Chapter 12- Wait For Me

Playlist:Wait for Me-Theory of a Deadman, Can't Get You Off of My Mind-Lenny Kravitz, Here Without You(the live version is really good)-3 Doors Down, Because You Love Me-JoDee Messina(My husband flirted with her one time when we saw her at a small club, she still rocks!), When You Love Someone-Bryan Adams, Hope For Me Yet-Marc Broussard(Thanks Mrs. TheKing for the tip on Marc here, he is so sexy to listen to, luv ya!)

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You are not alone tonight, Imagine me there by your side

It's so hard to be here so far away, From you

I'm counting the days till, I'm finally done

I'm counting them down, Yeah one by one

It feels like forever till I return to you

But it helps me on those lonely nights

It's that one thing that keeps me alive

Knowing that you'll wait for me, Ever so patiently

Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and

It's everything I need from you just knowing that you'll wait for me

What I'd give, What I'd do, Knowing I'm not there for you

Makes it so hard to leave, What I'd give, What I'd do

Anything to get me home to you, And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me, Ever so patiently

Theory of a Deadman-Wait for Me

Chapter 12- Wait for Me

Edward's POV

We spent three wonderful days at the cabin, being men and enjoying the outdoors. We hiked, built fires and all other sorts of things that men do. I enjoyed being with my brothers and father, but I was ready to move on to the next part of this separation from Bella.

Carlisle and I sat down and spoke in detail about what was going to happen next. I would drive out to Seattle and meet with Dr. Anthony Ward. I was to stay with him at his house, and after a few days he would take me over to Seattle Memorial Hospital. I needed to meet with Dr. Johnston, the Chief of Staff. He would let me know if, when, or how I could start the Resident's program they had available. I needed to figure this out. The Resident's program in Seattle was a three hour drive from my house in Forks. I needed to be able to tell Bella exactly what my plans were when I got back to her. I didn't want any more surprises and secrets between us.

I was sorry to see Jasper and Emmett pull off in their rental car that would take them back home and to the family. I sent another note to Bella, not as mushy as the last one but one that told her a few things I loved about her and why I was thankful that she was in my life.

Carlisle and I climbed into his Hummer and made our way to Seattle. I was nervous and the closer we got to the city, the more it overtook me. I didn't want to fuck this up and come back without a resolution. I wanted to be whole for Bella, to ensure that we had a fair chance to make our relationship work.

We arrived at Dr. Ward's house a little after seven in the evening. Carlisle knocked on the door and we were quickly ushered in. Introductions were made, we were shown to our rooms and we settled in.

I left my room and found Dr. Ward and Carlisle talking in the study. Carlisle was filling him in on my plans for Seattle Memorial; I stepped into the room and Dr. Ward waved his hand towards the seat beside Carlisle, so I took it.

We talked for a while about nothing and I listened to medical school stories from Carlisle and Dr. Ward. I enjoyed his stories and he put me at ease with his laid back manner. I knew that I could trust him to tell him all that happened and know that he would guide me through therapy without any problems. Maybe that was his intent for tonight, us learning to trust each other. As comfortable as I was with Dr. Ward, I was happy that Carlisle stayed with me.

When I went up to bed, I was sure that Bella was already in bed, so I sent her a text instead of calling. I wanted her to know that we had arrived and that I was thinking about her. I had to let her know that I missed her terribly and would call her tomorrow. I'm sure she had plenty of stories about her shopping trip, and I wanted to see if she was nervous about her first day at work. I wanted to let her get her feelings out and comfort her even if I couldn't be there for her in person. I was glad that Alice & Jasper would be moving in right away as well as Emmett & Rosalie. She would need all four of them to help keep her company. I needed Jasper and Emmett to help her as much as she would need Alice and Rosalie. Jasper had some fucking awesome advice and he looked at things from a different perspective than any of the rest of us, and Emmett, he was great at providing some comic relief. He lightened the mood and kept it from getting too serious; he was pure genius at times.

B-

Sorry it's so late,

Call me when u get up so

We can talk abt ur shopping trip

I wanna hear what u got!

Miss and Love U!

E-

I laid the phone down on the nightstand and turned over, ready to close my eyes and try for some sleep. I heard the phone buzz, my heart leapt into the air, maybe she was still awake and I could talk to her. I grabbed the phone and flipped it open.

E-

Im awake now,

Can't sleep w/o u!

How r u?

B-

I exited out of the message and called her. I wanted to hear her voice right now; I couldn't wait until tomorrow morning. I would only talk for a few minutes if she was tired, but I had to hear her. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hello." Her voice sounded like sunshine and warmed me immediately.

"Baby, I miss you so much. How are you?" I tried not to sound too needy and alone. I don't know if I succeeded.

"I'm tired but I'm glad you called. I was so worried that you would wait until tomorrow morning like your text said. I wanted to hear your voice tonight before I went to sleep, maybe that would make me dream of you." I could hear the hesitation in her voice. Was she tired, sad or irritated that I was gone? As weird as it sounds, I was hoping for sad. Sad meant that she really cared for me and missed me.

"Why didn't you call me? You can call me at anytime. I needed to hear your voice as well; I don't think that I could wait until tomorrow knowing that you were awake. If you're tired, we'll only talk for a few minutes." I could hear the rustling of fabric and closed my eyes picturing her in bed wearing her nightshirt. I loved the way it slid up to her hips when she laid down and showed part of her sexy underwear.

"No, I'm fine. I can talk as long as you want. Besides tomorrow is Sunday so I can sleep as long as I want. So don't worry about how long we talk, I just need you now." I could hear her voice falter and wished that I was with her to hold her close and say something inappropriate to make her laugh.

"How was your shopping trip? Did you get lots of runway ready clothes for work?" I quoted Alice, knowing she would find this funny.

"Well, I did find lots of stuff, but how runway appropriate they are, who knows. I bought what I liked; I must not have been too far off of the mark since Alice only vetoed one shirt and it was a band t-shirt that wasn't even for work. I did buy lots of lingerie to wear for you when you get home, so hurry home. Alice said we can take pictures and send you one a day, you know kind of like a panty of the day club." She snickered but I loved the idea, God bless my sister.

"I love that idea; send me one starting tomorrow morning. That way I'll know what you're wearing under your clothes and then send me one each day when you are totally dressed so I will know how hot you look going off to work, my beautiful working girl." I was so turned on thinking about her panty pictures. Was it cool to use them as my wallpaper for my phone? Probably no, so I guess that file would be for my eyes only.

She giggled and let out this girlie snort, I heard rustling again, which reminded me that she was in bed.

"Bella, are you in your bed?"

"Not in my bed," she replied and paused, she just left me hanging there.

"Where are you if you are not in your bed. It's all kinds of late." I was intrigued as to where my girl was at this time of the night. I hated to think of her alone in the house all night.

"I'm in your bed, silly. You told me to come in here and sleep when I needed to smell you. So that's where I am." She sounded embarrassed to admit to me that little piece of truth.

"What are you wearing?" My voice taking on that deep husky tone that I knew drove her crazy.

"Well, your t-shirt and some boy shorts, black ones," she purred back at me.

"Which t-shirt are you wearing?" Why that was important who knows but I needed to know.

"The black one that says 'No one in my city has swagger like me', I hope none of you skanky ex-girlfriends gave you that t-shirt, if so you had better lie to me about it," she growled at me; how could I let her down? I loved the sound of possessive Bella.

"Nope, Emmett bought me that shirt for my birthday a couple of years ago; I love that shirt, and it feels so soft. But you had better keep that between me and you, if Jasper or Emmett gets a hold of that shit, I will never hear the end of it. So let's let that be our little secret, besides now I love it because you have worn it." Great, I can feel my ovaries sprouting, when did I turn into such a girl? Guess love does that to you without your knowledge.

She giggled and I could listen to it for hours alone.

"Mmmmmm, Bella, God, the things I would do if I was there with you. I miss you so much." I could hear the desperation in my voice, and I hoped that she wouldn't get worried or sad hearing me talk this way.

"Edward, it's only for a short time, we'll be fine. Besides you can take me away when you are a rich and famous doctor. You can be my 'Sugar Daddy' while I write my book. Life will be good for us." She was joking but I would take care of her for the rest of her life if I could. It made my heart swell to hear her talking about us in future terms like that.

"Bella, I will take real good care of you, I promise, anything you want is yours." I heard her yawn, and trying to cover it so I wouldn't know that she was getting tired.

"So, Edward, what are your plans for tomorrow?" She tried, again, unsuccessfully to cover up her yawn noises.

"I don't know yet; I'll figure that out tomorrow. I don't know if Carlisle is going to stay or head home yet. I need to let you go so you can get some sleep. Are you on the right or left side of the bed?" I asked her.

"I'm on the left side, why?"

"Take the dark brown pillow and snuggle with that, that one is my favorite. By the way, the left side is my side of the bed, so don't get used to sleeping on that side," I teased her, hoping to lighten the mood before we said goodbye.

"You're going to let me sleep closest to the door of the room? What if an axe murderer breaks in, he'll get to me first! Don't you feel any level of protection towards me? You need to sleep on the right and I sleep on the left closest to the bathroom," she reasoned, not a good reason but one that she gave anyway.

"Bella, don't be silly. If an axe murderer breaks in, he'll get to Emmett and Rosalie's room first. Theirs is the first one you come to at the top of the stairs, so don't worry. We'll hear him trying to kill Emmett first and be able to run for it before he gets to our room. So no dice, nice try, though. Sleep there until I get back and then we'll revisit this conversation again. Maybe you could persuade me to change my mind." I hoped she picked up on the double meaning to that statement.

"Whatever, you creep; you don't care that sleeping on the right side will get me killed first but if I give you good sex, you'll change your mind? See if that gets you anywhere?" she argued right back.

"I love you. Sleep tight, love," I said barely above a whisper, I didn't trust my voice to not waiver at any level of volume above that.

"I love you, too. I'll send you my first panty picture tomorrow morning; don't let anyone see it, promise?"

"I promise," I answered. There was no way in hell anyone but me was seeing Bella in her panties. But she didn't need to know that I turned into a possessive fool for her yet.

"Night," she whispered.

"Night," I returned, and I heard the line go dead.

I laid the phone down and turned over to get some sleep, hoping that Bella in my t shirt, in my bed would be the star of my dreams.

She was.

I was walking Carlisle out to his car to say goodbye when I felt my phone vibrate. He must have heard it as well because he looked at me and then down to my pocket. I gave a small shrug and then turned to hug him, a one armed man hug. He turned to Dr. Ward, and they exchanged their goodbyes. He climbed into his Hummer and I waved to him. He returned the wave and backed the car out of the driveway. I leaned against the house with both of my hands in my pockets and watched him leave.

Earlier in the day, I spoke with him and asked him to talk with Bella when he returned home. I wanted him to explain to Bella what I was going to do and how long this should take. I thought she would take it better from someone other than me; I don't think I could tell her that I would be gone for a month. I don't know how long she expected me to be gone. If it was not this long, then she would be hurt and I couldn't take hurting her anymore. I thought Carlisle would be able to deliver the news in a way that softened the blow for her. He suggested that he and Esme would have dinner at their place for all of them and then tell Bella while everyone was there to help her deal with it.

I sighed and knew that some time tonight or tomorrow I would get a phone call from Bella needing me to help soothe her. I would do whatever I could for her. I wanted all this for her and was hoping she thought I was worth the effort and wait.

My phone vibrated again in my pocket reminding me of the text I missed. I opened the front door and let myself into the room I was using and closed the door. I sat on the bed and pressed the 'view now' button to see the text.

E-

I hope you like these, xoxo

B-

My heart started racing; I knew she had indeed sent me a picture of her in her new lingerie. I paused for half a second before hitting the button that would show me Bella and her beautiful body.

Holy shit, she is beautiful! No, stunning! I can't even think of a word that describes what she is in her brown bra and panties. They are smoking hot; she looks so innocent but yet still, sexy as hell. I sat looking at her picture for a few minutes and not just the parts that were barely covered by her underwear but the other parts as well. The gentle graceful sweep of her arm as it rested over her head. The beautiful expressive eyes she had; I loved them more each time I looked into them. How dark her hair looks in the light in my room. Holy shit, she's in my bed! That makes this picture so much better, to know she rolled around in her barely-there underwear in my bed. I loved this woman.

I pushed the button that showed me the next picture and she was turned on her stomach so I could see her perfect ass. Now I was harder than ever, I wasn't sure that the panty pictures were a good idea. How was I going to look at them each day without wanting to drive home right now and fuck her senseless? Her smirk with her tiny fingernail between her teeth was the icing on the cake. I could look at this one picture all day. I wanted to call her and talk to her, once again to just hear her voice right now. I saved the pictures and closed the message. I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello."

"Fuck, baby, why do you do that to me? I'm here and I can't get home to you. You make me want you so bad. This was a terrible idea. I don't know if I'm strong enough to look at those everyday with me here and you there. You look beautiful but I don't know," I stuttered out and hoped it made sense to her.

"Edward, I'm so sorry I didn't think about that. I won't send anymore. Too bad too because tomorrow I had this teal set to send to you. It was so sexy, I was so sure that you would love it. But I don't want to torture you so I won't send a picture." Her voice was full of mischief, and sexiness. That little minx, she had me scrambling to see the teal set right now, how could I say no to her? She knew exactly how to play me and I fell for it every time.

"Well, if you already have a set in mind I don't want to waste all of your planning. You know I think that this is important to you, and I don't want to hurt your feelings so go ahead and keep sending them to me. I'll suck it up for you, anything to make sure that you're happy." By the end of my speech my voice was so sugary sweet that the words just dripped off of my tongue. She just laughed at me.

"Bella, are you still wearing just the bra and panties?" My voice was turning husky with want for her.

"Edward! Alice and Rosalie are listening to us; you might want to keep it PG-13 for them. No, I'm dressed now, jeans and a t-shirt, one of mine," she warned.

To hell with both of them. They had done, said and thought much worse than what I wanted to say to Bella right now. Her picture had pushed me past a point of caring, I needed her and to hear her moan for me.

"Bella, why don't you go get back in my bed and take all those clothes off right now, and let me hear you moan for me. Please, baby, I need to hear it. I have been away from you for four days now; I can't go without hearing it," I pleaded with her. I could hear Rosalie and Alice making noises in the background; they didn't seem like giggles so maybe they were sympathetic for me.

"Edward, why don't I call you tonight and we can do that then? I don't think now is the time, please. I want it as much as you do but I think we need to wait." He voice was laced with need just like mine. I knew she needed it as much as I did. I would wait for her. After all, she was waiting for me.

"Ok, baby. I will wait but only until tonight. You are so sexy and I want to hear you. How else will I be able to have good dreams?" I reasoned with her.

"Well, then, I will make sure that you have plenty of material for good dreams, I promise," she purred at me, and I knew she was good for her promise.

"I'm out of time right now anyway. I need to go with Dr. Ward to Seattle Memorial and meet some people, so I have to go. I love you very much and I'll be calling you when I get home."

"I love you, too and I'll wait for you in your bed." She was an evil temptress and she knew it.

"Tell the other two listening that I love them as well; talk to you soon." I hung up.

I grabbed my wallet and headed downstairs to meet up with Dr. Ward.

We drove the short drive to Seattle Memorial and he led the way to Dr. Johnston's office. He knocked and we heard someone call out for us to enter from the other side. Dr. Ward pushed the door open and we walked in. Dr. Johnston was sitting in his office behind his desk. He rose and shook hands with both of us as Dr. Ward introduced him to me.

"Dr. Johnston, this is Edward Masen, son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle and I went to Medical School together. Edward is moving back this way and needs to find a place to do his residency, and to be closer to his family. Dr. Cullen asked me to introduce him to you," Dr. Ward finished and this was where I needed to come in and fill in the gaps of info.

"Dr. Johnston, it's my honor, sir, to meet you. Seattle Memorial is well known as one of the best teaching hospitals and it would be a dream come true to associate myself with this hospital. I was hoping to be able to discuss the possibility of working with your impressive doctors here on staff. I have my transcripts and letters of recommendations." I handed him the information he would need and stepped back; I wanted him to be impressed with me and my accomplishments.

"I must admit, Edward, I was given a tip that you were on your way here to see me. I took the liberty to look into all of your history and I have to say I'm impressed with your career so far. I do know of your father; unfortunately, I have never had the chance to meet him in person. I assume with you working for me that will change is that correct?" He stepped back and looked me right in the eye for a few seconds before he broke into a huge smile.

"I will certainly make sure it happens at the first opportunity sir, I promise. Thank you for your help. I won't let you down, sir." I shook his hand as I tried to convey my gratitude for the opportunity.

"I understand you still live in Forks so you will need some time to get moved here and settled. Let's say you start in two months? The other students will be starting then, and you can all start together. Does that sound okay?" Was he high, of course that was alright. I was so afraid that he would want me to start right away and that would mean a long term separation from Bella. This was turning out to be one of the best days of my life.

We exchanged a little more information and I left with Dr. Ward. He dropped me off in the middle of town so I could do some shopping for Bella. I wanted to send her a gift and I was sure I knew what I wanted; I only had to find it…well, them.

I passed several windows and saw plenty of good looking stuff but not what I wanted for Bella. Then I saw it right in the middle of the window on display for all of Seattle to see it. The most amazing olive green strapless dress, the waist was covered in black lace and the upper part of the dress has black sheer fabric bunched up over the green, giving it a slightly darker color.

I went into the store and was met by three associates trying to help me find something. I turned to the first girl to approach me and told her I needed the dress in the window. She asked the size and I was at a loss, so I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the person who would know.

"Alice, what size dress does Bella wear?" I asked a simple question.

"Is this dress an off the rack dress or is it couture?" She asked me back.

"Alice, I don't know; here talk to the sales lady. She'll tell you all you need to know." I handed the phone to the sales associate and she began a conversation with Alice; it was in English but so help me, I couldn't understand a word they were speaking to each other. After a minute, she handed the phone back to me and I said goodbye to Alice. I asked her not to tell Bella as it was a surprise and she agreed.

When I put the phone in my pocket Jenny, the sales associate, handed me a dress. I handed it back to Jenny and she held it up for me, I put my hands around the waist and they fit like they were around Bella's waist. I nodded my head and she headed off towards the register with it.

"Would you like some accessories to go with it?" Jenny asked me.

"Some what?" I responded, thankful that Jenny knew her job, because I obviously didn't know jack shit about buying clothes for women.

"You know shoes, necklace, etc.?" she responded patiently.

"Uhmm, sure. What do you have?"

She laid the dress across the counter and took me in a different direction. We ended up at a counter that held jewelry. I found a beautiful green necklace and earring set that matched the dress perfectly. The necklace was made up of marquis cut emeralds that were laid together to form large flowers. There were three large flowers and several half flowers to fill in around the edges. The earrings were of the same color emeralds but they were what Jenny called chandelier earrings, which is to say they were large hanging down earrings. Jenny then pointed out an emerald ring and a silver bracelet with emerald flowers as well to complete the ensemble, her word not mine. I said yes to all four.

Jenny then led me over to another section that held the shoes. She picked out a size six Olive colored heels with small emerald and diamonds on the straps. They were perfect for Bella's dainty feet.

"I don't know what size shoe she…" I was trying to say to Jenny but she was stopping me mid sentence.

"I got that from Alice, so don't worry these will fit her." Jenny was becoming my favorite person in Seattle.

"Uhm, Jenny, do you have undergarments for women here?" I asked, blushing at the request I was making to a total stranger.

"Of course, what did you have in mind?" she responded like I had asked for a cup of coffee, no embarrassment in her at all.

"Something black and lacy is all I had in mind. She has pale skin and black makes her skin look amazing," I admitted to Jenny.

"I have the thing for her, she will need a strapless bra for the dress and I have something that will fit both needs. It has a pair of matching black cheekies. I think you'll like them." She smiled at me as she said the last part, maybe she knew me too well. Or maybe she had helped too many clueless men buy things for their women.

"What the hell are cheekies?" I asked confused.

"Well, they are underwear where a small amount of her rear end, you know, her cheeks will show, hence the name cheekies." My eyes must have lit up with understanding when I finally understood what she was explaining because she stopped at that moment.

She again took what she needed and never asked me Bella's size. I assumed she also got those sizes from Alice as well.

We were finally done with our shopping and headed off to the cash register. I was sure Bella was going to be overwhelmed by her gift.

"Jenny, is there any way we could package this up and have it sent over night to my beautiful girlfriend?" I was hoping, but not really sure if the answer would be positive.

"Of course we can. Would you like a card to be enclosed as well?" she asked sweetly.

"Do you have cards here?" I was stunned; men must be totally useless on their own.

"We have a pretty green one that will keep with the theme you have going here, would you like to see it?" She pulled a box from below the counter and pulled out a green card and handed it to me.

It was plain card with a green design on it and a small shamrock. She shrugged as if to say that is all we have. She handed me a pen, and I began to write my note for Bella.

Bella,

I am so lucky to have you!

I Love & Miss you,

Edward

I handed Jenny my credit card and she packaged everything up and addressed it to Bella. She guaranteed that it would arrive by seven a.m. tomorrow morning. I thanked her and left the store.

I whistled all the way back to the prearranged meeting spot and waited for Dr. Ward. He arrived right on time and I climbed in the car.

"Edward, I think we need to talk a little when we get back to the house. I would like to get started helping you and I have a feeling you're anxious to get home to a certain someone," he hinted.

"Sure, Dr. Ward, that'll be fine. I need to make a call first and then I'm free for the rest of the evening after that."

"Okay, we'll meet at one p.m. Does that sound like enough time to make your call?"

I checked my watch and it was only 11:15, so that gave me plenty of time. I nodded to him.

"Great, see you in my study at one." He pulled into the garage and we both exited the car.

I ran up stairs to my room and pulled out my phone to call Bella. She answered on the second ring.

"Hello." She sounded out of breath.

"Bella?" I asked.

"I was helping Alice bring her clothes up from the jeep. She has so many that I think I have logged ten miles of stairs today. What's up? I thought I wouldn't hear from you until tonight?"

"I have fantastic news, and I wanted to share it with you first." The excitement was apparent in my voice.

"What is it, Edward?" She asked matching the excitement I felt.

"I talked with the Chief of Staff at Seattle Memorial today, and he offered me a resident's position. I can start in two months with the other rotation of residents. Isn't that great? I'll be at one of the top teaching hospitals in the country. I'll be able to come home and spend time with you before I need to get back here to start my shifts. We'll need to talk about the distance thing when I get home. So be thinking about it, okay?" I rushed through the explanation and was lightheaded at the end.

"Edward, that's great. I'm so proud of you. I knew they would take you, you are so worth it. I'm so happy for you, I just wish we were together to celebrate." I could hear a small amount of sadness in her voice; I'm sure from the distance factor.

"Bella, you don't know how happy I am that things are working out. I was so afraid with the whole mess up at college that I would be making up for that for so long that I wouldn't be able to get back into the swing of things again. I'm so lucky, Bella, first you and now this position with Seattle Memorial. I'm really the luckiest guy on the planet," I said with conviction.

"Edward, you deserve it all and more. You are a great person who cares about others. You'll make a great doctor. Don't be afraid to take what you should out of life." Bella always had a way to make me at ease.

"You're right, baby. I am just so glad it all worked out after all of that hard work. I need to go and call Carlisle; I'll call you later for our previously scheduled appointment. I love you," I whispered to her.

"I love you, too, and I'm very proud of you," she responded to me.

I hung up and called Carlisle and relayed the info to him. He didn't seem surprised and I asked if he had anything to do with my acceptance as a resident. He, of course, denied any involvement. He was sure they were going to accept me based on my own achievements alone and nothing he had done. I thanked him and spoke with Esme for a few minutes as well.

I left my room and headed downstairs a few minutes early to speak with Dr. Ward. I knocked on his study door and he called for me to enter. I walked in and sat down in a chair across from him at his desk.

I patiently waited until he asked his first question before I began speaking. I wanted him to lead the direction of the talks, to know what he needed to know and what he wanted me to tell him.

"Edward, please tell me the story; your father told me the short version, but I would like to hear it from you. I need you to make sure you tell me everything and don't hold back with what you were feeling. I need to know the whole story before we can start picking it apart," Dr. Ward explained as I sat back as far as I could in the small club chair I was in.

I took a deep breath and began my story for him. He didn't interrupt at all. He listened patiently, occasionally writing notes on his pad. I could hear the slight scratching his pen was making and wondered what the important parts were that he felt needed to written down.

When I finished, I was sweating and felt sick to my stomach. Each time I heard the story out loud, it felt worse like an infection spreading as time went on. I was anxious to hear what he had to say about it. But instead, he simply closed his pad, took his glasses off and laid his pen down.

"Edward, I think that's enough for tonight. I want to read over my notes and we can talk tomorrow about this, okay?" Dr. Ward uttered quietly.

I nodded my head and left the room quickly. I took the stairs two at a time and lay down on my bed. I was worried again about what he thought and why he wanted to wait until tomorrow. I tried to clear my mind.

I opened my laptop and checked my email. Nothing really important there, so I typed an email to Bella; I knew she would check it before she went to bed and hopefully she would call me.

I have never felt so alone, in a city with strangers and I just told the story that portrayed me in the worst light possible. I needed to talk to someone and I wasn't sure who. Well I knew who but I didn't want to bring her down.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Jasper.

"Edward, what's up?" He sounded happy and peaceful.

"Jasper, is Bella with you?" I questioned him; perhaps my voice was a little too harsh and paranoid.

"No, she went out with Esme, Alice and Rosalie. Why is everything okay?" He sounded concerned at my question.

"I'm fine. I just feel a little down and I didn't want to burden her with it. I know she takes my emotions and runs with them; I don't want her to worry." I tried to sound calm and unworried.

"Well, then dude, I'm your man; she is gone so we can speak freely. So spill it. What's up?"

"I just sat down with Dr. Ward and told him my whole story. He sat quietly and just took lots of notes. I could hear the pen scratching against the damn paper. Then he closed the pad, laid his pen down and said we'll talk about this tomorrow. What the fuck does that mean?" Paranoia was now my best friend.

"Well, maybe he needs some time to digest the story and decide which parts he needs to deal with first. It doesn't have to mean anything bad, Edward. It could just mean that he was tired or his kids needed help with their homework. Calm yourself down and don't let this become bigger in your head than it is already. I know this is a big deal to you and you feel terrible about it, but really it is not so big that you can't overcome it. Allow yourself to just relax and feel, not think. Okay, can you do that? I know that the over thinking will help with you becoming a doctor, but in real life that shit will only get you crazy." Jasper's slow calm voice infused me as we talked and I felt normal again. This is why I loved my family, each of us had our role to fill and we did it so well. We all knew our places.

"Thanks, that's exactly why I called you; you always know how to talk me down off of the ledge, so to speak. I appreciate it. So what are you two doing if the girls are gone? Did you get moved in yet?" I wanted to know what was happening while I was gone.

"Yes, we have all of the stuff in our bedroom moved in, and Alice promised that I could take my time with the rest since we will be paying for rent on the apartment for another month anyway, and besides the downstairs was not finished. She doesn't want any of her furniture getting dusty so it can stay there for a little while longer. We are sleeping here and Bella is happier with us all here. Em and Rose couldn't stand it until they moved their stuff in as well so upstairs we are busting at the seams. Downstairs looks like a ghost town for a few more weeks until they are done." He chuckled and Emmett grabbed the phone from him. I could hear a brief struggle and then Emmett's voice filled the line.

"Edward, what's up dude? You miss your bros?" He laughed loudly into the phone, and I pulled it away from my ear.

"Yeah, I guess I do. I didn't realize how much until I left again. I'm glad you all are all staying at the house with Bella, is she okay since I left?" I asked, needing his perspective; I knew that Emmett wouldn't sugar coat it for me.

"Man, it's like you were never here, she's fine. I swear."

I gulped; maybe she doesn't love me as much as she thought she did. Why the hell did I leave? I should have stayed and spoke with someone local. I started calculating the amount of time I would need to get back home when I heard Emmett's guffaws in the phone.

"Dude, chill out. I'm shitting with you, but she is doing fine. She has moments when she stares off into space and her eyes tear up but she's holding up well. She has a smile on her face and she is trying her best to make you proud of her while you are gone, her words exactly. So you might want to tell her how proud of her you are, so she'll feel like she has accomplished something, you know." I was shocked at his suggestion. Emmett usually wasn't that deep on his own so I figured that those words had actually come out of Rosalie's mouth and Emmett was just using the opportunity to appear deep and intelligent.

"I will do that, Em, thanks. I sent her a package and I'm hoping that helps her to know I'm thinking about her. Carlisle should be over to talk with her about how long I'm going to be gone and hopefully make it easy on Bella. I wish I was there with you all right now. I miss you, man."

"Dude, I gotta go. You're getting all girlie and shit on me, see you soon. And Edward, take care. We'll look after Bella, you just worry about you, cool?" His voice betrayed his gruff words. He was as soft as the rest of us; he just covered it better than we did.

The next thing I knew, I was on the phone with Carlisle.

"How are you?"

"Just a little homesick, I wanted to check on Bella and I knew that the boys would tell me the truth, so I called them. I hear she's out with all of the girls, is that why you're there?" I asked, really not caring about the reason just glad that I could speak with him to help push the feelings away that were trying to take over.

"I think it's perfectly normal for you to be feeling homesick, son. The separation is going to be hard on both of you. I actually had your mother drop me off here so that I could talk to Bella and see how she is handling everything. I'm sure you being away is just as hard on her. " he explained.

"I'm glad that she has all of you there for her, to help her through this and to be there for her while I am away." It was hard for me to put her through this whole situation. I tried to not let the guilt get the better of me. I knew in the long run we would both be happy for it and have a much better relationship because of it.

"Yes we're all here for her, as well as we are for you. It doesn't matter that we aren't with you. You know that we all support your decision to do this 100%. When I last spoke to Bella she seemed to be handling things well. I offered to prescribe her something mild to help her with any anxiety or feelings of depression she might be experiencing, but she refused it. However, she did promise that if she felt she did need it, she would let me know. She's a very strong girl. Your mother and I are so happy that the two of you have found each other. You complement each other in so many ways and we feel that you are perfect for one another." I could hear in his voice how proud he was of me. I'm sure that he was proud that I had taken the initiative to deal with this situation responsibly.

"Well, it wasn't too hard to find her when you arranged for her to move into the house with me, not counting that Alice has been trying to get us together since early years of high school. Thanks for that by the way, I know you didn't know that when you were arranging this entire thing, but I'm sure glad you felt the need to take care of Bella as well."

"Well, you can thank Alice; it was her idea. You know how she is; she just feels like things are right and follows that feeling." I knew all too well about Alice and her sixth sense. She had helped me out more than once with it.

"I'll get off of here; call me when you're done talking with Bella and let me know how she is. If she is okay to talk, I want her to call me and that way we can talk as well. It's getting harder and harder to go without her voice. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the whole month without her. Maybe she can come and see me in a few weeks for the weekend. I will talk with Dr. Ward about that and see what he says. By the way, thanks again for your help with Dr. Ward. I appreciate it."

"No problem, Edward, anything at any time. Talk to you soon, son."

"Bye." That was all I could manage, Carlisle always choked me up when he called me son.

I took a shower and climbed back in bed, waiting for Bella's call. Hoping it was Bella that called, that meant she was emotionally okay enough to talk with me herself. I didn't want any more pain or heartache for her, especially if I was the cause that pain.

I dozed off while waiting for Bella's call. When I woke up, it was after midnight; I didn't want to wake Bella if she was sleeping so I opened my laptop and checked my email again. Maybe she sent an email instead. She did, when I opened it she had a large green background and she had pasted love messages all over it. I read each one and was overwhelmed at the time she took to tell me she loved me. Each phrase said something different and each one was a new way to say it to me. I loved her more than I could say. I knew she would love my gift for her and hopefully it would show her in my own way how much I loved her as well. I saved the love note she sent me and then closed my laptop.

I grabbed my phone and sent her a text.

B-

Got your love note, I loved it!

I love you!

E-

I turned off the light and went to sleep.

I awoke to my phone vibrating on my nightstand beside me. I grabbed it and answered the call.

"Hello." My voice full of sleep.

"Edward, oh my gosh. You are amazing. Did you pick out all of this stuff? It is all so beautiful; I can't keep all of this stuff. I'll pick a few things and you can return the rest." Bella was channeling Alice again; she spoke with a high pitched voice and without breathing in between words.

"Bella, don't be silly you're keeping all of it. I want you to have it all; you give me so much. I wanted to give you something back. I had help picking some of it out but the dress and lingerie I picked out for you myself. Do you like it?" I asked as I drug a hand over my face and through my hair trying to wake myself so we could talk.

"Edward, they are my favorites. The dress is so beautiful. It is perfect, very beautiful without showing off too much skin. But the lingerie, they are exactly what I thought you would like, so it's cool to know that we know each other so well already." She still sounded breathless, making her voice husky and sexy.

"I'm glad you like it. Are you ready for your first day of work?" I knew she would be excited to be heading off to work; she had been talking about working for a publishing company for years now. Her love for books was something that had never changed about her.

"Yes, Alice and Rosalie helped me pick out my outfit for today and I have to send you the panty pictures. I was in the middle of getting dressed when Emmett bellowed for me to get my ass downstairs. I was thinking that this whole living with everyone may not be as fun as I first thought it would be. Anyway, let me go and get dressed so I'm not late. I'll call you when I get home so we can talk. I talked with Carlisle and he told me about you being gone for a month. I obviously wanted you home sooner, but I guess you can't rush perfection, can you?" She chuckled.

That was my Bella, always ready for what came at her. She was sheer perfection, and the important part was that she didn't know that she was perfect. She was humble and perfect all in one.

"Okay, knock them dead. I love you, and don't forget my panty pictures. Can I text you today?" I wasn't sure I could go from now until after six p.m. talking to her or even reading her thoughts from a text.

"Sure, baby, text me anytime you want. I'll have my own office so you won't be disturbing anyone. Try to keep them clean, I don't want to spend my first day at work horny for you." She giggled.

"Clean texts, what's the fun in that?" I challenged.

"Okay, only two dirty ones and the rest must be clean."

"Okay, I can live with that. I love you."

"I love you too, Edward. Talk to you later."

She disconnected the call, but I held my phone in my hands so I could be ready when her panty pictures come in. I couldn't wait to see the teal set she spent so much time shopping for, just for me.

I didn't have to wait long, and there she was in detail. She had taken a picture of herself in the bathroom mirror. And yes she was right; the teal set was as perfect as she said it would be. I couldn't wait to go back to sleep now so I could dream about her in that outfit spread out on the bed for me.

I sent her a text; I decided to use one of my dirty ones.

B-

"It's been awhile but I can still remember the way the candles light your face,

It's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste!'

I want you to wear that the next time I taste you!

Love you,

E-

I knew Bella would remember the song and hopefully she liked it as much as I did. It was meaningful for a few reasons to us right now. I needed her to know how important she was to me, not just for the sex. She was the first woman that I pictured having children and really making a life with. Tanya was a serious girlfriend, but I never envisioned us in the future or more precisely how our future would look. Looking back now, it seems strange that we were together that long and I never spent any time thinking about our future. I guess deep down inside, I knew that she would not be the forever girl I wanted to marry. She was the right now girl I wanted to fuck. I guess that is the difference.

I turned over and tried to bring Bella's face to my dreams.