Bella
The month after our wedding seemed to settle into a nice routine. Most days we would wake up, eat, Edward would play his music, and I would read. Then we'd eat lunch, usually with Carlisle and Esme since the rest of the gang has drifted off to college again. I would putter around the house; we'd eat dinner and then bed. It would seem like a routine that would get so boring after a few days of it but I felt so far from bored. I loved it, all of it! I couldn't wait to add Makenna into our life.
Each day I seemed to get bigger and bigger and my patience began to wear thin waiting for her to get here. Esme and even Sue tried to keep me busy but it was hard to take this one event off my mind for long. I had signed up for pregnancy yoga at the gym. That did help fill a few hours each week and then I would walk the track while Edward worked out. When we both were done he would meet me at the swimming pool and we would swim for a while together. It felt so good to be in the water, to feel so light again. Don't get me wrong, I loved being pregnant, I just hated the waiting. I wanted my daughter here with me, so I could hold her in my arms and watch her experience everything for the first time. Edward seemed just as excited and anxious as I was, it helped to know he felt the same.
My weekly doctor appointments helped as well. I got to hear her heartbeat each week, and several times I got to actually see her again. Neither filled the longing that actually holding her would solve, but it was nice to be able to see and hear her just the same.
I was home alone on a cold February morning. Edward had gone to meet Carlisle for lunch. I was supposed to meet Sue and do a little last minute shopping for Makenna, however she cancelled at the last minute, as she needed to go and help take care of Quil's grandmother. Mrs. Atera was getting up in age and she was frequently sick. Sue said it was an honor to help take care of the elder's in the tribe just as the younger generation would do for her. I didn't blame her one bit, and encouraged her to stay in La Push to help out. After all I wasn't a baby and could take care of myself for a few hours alone.
I made a light lunch since I didn't feel like eating much after my busy morning. I ate and then went to lie down. I was tired because the nesting instinct had hit me big time. I went through Makenna's entire room again. I washed every single item she had, re-folded it, and put it away. Then I started on the plastic bowls and lids cabinet in the kitchen. I had sorted, organized and put them all back away. Then I moved on to the laundry room. I had no idea how we had lived in this house for such a short amount of time and yet I still needed to do such actions as I had spent today doing. I knew that with all the activity I had over done things but I couldn't help it. I was a simple slave to the hormones; they were the ones that were in actual control of my body. I decided to take a quick nap before Edward got home.
I awoke to the cell phone ringing. I rubbed my eyes and reached to answer it. "Hello." I yawned in greeting.
"Bella? Are you okay, I have been trying for about a half an hour to reach you." Edward sounded frantic.
"I'm fine, I took a nap upstairs. I guess I left the house phone downstairs, sorry. Where are you?" I asked suddenly confused as to why he wasn't home with me by now.
"We're waiting on a tow truck. Carlisle's Mercedes had a blow out and he hit the guardrail when he was trying to control it. No big deal, we aren't hurt at all it just messed up the front end and he can't drive it. Charlie's on his way to come and pick us up and take us back to my car." Edward's voice seemed calm and in control so I guess that he was telling me the truth but I just had a funny feeling in my gut about it all. "Why don't you go and rest some more and I will see you when I get home. Keep this phone with you though so I can get to you if I need to. Okay?" I answered Edward's suggestion with a loud yawn.
"Sounds good to me, pick up dinner on your way home if you don't mind. I had a light lunch and now I am getting hungry." I asked and before he could answer I blurted out. "Why don't you get some chicken fried steak from the diner? And bring me a piece of their apple pie too, please." Again pregnancy is in control, not me obviously.
Edward's deep chuckle alerted me that he was perfectly fine with the choice I made for dinner. "Sure, baby, anything for my girls. I'll be home soon."
"Okay, love you." I rubbed my back as I answered. Sitting on the floor was too much for me at this stage in my pregnancy, obviously.
"Love you too."
I flipped the phone closed and drifted off immediately. When I woke up my back was killing me and my phone was ringing in my ear again. It was black outside.
"Hello?"
"Hey, we ended up waiting here at the hospital for Esme. Charlie picked us up and then had to drop us off here when he got called out the help Port Angeles guys for a multiple car pile-up. So we called Esme and she is coming to pick us up. I'm so sorry to leave you alone like this. As soon as I get back to their house and get my car I swear I am coming right home. I will pick you up and we can go and eat together, okay?" He sounded rushed and scared.
"Edward, it's fine. I'm fine, I have slept the whole time anyway. Wow, I guess I needed that nap." I sat up and stretched when a sharp pain hit me. "Holy shit."
"What? What was that for? Bella?" Edward almost shouted in the phone. It was hard to hold the phone away and suffer through the sharp pain I felt in my side.
The pain subsided and I stood to try to stretch my body out and ease the ache it left behind. "It was nothing Edward, just a muscle spasm in my back. I think I tried to do too much today that's all." My attempts at easing his worry didn't work at all, in fact he seemed even more worked up at the thought that I had done too much.
"Bella? What have I told you, you need to slow down and not do too much now, your body is not ready to do that much no matter how much it tells you that it is. You need to go and take a warm bath. Not hot, warm. Please, I'm on my way, promise me that you won't do anything else tonight, okay?"
"Okay, I'm going to run a bath now and I will wait for you to get home I promise."
"Okay, we're hurrying. Love you!" He called out as I heard him relaying the info to Carlisle.
"Love you too." My response to him was cut short as he disconnected the call in his haste to get back to me.
I ran a warm bath and dipped down in the deep tub. I was so thankful Mrs. Cope was apparently a soaker because she had a nice deep tub. I was never one for a bath but this one felt like it was straight from heaven. My back immediately began to feel better as soon as the warm water soaked into my skin. I grabbed my phone and pulled up the book I was reading. It couldn't get much better than this, bubble bath with fragrant bubbles to relax me, a book and some peace and quiet. My feet looked pruney so I stood to get out of the bathtub before the water got cold. I dried off, and slipped into my jammies, warm fuzzy ones and threw on some socks too.
I checked the phone to make sure I hadn't missed a call from Edward and made sure to bring it with me as I descended the steps to grab a bite to eat. I couldn't wait on Edward anymore, I was officially starving. I pulled out a granola bar to stave off the worst of the hunger and I opened the phone to call Edward to tell him not to worry about me anymore. Just as I heard his hello, I felt the pop and water run down my legs. Immediately I felt the sharp stab of pain again. I was in labor, my water had just broke. Frantically yelling into the phone for Edward, "Edward my water just broke, it's too soon. My due date isn't for two weeks." I didn't know if this was as big of a problem as I thought it was or not.
"Bella, where are you?" I heard him relaying to Carlisle that my water had broke.
"In the kitchen, I came to get something to eat because I was starving."
"Okay, Carlisle says to go and sit down, carefully. Don't slip in the water." Edward advised.
"Gross, Edward, I am not sitting on my couch! I am soaking wet, I will ruin the couch!"
"Bella, I will buy you a new couch, you need to sit down, now. Just in case." The pleading tone to his voice cause my body to move without any further worries about the furniture. As soon as my bottom hit the seat I immediately felt like I needed to be doing something else. Something to get ready to go to the hospital. "Edward, my bag isn't packed and neither is Makenna's. I need to go and pack."
"No, Bella, just stay seated. We're only about fifteen minutes from you and Esme will help me pack you a bag, okay?" He sounded frantic. "Just stay on the phone with me love, please. I need to hear you and know that you are okay until I can get there."
"Okay." I relaxed knowing that he was almost to me, I would be with him in a few minutes, I just had to hold on until then. I heard Carlisle asking a bunch of questions and Edward answering them for him. I just sat and listened to Edward's soothing voice.
Only one thought struck me as important at this moment. "Edward, Makenna is going to be here soon."
"I know, baby, I know. Are you excited?"
"I can't believe the wait is over." I was dumbstruck with awe that I was finally going to get to hold my baby when another pain shot through me. "Holy shit, Edward!"
"What, Bella, what is it? Is that a contraction?" I could only nod my head knowing that it would not give me any answers at this point. "Bella, are you alright?" I could practically see Edward pulling his hair out at the entire situation. I began to pant in the phone through the contraction so he would hear me. It was the best I could do with the amount of pain the contraction brought to my body. Edward was calling out to Carlisle about the contraction and my panting. I heard Carlisle answer that it was a natural response and that he would call Dr. Jones for us. "Bella, do you know how far apart they are now?" Edward tender voice asked.
"I don't know, I had one when I got out of the bathtub, then one when I got down here and then just now. Maybe about ten minutes apart or so?"
"Dr. Jones, told us to get you and bring you into the hospital. We are pulling into the driveway now, is the door locked?"
"Yes, I locked it when I went up for a nap."
"Good girl, okay I have my key." I flipped the phone closed and rushed, well rushed as fast as a pregnant girl could, to the front door to meet Edward. Right now, he was the only person I needed. Not even Carlisle's medical knowledge would ease my fears, just Edward and his presence.
I stopped far enough away from the door to not get hit by it when he swung it open and it was a good thing I had some foresight. Because Edward swung the door open and charged in like the place was on fire. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry I left you and you were alone." He pulled me into his arms and I resisted.
"Edward, I'm soaked. You don't want to get wet." He pulled me back into him and kissed me.
"I don't care if I have to wear wet clothes for a week, I'm so glad to be home with you. How do you feel?"
"Uhm, well wet." Esme giggled at me and pulled my hand towards the stairs.
"Let's go pack us some bags so we can get to the hospital and have us a baby." I followed Esme as did Edward. Carlisle hung back and said he would clean up in the kitchen.
Esme, Edward and I worked together to get me cleaned up and change, and a bag packed for both Makenna and I. We were out the door and on the way to the hospital in about thirty minutes and about four contractions. Edward had set his phone to time them and we now knew that they were about eight minutes apart. Carlisle assured us that we had plenty of time and if not then he had delivered plenty of babies. This caused a riot from Esme.
"Carlisle, you are not delivering my grandchild in the back seat of a car. Bella will get to the hospital and have this baby in a bed, like she is supposed to. Besides, she doesn't want you all up in her lady business anyways. That's gross!" She wrinkled her nose and made a face.
"Es, I will do what I have to do. If that baby wants to be born before we get there I can do it! Do I want to? No, for the same reason that Bella doesn't want me to, I don't want to be all up in her lady business but I will."
Edward took control of the situation as a giggle escaped me. "No one is getting in her lady business, we are about five minutes from the hospital and I can deliver the baby if I need to, so stop, both of you."
I was so overcome with emotion at the simple thought of Edward delivering our baby that tears ran down my face. Of course he took that moment to look over at me.
"Bella are you okay, does it hurt?" His hands ghosted over me as if he was unsure where to allow them to land on me.
I shook my head and pulled him into a kiss. "You would deliver our baby?" I asked and the three remaining people in the car let go of a breath simultaneously.
"Bella, you scared the hell out of me. Are you hurting?" He asked again. I shook my head again just as a contraction began its evil climb across my abdomen. I grabbed Edwards hand and held on.
"Carlisle that's only been six minutes. Hurry." I began to pant and Edward watched me closely. He stroked my hair and told me what a great job I was doing and rubbed my back. Between the freaking hormones and his sweet actions I was a blubbering mess. I would be so glad to have everything back on an even level again.
Just as my contraction ended we pulled up to the hospital, a nurse rushed out with a wheelchair and I sat down in it. There was no way I was walking anywhere, my legs felt too weak.
Edward and Esme walked down the hall behind me in my wheelchair and the nurse. We looked like a panicked, strange parade here in the hospital. I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward's face. It was a mixture of panic and happiness. When he caught my eyes, he rushed forward and took my hand. It made such a difference to know that Edward was with me in this. No matter what he was not going to leave me, nor would he ever leave Makenna.
Tears at the thought of doing this alone sprung to my eyes just as we stopped at the nurse's desk. The nurse left me to go and find out the room number I would need to settle into. Edward dropped down to look into my eyes, I felt his gaze search my face. Satisfaction was quickly replaced by fear when he noticed the tears. "Baby, you okay?" I nodded and smiled at him.
"I'm just emotional, that's all." I laughed weakly through the tears. I didn't want to tell Edward the real reason for the tears and make him worry that I wasn't in the right place to bring our baby into the world. All of those doubts and fears were behind me. I knew that Edward loved me and our baby and he was happy, I knew that my mom and Phil loved me and would be happy-therefore I would be happy.
Another contraction ripped through my body and I leaned over to hold my stomach. Edward grabbed my hand and held on to me, rubbing small circles on my skin. Carlisle caught up with us at that moment and knelt beside Edward and me. "Bella, breath. When you hold your breath you're fighting against your body." Carlisle began to imitate the breathing pattern I should be following. I matched his and the contraction began to subside. As my face returned to normal, his did as well. "That's a girl. Good job." He smoothed my hair and I saw the excitement glint in his eyes as we sat inches apart.
"This is going to drive you crazy not to be there, isn't it?" I asked, as I could see the ever-present doctor in Carlisle coming out.
"No, I'll be just fine in the waiting room with all the other Grandpa's. Besides who is gonna keep Charlie company if I'm in the room with you?"
I realized that in the haste to get to the hospital I forgot to call Charlie. Carlisle patted my knee as he spoke. "Don't worry I called him as I parked the car. He's on his way. He's on duty but he will be off in about two hours."
"Thanks, I forgot him." I said sheepishly.
"It's a lot to worry about at that moment, it's okay."
The nurse returned and we began our exodus to the room. Carlisle and Esme left our bags with Edward and I in the room and made their way to wait for Charlie. Edward helped me out of my now wet clothes and into a hospital gown. We had to stop twice for a contraction but I was able to breathe right through them. I did have to admit that it was getting harder to do so, though.
When I was settled into the bed, all hooked up to the monitors and such, Dr. Jones came in and checked to see how far I was dilated. "Wow, Bella. You must have been having lots of cramps today because you are at about 6 inches dilated now. How long have you been hurting?" She asked as she removed a glove and tossed it in the trash.
"Well all day now but for the most part it just felt like a backache or slight cramps. Only the last hour or so have I been having contractions." She made several notations in the chart and Edward began to give her the run down about the exact time and length of my contractions that I had while he was with me. I wasn't even aware that he was timing the things so this surprised me. For a split second I doubted his decision to change his career decision. I squashed it and decided that Edward was free to choose for himself. He didn't need me second guessing things for him.
Another contraction hit me and I doubled over, well as much as a pregnant woman can, with the pain. Edward held my hand and breathed with me through it but this one was so intense. Dr. Jones offered an epidural and I immediately took her up on the offer.
After the painful process of sitting still during the contractions and a doctor shoving a needle the size of a ruler in your back (at least that's what it felt like) for my epidural, I was able to sit back and rest. By the time the epidural had taken over the contractions were hard and fast. I really hated to complain because it did take all of the pain away. I would sit in any crazy contortionist position I needed to in order to get a break from the pain.
Edward's eyes never left my monitor now that I was out of pain and semi sleeping. I could hear his breathing speed up with each contraction that came across my numb body. I was just thankful that I really couldn't feel them any longer. I was almost asleep when the nurse came in to check the monitor and I heard Edward whisper to her. "The heart rate keeps going down when her contractions hit the peak, is that normal?" I was instantly awake. There was no way this was happening! I had carried this baby, felt her move, loved her, and cherished her all this time and I would not give up on her. The nurse quietly murmured back to Edward as I strained to listen.
A few moments later Dr. Jones as well as Carlisle came into the room. My eyes darted from person to person waiting for the one to crack and tell me what was going to happen now. Dr. Jones must have drawn the short straw because she stepped closer to me as she watched the heart monitor. "Bella, we have been watching Makenna's heart rate for a little while now. After your epidural, her heart seems to slow when you have a contraction." My eyes misted over, I couldn't lose her. Not now, not after all Edward and I had to struggle through to get back to where we are. She needed to be with us. I angrily wiped away the tears that slid down my cheek and forced myself to listen to her. "It may be nothing, let's check you and see how you're progressing. You may be fully dilated and ready to push." Her gentle smile let me know that she understood and was willing to do all in her power to get our baby here safely. "Just keep in mind that if I feel it is necessary I will take you to a surgery suite and do a C-Section right away. I won't let this wait and see, you got me." She patted my leg and pulled the sheet back. After she lifted my leg and adjusted my foot she crammed her hand all up in mu business. There was no pain but it certainly felt like there should have been. Any worries about where her hand was wiped away when a large smile came across her face. "Okay, looks like it's time for us to have a baby."
The room erupted into chaos. Every single person in the room began to move and make plans. The nurses got the bed ready, Dr. Jones pulled on a gown and mask, Carlisle made a bee line for the door and Esme flew in to take my hand. When everyone was in place and the pushing instructions were given I looked up at Edward. His face wore a readable expression of love, excitement and a small amount of fear. I was determined to do this for him, to have our baby without any more complications. We deserved this much.
At Dr. Jones queue I began to push. I pushed with all of my might, feeling Edward's strong arms around me and his voice in my ear coaching me through it all helped me more than I can say. I begged, pleaded and prayed through each push.
Please let her be okay and let her get here. I need her, we need her. I love her.
At 11:52 pm and after several of the most intense pushes, Makenna Grace Masen-Cullen made her entrance into the world. Screaming her head off. Edward's expression was indescribable as he cut the cord and helped carry her over to be cleaned up. I lay watching the two of them, as soon as Edward's finger touched Makenna's she quieted right down. Her screams became grunts and low protests. She was beautiful. When the nurse was done with her she bundled her up and gave her to Edward. He brought her to me. The three of us lay in bed just looking at each other. My heart exploded with love and joy. Everything I could ever want right here in my arms.
As soon as Dr. Jones was finished with me and the bed was returned to normal, both Grandpas' were escorted into the room. Esme called Alice, Jasper, Em and Rosalie. I talked to them while the Charlie and Carlisle fawned over Makenna. I dozed contentedly as my family moved around me, my body was exhausted but my heart was full.
I startled awake at Makenna's crying. The lights were dimmed and it was empty of people except for me, Edward and Makenna. I felt terrible for sleeping through the visit. Edward's body rocked our baby girl and sang sweetly to her. She would quiet when his voice carried down the small distance to her but when he got to a part that he hummed she would stir again.
Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven
My precarious hormones clicked into overdrive to hear my husband singing something so sweet to our new daughter. I broke down and sobbed. Edward turned at the sound and rushed to the bedside.
"Are you alright?" He sat beside me and placed Makenna down between us. Her little eyes opened and she looked all around the room. She stopped moving when she landed on me. I smiled and wiped away the tears.
"I'm perfectly fine, you were too sweet there singing to her. Damn hormones." He chuckled as I said it.
"Well, I'm sorry we woke you up but I do think she's hungry. I have been playing with her and singing for about a half an hour now but she is getting restless." He suddenly ran his hand across the back of his neck and a blush broke out across his face. "The nurse said if you wanted to breast feed she would be happy to come in and help or she would bring us a bottle if we needed it." Now the blush made sense.
"Well, I have talked about it with Dr. Jones and I think I'm going to breastfeed. They say it's better for the baby, at least until they are six months or so. I figured that I could until we get back to school. Then we will see how things go."
"If that's what you want, far be it for me to tell you that you can't sit with your breasts out half the day, that will never happen."
"Okay, so then let's get the nurse and get our feed on."
After a few pointers, Makenna latched right on and was nursing away quietly. Edward sat with us, precariously perched on the edge of the bed. I shifted slightly to make room for him and he snuggled closer to us both. One of his arms wrapped around me and one wrapped around Makenna. He hummed and sang the song to me that he was singing earlier when I woke up. Again it made tears flow.
I burped, changed and positioned Makenna back on the other side to finish feeding. I enjoyed the silence with her, listening to her swallow, and her small sighs of contentment.
"She's perfect, my mom would love her. Phil too, he was sucker for kids." Edward simply nodded at my statement. Nothing more needed to be said. I tucked into Edward's side and fell asleep with him singing to us.
Oh, thinking about all our younger years, there was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We've been down that road before but that's over now
You keep me coming back for more
Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven
And is all that I need and I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven
Oh, once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around, bring you up when you're feeling down
Yeah, nothing could change what you mean to me
Oh, there's lots that I could say but just hold me now
Cause our love with light the way
Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven
And is all that I need and I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven
I've been waiting for so long, for something to arrive
For love to come along, now our dreams are coming true
Through the good time and the bad, yeah, I'll be standing right there by you
Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven
And is all that I need and I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven.
"I love you Bella, I mean every single word of that song." I fell asleep knowing that he did and for once without a doubt in my heart.
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