspaper back up.

I grabbed the mitts and pulled out a perfectly baked strata.

"Ta Da!" I spun it towards the breakfast bar and was met by Emmett and Jasper. It figures, men are always the first to show up when they smell food.

"Bella, how are you this fine morning?" Jasper asked.

"Well, apart from the sore as hell part, I'm good." I snickered, it was not often that I got to share that kind of information with these two. Jasper would be grossed out and not want to know. Emmett on the other hand would probably hold out his fist for me to bump. He would be damn proud to know that his brother had fucked me sore.

And right on cue, Emmett held out his fist and Jasper covered his ears. I bumped Em's fist and served them breakfast.

My cell rang, so I pulled it from the pocket of my skirt. I was not surprised to find that it was Edward, I didn't need his tell tale ring tone to inform me.

"Hey, baby, you doing okay?" I answered it.

"I'm doing fine, what about you?" Edward asked.

"I think that this is going to be a great day, I have already grossed out Jasper and got a fist bump from Em, so I call that a win, don't you? And, might I add that this was before I even served them breakfast, so double points for me." Maybe instead of fucked me sore, he had fucked me stupid. That had to be the explanation for my happy mood, when less than two hours ago Edward had walked out the door for two full weeks.

"Fine, I concede double points to you for today. I wanted to check in and make sure things were good." His voice changed at the mid-point of his sentence.

"Edward, you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine, maybe still riding my euphoric high a little, but fine none the less. You call or text me when you get there, and be safe." I said to him.

"I will, I love you."

"I love you too."

I tapped the button to clear the screen and slid my phone back into the pocket of my skirt. I dove into breakfast, I didn't have any time to waste. I still had to do my makeup.

I rushed into the office and dropped my things down on my desk. I barely made it on time. Talking with Alice and Rosalie is now on my list of things that I'm forbidden to do on weekday mornings.

Charlotte popped her head into my office and smiled at me. I knew that smile, she wanted my answer. "Good morning sunshine, and how was your weekend? Wait, don't tell me. Edward whisked you away somewhere and promptly proceeded to sex you up. Several times!"

"Why Charlotte, you must be a mind reader. How on earth did you know that? Your talent truly intrigues me." I said in my best fake southern belle accent.

"A little birdie told me about your plans this weekend. Did you have fun?"

"I had Edward in a hotel room all to myself, that is a stupid question, of course I had fun. Wait, is dirty sex supposed to be fun?" Charlotte lunged and swatted me with some papers she had in her hand. We both fell back into our seats laughing.

"I'm glad that you had a good weekend. How did this morning go?"

"We just exchanged a small kiss and off he went. He called me about half way there. He is supposed to call when he gets there. It should be anytime." And as if on cue my phone chimed to notify me of a new text message.

I tapped the screen and opened up the message.

B~

I'm here, I miss you already.

Don't know when I'll be done tonight, I'll call as soon as I can.

I love you, think about our future :)

Love always,

E~

So, I texted in return.

E~

I love you, I miss you already as well.

Call when you can.

I already am thinking about our future!

Love you back,

B~

I tapped my phone to clear the screen and laid it down on my desk. When I looked back up at Charlotte, she was examining my face. Closely.

"You have it so bad for that boy. Damn good thing he is a whole lot younger than I am, or you would have some competition." She sighed and held her paperwork close to her chest.

"He asked me to think about our future late last night or early this morning sometime." My lips tingled just thinking about our time spent in bed together.

"Wow that is a big request from a guy. What else did he say?" Charlotte's eyes lit up.

"That he loved me, thanked me for loving him for who he is and not trying to change him. And just to think about what I wanted in our future together." I sighed; bliss swept its way through my body again.

"Well, not to knock you off of your high, but did you think about my request? I have to give Eleazar the name this afternoon. I would like it to be you, Bella. You deserve this promotion; you have worked so hard the entire time you have worked for us. In fact, you have achieved several goals that most of the other Junior Editors have still not met yet. Your ideas are brilliant and I really like you. I think you would make a great senior editor." Her eyes pleaded with me but I had stronger reasons to say no to this particular trip.

"Charlotte, I love my job and I enjoy working for you. I won't lie and say that the position doesn't interest me, because it does. Really does, but…I can't take this particular trip. Edward will be gone for two weeks, and then I will rush off for three more. I would go crazy without him for that long. I just can't."

"Oh, Bella. I was hoping that you would say yes. I was praying that it would coincide with some dates that Edward will be in Seattle and you would be free to come along. What does Edward have to say about the trip?" I knew what line of reasoning she was going to try to work.

"He said that I had supported him and he would support me. He told me to go and I declined. I'm ready for my life to settle into this nice little routine. I want to be with him and him with me. No more interruptions. I just can't do this one. But please don't hesitate to ask me next time. I do want the promotion. I just can't be away for that long without Edward." I slapped my forehead. I had become a cliché, the girl that can't function without her significant other. I was still proud of myself; it had not made me weak. I could still hold my head up high.

"I understand. I don't like it but I understand it. Thanks for giving it some thought. I will be back when there is another spot open for you. And who knows, you may still do something to dazzle us and get that promotion after all." She winked at me and left my office.

I worked as quickly as possibly throughout the whole day. I didn't take the time to stop or breathe. I wanted to finish this day as quickly as I could. Five o'clock certainly surprised me when it got here. I packed up quickly and headed home.

Alice called me on the way home and told me that she and Rosalie brought Chinese food for us. Emmett and Jasper would be at the gym, so we could do a movie night. I declined. I only wanted a hot bath and bed. I did not get anywhere near enough sleep last night.

Alice of course snickered when I said this out loud to her.

Not a moment too soon, I was fed, bathed, and in bed. My phone had beeped earlier and Edward said his good night by text. He said he would be at the hospital all night. He was in charge of monitoring a patient that had surgery earlier in the day. I shot him a quick text in return and turned off the light. As I closed my eyes his beautiful face floated before my eyes. I felt like I could reach out and touch his slight scruff along his jaw line. I hoped he was the main focus of my dreams.