Chapter 26- Breathless

Playlist:Breathless-Better Than Ezra (I like the version that Taylor Swift did for Haiti telethon), Your Love Amazes Me- John Berry, I Can't Stop Loving You- Sam & Ruby(Seriously like go and check out these two, they are amazing), More Than Anyone(Stripped Version) Gavin Degraw, With You-Jessica Simpson, Got It Right-Keith Urban

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Chapter 26- Breathless

Fresh from your wars
Back from the edge of time
And all that you were
Stripped to the bone
I thought you'd want to know

When you feel the world is
Crashing all around your
Feet come running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless.
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now, running headlong into my arms
Breathless

Lay down your guns
Too weak to run
Nothing can harm you here
Your precious heart
Broken and scarred
Somehow you made it through

I only ask that you won't go again

So glad to see you smiling
So good to hear you laugh
I think that you found you even missed yourself
I'm only asking this cause I
Think that truth be told
Oh, you'll never go again

Better Than Ezra- Breathless

Bella's Pov

Edward's face flashed before my eyes. My subconscious knew deep down that this was a dream, but my body reacted just like he was here with me and actually touching me. The image my mind conjured up of him was exactly like he had looked this past weekend. His grey dress pants were hugging his hips, stretching across them just right. The blue of his shirt caused his eyes to sparkle, while his dress jacket hung across his shoulders. Edward had a way of looking good in everything he wore. Even a brown paper bag look sexy on Edward. Maybe it was because he wore his clothes with such ease, allowing his natural sexuality to come out and present itself.

I didn't know many women who could resist him. I even remember thinking that Mrs. Cope, our high school receptionist, had a thing for Edward. Her overly made up eyes would light up every time he made his way into the office to speak with her. She would bat her eyelashes at him and laugh a light, little giggle. I wanted to throw up at the thought of Edward and Mrs. Cope, but he thought it was funny that she acted so ridiculous. The man did not realize the daze he left in his wake amongst the female population of our school.

I only watched from the sidelines while Tanya made a big fuss over it. Edward laughed it off and tried to reassure Tanya that he only had eyes for her. I laughed to myself as I thought about how Edward and I ended up together after all of this time. I was the one person that Tanya focused on trying to keep as far away from Edward possible. Fast forward eight years and here we are together after all. Ha, eat shit, Tanya!

It was so easy to get lost in Edward's eyes and caught up in the way he makes my body feel. His hands were like pure magic, ghosting along my body. His skin created electric shocks to radiate along my limbs when he touched me.

I could remember the sensation from this past weekend as if it were occurring right now. Edward had held me close to his side during dinner. We hardly had space to eat properly, but you wouldn't find me complaining. I remembered how he had teased me as his pinkie finger slid under my corset top and caressed my hip at the super low waistband of my pants. The warm sensation combined with the wine had almost made me delirious with want. Amazing how such little contact could create the largest reactions. It was all in the anticipation of what was to come later. Perhaps Edward was aware of this demented sexual theory because he kept smirking when our eyes met.

We had managed to finish dinner without tearing each other's clothes off. Edward fed me chocolate cheesecake for desert with a sweet desert wine. That was my undoing. His eyes bore into me and I could feel him touching my soul as he watched me eat the luscious cheesecake. I actually blushed under his intense gaze.

Edward took my hand and led me back to the room after dinner. Neither of us talked, our bodies communicated everything we needed to say. Words would have simply not been enough.

When the door to our room closed, Edward pulled me against him. His rough hands were gently rubbing along the silky material of my top. He caressed it from the beginning of the material, his hands dangerously close to touching my breasts, all the way down the sides until he reached the hem. "Do you know what you do to me? Wearing this sexy top all evening, having no idea that I'm dying to touch you?" Edward panted; I could feel his breath skipping along my neck. He moaned from deep in his chest as he kissed my skin. His hands slowly slid down the front of my top this time and he stopped at the lower edge. Sliding his hands underneath the shirt and caressing the bare skin of my abdomen. The skin contact caused another moan from Edward.

"Come here, baby. Let me undress you." He pulled me further into the room and guided my body back onto the bed.

My body slowly came alive as his hands removed each item that I wore. He started with my jewelry. He removed my earrings, slowly sucking each earlobe into his mouth and panting directly over the wet skin. Then he kissed down the column of my neck until he reached my necklace. He gently lifted and pulled the necklace around to the front of my body and slipped the clasp away from my skin. His large hands stretched out and covered most of the exposed skin above my top. As he kissed my now empty neck, his hands slid down my arms and came to rest on my wrists. The left wrist was lifted and placed above my body on the bed. Then the right wrist was lifted. Edward stopped when he had it directly in front of his face. He removed the pearl bracelet, placed a small kiss onto the inside of my wrist. He moved lower to take my hand, slid the ring off of my middle finger and then kissed it gently, as well. He placed this arm on the bed along side of the other. Edward stood and placed all of my jewelry on the nightstand and came around to stand on the opposite side of the bed.

I tilted my head so that I could look up at Edward, as he was now standing above my head. He was removing his jacket. He slid it off and dropped it on the chair beside the desk. His arms and shoulders rippled with his movements and I thought of a sleek mountain lion; they both had such grace and elegance when they moved. Edward leaned over and kissed me on the mouth, my hands reached up to undo the buttons on his shirt. I wanted his bare chest before me, to feel it move against me. When his shirt was unbuttoned, he discarded it in the chair along with his suit jacket. He slipped his shoes off and bent over to remove his socks.

Edward stepped back around to my side of bed and placed himself in between my legs. Edward pulled each foot up to rest on his bare chest. He kissed each toe as he unfastened the strap on my shoes, and then repeated the action with the other foot. After my shoes were discarded, he placed my feet back on the ground, this time Edward was standing with his feet on the outside of each of mine.

I was mesmerized watching Edward pay homage to my body. He watched every movement I made, almost as if he were memorizing it, so he would have the image to call to mind while he was in Seattle.

His warm hand caressed the side of my chest as he eased the zipper of my top down my side. This particular shirt didn't need a bra, and I could feel my breasts slipping free of their confines as he pulled on the zipper. They certainly were begging for Edward's attention. This didn't escape his notice, he stopped to gently grab them and pay them some attention. I arched my back off of the bed and up into Edward's eager hands. I reached for the lower hem of my shirt and pulled it away from my body, leaving my chest exposed for Edward. He leaned down to nuzzle each breast as a moan escaped.

"Edward, I need you. Now," I panted.

He leaned back and immediately went to work on my pants. His strong hands pulled them down my legs and came right back for my underwear, sliding them away from my body just as quickly as he could.

"Damn, baby, you need to wear these again for me when I can appreciate them." He held up my lacy underwear and tossed them aside. His wicked smile was back. That was the smile that made me shiver in anticipation of what he had planned for me. I simply nodded at him.

When I was totally nude , I sat up and reached for the remaining clothing that he wore. I unbuckled his pants and allowed them to fall open along his hips. His skin called to me and I kissed every inch I could see exposed between his pants and his boxers. The small line of hair along his abdomen tickled my nose as I ran my tongue through it. Edward's hands came to rest on my shoulders, exerting just the smallest amount of pressure. My hands reached in to push his pants and boxers off at the same time. I ghosted them along his outer thighs and across his ass on the way back up to his chest.

Edward pulled me off of the bed and climbed into the middle. He sat cross legged and motioned for me to join him. I climbed across to him in the center of the bed and waited for his instructions. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled them towards his face. I raised my right leg and placed it on the far side of his leg as he pulled me down into his lap. His hands went directly to my hair, he smoothed it away from my face, pushing it over my shoulders and allowing it to flow down my back. He looked directly in my eyes and my heart was laid bare for him. It's like he could see into my soul, and I in turn could see into his as well. I felt inadequate. My head had formed a list of doubts about us. My soul stepped forward and pushed those doubts away, it knew that we were supposed to be at that exact place at that exact moment, together.

I rested my hands on Edward's shoulders as he gently lifted me and positioned me right where he wanted me. I felt his tip touch my body. His skin felt so warm and comforting to me. My head dropped back in anticipation of the pleasure that I knew was coming when our bodies joined. Edward slid me down his body until he was fully encased in me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me as close as our bodies could get to each other. I was able to look directly in his eyes as I rested my forehead against his. My feet were planted against the bed to provide leverage to move my body along Edward's. Very little movement occurred between the two of us. Our hands, arms, chests, and eyes stayed in the same position. They were all interlocked with each other, no desire to move at all. A slow steady rhythm, our bodies barely moved. But the intensity of the feelings provided the push we needed to make the climb towards release.

The next morning, the alarm sounded and I rose for another day. One down and 13 more to go. I showered and pulled my bra and underwear on. I never said anything to Edward but I planned to continue to send him the 'panty pictures' that he loved. After quickly snapping his picture, I sent it and rushed to get dressed.

Rosalie, Alice and Esme asked me to go to dinner with them after work. I was thankful for the distraction, as I didn't want to sit at home counting the hours until Edward came home. I knew that he was going to be super busy and I wanted to occupy my time as well. Besides, I needed some girl time to talk about the 'future' that Edward envisioned. I was scared that we were moving too fast, scared that we were swept up in the flood of strong emotions that occur at the beginning of a relationship. I wanted to talk this out with three of my best friends. I wanted their opinions. Actually it was more like I needed their opinions.

It seemed like some hours went by quickly, while others dragged. I had a hard time planning my day, I had my list of things I wanted to get done. Somehow at the end of the day, half of them were still left. I laid the list on top of my desk, grabbed the manuscript that I was editing and slid it into my bag. I grabbed my jeans and vest so I could change. I rushed into the bathroom, unzipped my skirt and slid my legs into my jeans. I fluffed my hair and slipped the vest over my white shirt. My shoes and jewelry still fit my outfit so I left the bathroom.

I was the last one to join the group. The guys were seated at the table as well. I was a little disappointed but tried to hide it. I wanted to talk about things and I knew that I couldn't with all of the guys there. Let's be honest, the saying 'Bro's before Ho's' was definitely true. And I don't know who said that guys don't gossip, because if I said a word tonight about our future, Edward would find out before I could even make it to my car in the parking lot.

"Well hello, girls!" I laughed. I couldn't pass the opportunity to at least get a dig in at the guys.

"My my, Bella. You are looking fine tonight. How did Edward like his panty picture today?" Emmett asked. I felt myself blush instantly and I knew that I should have known better than to allow Alice and Rosalie in on our panty picture secrets. They couldn't keep their mouths shut either. So, come to think of it I was totally screwed. No matter who I discussed this important topic with, Edward was going to find out.

"Hands off, Emmett, or I will have to tell my boyfriend that you made a pass at me. He won't like that at all; I can assure you of that. And who said you could discuss my panties in any form at all? I swear you can't trust a single Cullen family member! You all are the biggest bunch of gossips out there," I teased, looking from Rosalie to Alice.

They both threw their hands up in the air and proclaimed their innocence. "Don't look at us, you need to blame Eddie boy for this little reveal." My mouth dropped open in shock. I knew that he was close with Emmett and Jasper, but I didn't think he had revealed such intimate things to them. My face colored thinking of the other things he may have told them. I sat in my chair and pulled the menu open to block out my face. Everyone else took pity on me and scanned the menu as well.

After we ordered, we discussed our day. As Carlisle was telling us about a guy that came into the ER today with a crazy tale about how he injured his back while having sex on the toilet, my phone rang. I grabbed it quickly; I knew exactly who it was.

"Hello." I could hear the excitement in my voice.

"Hey love, how are you?" His voice sounded like heaven to my ears. I missed him far too much already.

"I'm good, you done for the day?"

He laughed a little at this comment. "Not even close, I just observed a surgery and now I am off to do rounds again. I have several patients that I need to check labs on and one that has to have his incision checked. So, no. I am nowhere near done here. I think it may be easier for me to run back to the hotel, shower and come right back. That way I can get some extra sleep here in the on call room. What about you, you in bed already?" I could hear the hopeful tone when he asked about me being in bed.

It was my turn to chuckle. I knew exactly what he was hoping for, it was not happening tonight. Especially after hearing that he shared my panty pictures with his brothers.

"No, I am at dinner with everyone." I held the phone out to the table. I spoke to everyone at the table. "Everyone, say hello to Edward." They all shouted out their greetings to him. I pulled the phone back to my ear.

"Tell them all hi for me, and tell Emmett that he is on restriction from texting me for at least three days. I got the stinky eye when I laughed out loud after reading his text. So, since I got in trouble he is as well." I turned to Emmett, grinning, and made a slashing motion across my throat. He must have known why he was in trouble because he slunk lower in his chair and turned red in the face.

I returned my focus back to Edward. "Was it a good surgery tonight?"

"Yeah, it was a new technique that they were trying to show us. It will help with patients that have had previous brain surgeries or that have lots of damage from injuries or accidents. It was interesting to watch. Tell Carlisle that I want to catch up with him tomorrow to talk about it. He can call me when he is free and we can chat about it. Enough about me, how are you? Did you have a good day at work?" I watched as everyone went on with their individual conversations, their voices lowered slightly to allow me to hear Edward. I appreciated their courtesy.

"Yeah, it was fine. I just felt so out of sorts, I couldn't manage my time very well. Some hours seemed to drag by and others seemed to fly. But it was good." I knew it was a lie and he knew it was a lie, but we both let it go. Silence hung between both of us. We had so much to say but most of it was simply, "I miss you."

My voice betrayed the sudden onslaught of grief that I felt; I wasn't sure how I would manage the whole two weeks. I felt so weak and powerless, unworthy of his love. I wasn't sure I was strong enough to be deserving of him, I couldn't even last two weeks without him. Each time I said goodbye to him it pulled a chunk of my heart away and left a big empty hole in its place. How had I gone from happy with Jacob to nothing to in over my head with Edward in such a short amount of time?

"Baby, don't. I'll be home soon. I love you more than anything and I can't wait to get back to you. I swear I will never allow anything to voluntarily take me away from you again. You will come with me next time, promise me. Please." He sounded so weak, and haggard. I was worried about how much he was eating and sleeping.

"You bet your ass I'm coming with you. Never again, promise me."

"Promise." His voice softened and my heart reacted to the sensual tone it gave off.

"And please promise me that you will eat and sleep as often as you can. I don't want you to come home tired and sick because you weren't taking care of yourself!" I tried to feign some anger in that sentence but I don't think that it came across correctly.

"But if I came home sick you could take care of me and we would spend a few days in bed together, I think that may benefit us both, so it sounds like being sick is a benefit not a hindrance. If you ask me, that is." Light and playful Edward was back.

"Well, since you put it that way, maybe you might be right. Just take care of yourself, okay?" I begged.

"Okay, I gotta go. Can I call you late tonight? It might be close to one or two?"

"You bet, sounds like a good time to have some phone sex." I snickered, really turned on at the thought of phone sex with Edward.

"Hmmmmm, why do you do this to me? I have to go and be in front of lots of people with a raging hard on! You don't play fair." My snicker turned into a full on laugh. "I love you, Angel. I'll talk to you tonight."

"I love you too." I replied as the family shouted their goodbyes to Edward as well.

We finished dinner and the guys beat a hasty retreat. They were whispering something about playing pool with a good beer, which we women wouldn't understand. We all waved them off and watched them go.

Our waiter brought out dessert and we all tucked in to have our girl talk.

"Okay, Bella, spill it. What is this big topic that we have to discuss? Which might I add that you have never called a 'Girl Talk Session' so it must be really big." Alice said as she picked off a huge bite of her cheesecake.

"K, well see the night before Edward left well…we were uh…you know, uhm, well laying in bed and he askedmewhatIsaw forusinthefutur e." I shoved a large bit of chocolate cake into my mouth to buy me some time before I had to answer the questions that they were sure to ask. Esme choked on her wine, Alice just started clapping and bouncing in her seat and Rosalie's mouth dropped open.

"Bella, Edward, our Edward, asked you what you wanted for your future? Did he mean like your future together, and if so what did you say?" Rosalie's eyes seemed almost ready to fall out of their sockets but she had managed to close her mouth.

"Well, I told him the truth." I shrugged.

"And what prey tell is your truth?" Esme questioned.

"That I didn't have it planned out. I spent so much time planning things when I was with Jake and look how well that worked out. So, this time I decided not to plan, just simply live in the moment. So, I don't have a 'future us' planned out yet." I shrugged and looked down to inspect my dessert.

"What did he say about that?" Alice burst in as soon as I finished my sentence.

"He seemed okay with it, he said that he understood that. He sort of felt that way all the way up until he got the call to go back to Seattle. And thinking about being away from me again made him think about it." I met Esme's eye across the table and I swear there were tears pooling in them. Her face lit up with happiness. She reached across and held my hand.

"So?"

"So…I want to think about it but I am too damn afraid of thinking about it and then it not happening. I mean, I don't know. Somehow it was so easy to make the decision to not be with Jake. Like I knew that I wasn't destined to end up with him. But with Edward it is different, so different on so many levels. I don't think that I could ever be okay if what we have ended. I just don't know how I would move on." I shook my head and looked around the eyes at the table. Each held a different emotion. "I am too afraid to let myself go there knowing that I won't make it back if we don't end up the way I dream about. Does that make any sense?" I hesitantly asked.

Esme cleared her throat before she spoke, "Bella, that is unfounded fear talking. I know that you were with Jake for a long time and you, at least at some point in that relationship, thought that you would end up with him for the rest of your life. But deep down your heart had to know that was not the truth or it would not have been so easy to move on without him. Granted, Edward came along very quickly and took up that part of your heart but still." I smiled remembering the feeling of seeing Edward again on the front porch that day. "Edward loves you, like really loves you. Look at all of the changes he has made so far. I can't think of a time when I have ever seen him so happy. From the moment he came to stay with Carlisle and me he was in pain, first from his parents' deaths, and then because he felt guilty for learning to love us while his parents were dead, he felt like he was betraying their memory. And of course you now know about all he went through during the never ending drama of being with Tanya. She always had him neck deep in something and he never had the chance to relax and just feel love. I think he is finally feeling that now. So, let go and imagine, plan, do, carry out. Show him that his progress was not for nothing. Show him your love and allow him to return all of his love. You won't regret it, I promise you won't." Esme squeezed my hand as a tear slid from her eye down her face. All I could do is nod at her.

"Is it too soon? I mean we haven't even been together for that long, are we moving too fast and just caught up in the emotions and not thinking clearly?" I twisted the fine linen napkin in my hands. I needed an outlet for my nervousness.

"Why would you think that, Bella?" Alice asked as she placed her hand on my arm.

I shrugged again, too afraid to say the words that I knew I should voice. "People will only think that I am with him for one reason. I mean look at him he's gorgeous, he's rich, and he going to be a doctor. They will assume all of the wrong things. It wasn't too long ago I was with Jacob, and to suddenly up and change my entire life, it looks wrong. I mean we all know that I had no idea that Edward was on his way here when I left Jake and moved in here. But they don't, and trust me they talk. Besides, can I really be good at this stuff? Look at the examples that I had, for crying out loud." I realized that my voice had gradually gotten louder and I had begun to wave my hands around like a mad woman. I dropped them back to my lap and pulled the napkin down with them. "Charlie and Renee were great parents but not the greatest role models for a lifetime of happily ever after. Charlie never moved on and Renee moved on every chance she got. I don't want to spend my life making either of their mistakes." I shuttered and drew in a deep breath. The occupants of the table had settled a little closer, almost as if they knew that this last sentence was going to be the hardest to say. "I don't know if I can trust myself. I do love Edward and I am so happy with him, but I was happy with Jake in the beginning as well." The tears had begun to fall in earnest now.

Esme and Alice clutched me from either side as Rosalie held my hand from across the table.

"Bella, you can't worry about the mistakes of your father and mother. Or your past mistakes either. You can only admit them, and then learn and move on. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. None of us are perfect, neither is Edward. He doesn't expect you to be." The tears continued to fall but I nodded against Esme's chest.

"Bella, other than Jasper, Edward is probably my best friend. I know all about the kinds of shit that Tanya put him through and how he dealt with it. Now, I realize that he has matured and grown a lot, he is no longer an immature teenager. But I never saw him have any of the reactions or deep emotions, or even the happiness that you bring out in Edward on a daily basis, when he and Tanya were together. Nothing is guaranteed, but if you don't take a chance on love you will certainly never find it. With risk there can be disappointment, but there can also be a great amount of reward. By not taking any chances in life, that would be repeating Charlie's mistake." Her words made sense and helped to easy my mind some. I still had plenty to decide but I knew that I could. In fact, I wanted to. I wanted the peace of knowing that Edward and I were on the same page in our own fairytale. I read it somewhere that the greatest love story is your own. My mind agreed with that. I just had to allow myself to see what I wanted for my own happy ever after.

I rushed home and got ready for bed as quickly as I could. I knew that Edward would not be calling me for a few hours but I wanted to be prepared just in case. I had already edited half of the manuscript that I had brought home from work when Edward called at about ten minutes before two.

"Angel, I am so sorry that I am so late. I got tied up again. Were you asleep?" His voice was no louder than a whisper.

"No, I promised Charlotte that I would have this manuscript finished by Friday so I was awake. You sound dead on your feet. Are you okay?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, I don't have to be in until two tomorrow, so I can sleep in. That will be like a mini vacation, I can assure you of that. I have been up by five in the morning at least the last three days. I can't wait. How was dinner?"

"Very informative, I can assure you of that." I tried to be subtle, I don't know why Edward always saw through me.

"Girl talk huh?"

"Well I think that you'll like the results. They helped a lot. The always do. I don't know what I would do without you or your family, Edward. I love them all so much."

"Whoa, you talk like you're going somewhere. You won't have to find out." His statement wasn't mean but it was forceful. "Bella are you happy?" He asked suddenly very pensive.

"Edward, of course I'm happy. I can't remember ever being happier, ever. Are you?"

"Yes, so happy. I was just worried that all of the baggage that we have already had to go through and then this separation would be too much for you. That perhaps you were having second thoughts about us. I just need to know how or what you're feeling, a little reassurance that you're okay. I love you so much and I just want you to be okay." He made a sound that wasn't quite a chuckle but not a sob either. "I'm sorry, I'm probably just a little sleep deprived and it plays tricks on your mind until you get used to it again. Just ignore my ramblings." He chuckled, it sounded normal this time.

I took a deep breath, I guess now was as good a time as any to share with Edward what I was feeling, especially since he seemed to need to hear it as much as I needed to say it. "Actually now is probably a good time for me to get this all out. After breaking things off with Jake, I felt a little lost. I was so worried when you and I started to feel the attraction to each other; I was worried that it was a rebound thing. I debated about it in my mind. But I have realized that when you left for Seattle that I was better with you than I was without you. I never felt like that when Jake went away for business, and there were times when he would go for a month or so. So, I know that the time frame had nothing to do with it. I need you, I love you and I can say that a future with you doesn't scare me. Alice said that if I didn't let my heart have the freedom to find love that I was certainly never going to have it. I can't repeat Charlie's mistake. I just can't. So, yes I am more than okay, Edward." I was giddy by the end of my speech, so happy to be able to tell him that I wanted him and his future.

"Baby, I'm so glad to hear that. And for the record, I'm just as overwhelmed as you are about this. I never expected to fall in love with anyone when I came back home, not to mention how hard and fast I have fallen for you. But I can't stay away from you, I have to be with you. My heart says so. The love I have for you feels so good and so right, I know that it was meant to be. I love you more than you will ever know."

My eyes were once again filled with tears at our declarations to each other.

"I love you too, so very very much, and I feel all of those things that you do too. Now go and get some rest before you fall over. Why don't you call me tomorrow when you wake up, that sound good?" I could hear the noise of the city faintly in the back ground of his phone.

"Sounds good to me, I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

The phone line went silent and I laid it down on my nightstand. I turned to snuggle into Edward's pillow and breathed him in. I tried to focus on the smell so I could dream more of yummy sexy Edward.