Bella wanted to talk with about our visits, once we were back at school so we sat down and worked out a plan. Renee gave Bella and I some of her frequent flier miles to let us buy a flight for each of us to see each other. So our first two trips were planned. We both visibly relaxed to know that this was important and we made efforts to keep the relationship alive. Now, I just hoped that my part of the plan would fall into place for us. I kept my fingers crossed the entire time I silently worked out the details.
Phil took me to the ball park where he played and the team allowed me to participate in a practice with them. I was blown away by how hard they worked to keep their positions on the team. I understood Phil's need to go and do his job instead of staying with Renee. He also explained how much he appreciated Bella for what she did for both of them. She dropped her life and came at a moment's notice to help out.
Phil never had children so Bella was a daughter to him as well. I could see the love and devotion that he felt for her when he spoke. He gave me the typical 'hurt her and you die speech' and I fully admitted how crazy I was about her. I even let him in on part of my plan but made him swear that it was a secret that he wouldn't tell to anyone, not even Renee. He agreed and we spent the rest of the day with him pitching me balls and me trying to hit the balls he pitched.
Renee and Bella met us after practice for dinner at one of the local seafood restaurants. It was a fun but bittersweet evening because I was flying back to California the following day. I would be without Bella again. Even the realization that my body knew that it was going to be for a short time didn't help me. I ached to hold her, kiss her and just make her understand how much I wanted her.
After dinner Phil took Renee home because a lot of activity still tired her out easily. Bella and I held hands and walked along the beach. Words didn't pass between us, it seemed we both were tied up in the thoughts in our heads. I knew my thoughts and I wanted to know hers as well.
"Tell me what you are thinking, please?" I pleaded with her.
"Just how much I will miss you and how long it will be from the time you walk away in that airport until the time that your flight will land so I can see you again?" Her voice asked in an uncertain way, like she was almost embarrassed about her own thoughts.
"Yeah, me too." I kissed the side of her head as I pulled her into my arms. "You know that I see us together forever, right? This isn't some passing thing for me." She nodded against my chest. "I'm not going to ask or talk specifics but I do want to make sure you understand that. We will talk about all of that when the time comes, okay?" She nodded again. "Come on, let's get you home. I love these sun dresses you keep wearing for me but it has to be cold down by the water for you."
I walked her back out to the main road and hailed a cab for us. Our silence settled over us again on the ride home. We had said all we needed to for now.
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