Bella
It's been three weeks that we have been in our house and finding our new normal with each other. I have to say that I love it. Edward and I spend the days organizing our house and getting things ready for Makenna. Other than that we just lived life and enjoyed our new happiness. I could definitely say that this Thanksgiving I had many reasons to be thankful.
Edward was in the living room playing his piano. I loved to cook, clean or do whatever with him playing in the background. Music really had become an outlet for him. He seemed to always be working on a song. I found myself humming most of them off and on after listening to him play them over and over trying to get them just right. I knew he would miss his piano when we went back to school and left it here. Maybe in a year or so we can buy a house there and he can bring his piano then.
"Hey, I'm hungry. Do you want to grab a bite to eat while we are out shopping or eat here before we go?" Edward was reaching up and scratching his neck, which made the small sexy sliver of skin on his stomach peek out from under the bottom of his raised shirt. I was so focused on this particular section of his body that I had no idea what he had said to me at all.
"Wha?" I so eloquently responded.
"Hey, up here." He motioned his hands up to his eyes as I laughed at being caught oogling him. "Food, now or later?"
"Oh, uh yeah. Sorry. Esme called and we are going to shop for the groceries together since she is making part of dinner. So, you don't have to go if you don't want to." Edward had drifted over and placed his hands on my stomach to feel Makenna moving. She loved to hear her daddy talking, it always put her little legs into action.
"Well what if we grab some lunch and then you and Esme go off to shop?" A smile developed on his face when his words caused a few swift kicks to his hand.
"Sure, let me call Esme and see if she wants to go with us." He nodded his head at me. I stepped away to go and get the phone, he left his hands in place for as long as they would reach me. I was so grateful that he loved his daughter so much already. It just confirmed my suspicions that he would be a great father.
I left the room before my pregnancy hormones caused me to break down in tears again and make Edward worry that something was wrong. I called Esme and she told me that her and Carlisle would join us for lunch since he was off today, we agreed on where to meet and I hung up.
"Hey, there you are." I found Edward in Makenna's room. "Carlisle and Esme both are going to meet us for lunch. What are you doing in here?" I questioned. I knew that I sat in here for hours sometimes just looking around and absorbing the changes to our lives but it seemed strange that he would do the same. I assumed that I did it because of hormones and nesting urges but that didn't explain him doing it.
"I just come in and get inspired sometimes. I think of her and all we will get to do and enjoy about her and it makes me happy." He shrugged one of his shoulders at me to finish the explanation.
I walked over to him and ran my hand along his face. "I love that you come in here and think of our daughter." A few tears fell at my declaration to him. Our smiles matched, mine watery and content while his was just content.
"Let's go, Sappy McTears, or we'll both end up crying and watching Hallmark movies in bed all day." He patted my leg before he stood up and led me from the room.
Lunch ended up including Alice and Rosalie who agreed to go grocery shopping with us when we were done. Carlisle and Edward drifted off and left us girls to shop on our own.
About halfway through shopping Rosalie asked, "So things look cozy with you and Ed-man. Are you two doing okay now?" Esme and Alice both halted at her words, I know they would never come out and ask but both certainly wanted to know.
"He hasn't told you about our talk?" I asked Esme as she shook her head in a negative fashion at me.
"Wow, that is a surprise. Well, we talked the first night we spent in the house. I don't think he had it planned that way. I woke up and he wasn't in bed with me, so I went downstairs. He had walked outside and I found his book of songs. He has written so many that I thumbed through them and read a few. He came in and found me. The songs prompted the talk, some were so sad. He shared with me that loved me but was so scared to open up and love him fully. He was afraid that I would take off again at the first sign of trouble and I can't blame him. I treated him like shit and he was scared. I wish you could have seen his eyes, terrified was probably a better description. I showed him a poem that I wrote and we talked about my mistakes. How much it hurt me to leave him and how I knew that I could never do it again. Never." I paused to take a few deep breathes, even talking about it made my heart hurt again. "I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him." I smiled up at the girls that had at some point in my talking gathered in a tight circle around me.
"Oh, Bella, I can't imagine how hard that talk was for both of you. For you because you had to own up to the mistakes that you made, and to him because he had to admit his biggest fears to you. I'm so glad that you two were honest with each other about it all. Do you feel like you have things settled?" Esme rubbed small circles against my back as she spoke, she would so make a great labor coach. I made a mental note of that fact in case Edward cheesed out on me.
"We seem to be. We talk all the time now and have explained so many things to each other over the last few weeks. After dinner we go out on the deck and sit and talk, until I get cold." I laughed.
"So when is he going to pop the question then?" In true Rosalie fashion she simply dove right into the question without any sugar coating around it.
"I uh..I have no idea about that fact. You need to ask him that." I was not sure that we were even to that point. I know that I wanted to marry him and make all of this legal but I didn't know if he felt that way again yet.
"Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen! You stay out of that and don't you dare mention that to Edward. You let things happen when he his ready and not because you go and put ideas into his head. Edward is a good man and he will make things right when he is ready to." Esme scolded, her loving caring demeanor gave way to the mother bear nature for a few seconds and as soon as her speech was done her gentle nature returned as her face resumed her soft sweet smile.
"Well then I guess we will leave that topic until it is brought up by one certain someone." Rosalie commented as we all continued on with our shopping.
When the grocery shopping was done we unloaded all our food at my house and left to go and buy some decorations and such for the event. With Esme Cullen in attendance there was no way the dinner would be anything other than perfectly appointed, it just went against her nature.
I was finally able to pull her away from the home decor shops when my feet were so sore and swollen and I was again starving. The guys agreed to meet us for dinner and help us unload our stuff afterwards.
I know that Rosalie was just asking an off handed question earlier when she asked about marriage and meant no harm but now that the words had been spoken I could not get it off of my mind. Seriously it was all I thought about for the rest of the day. To be Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen, I can't even describe the squee of happiness that I felt at just thinking the words, let alone hearing them from Edward.
Dinner was the same lively event that it usually was when we all ate together. Emmett provided the comical relief and kept us all laughing the entire time. Several times during dinner I caught Edward's eye and his sweet devilish smile eased all of my fears. He would ask when the time was right and I was okay with waiting until he is ready.
After dinner Edward drove me home and ran a bath for me, my poor feet were so swollen from all the walking and shopping. I sank down into the warm water and closed my eyes. I could feel it the minute that Edward stepped foot back into the bathroom with me, electrical current seemed to jump from his body to mine.
"Hey baby, can I join you?" He asked as he sunk down onto the floor beside the bathtub. That certainly wasn't my idea of joining me but I wouldn't push it. Besides I wasn't certain that he would fit in this tub with me, my tummy seemed to need it's own zip code as of lately.
"Sure, you are always welcome."
We talked for awhile while I sat and soaked. When the water was starting to cool, I asked Edward to help me out. He grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me and carried me into our bedroom.
"Edward stop, put me down you're going to hurt your back. I'm huge!" I squealed at him.
He slid me to my feet at the foot of the bed, making sure that I pressed against his body the entire time I slid down.
"You're not huge, you're perfect. I certainly loved you before but I love you so much now, all the extra curves make me want you so much more. I have to make myself not touch you 'cause I know you're tired and need your sleep." He leaned his face to mine and kissed me to prove his point.
Immediately I needed his warm skin against my skin, to feel cherished by him. I slipped my hand up his shirt and pulled him closer to me.
Thanksgiving day arrived bright and early. Edward was up again before I was, softly playing his piano downstairs. I dressed, slid my feet into a pair of slippers and made my way downstairs to eat breakfast with him.
I slipped into the music room, as we had taken to calling it, and just sat and watched him. He sat at the piano facing away from me but I was certain I knew the look on his face. It was utter peace and calm. It seemed more often than not now days that is the look that was on Edward's face. His music really had taken on a bigger role in his life. He was constantly pouring his heart into words or melodies. I knew he would regret it when it was time to return to the real world of college. He would not have as much time to spend with his passion, much less with the fact that we would both be away from Makenna for hours at the time. Now, I know this is hard to say for certain since she hasn't even joined our family but I knew as much time as we spent talking to her, reading to her and just feeling her move-well we were going to dote on her without question when she finally did arrive here.
Edward suddenly stopped playing when he noticed that I was in the room with him. "Sorry, did I interrupt?" My hand was still rubbing my swollen stomach.
He shook his head and motioned for me to come closer to him.
I sat beside him as he played several songs for me. Makenna always enjoyed when Edward played, if her kicks were any indication anyway.
As we worked side by side in our kitchen, it amazed me the turns that my life has taken. Each on their own was difficult to overcome but somehow when you line them all up they seem to make sense and lead me towards a specific purpose in my life. I was overcome with sadness at the prospect that this would be the first event that my mom would be around for. And as hard as I tried I couldn't keep the tears at bay.
Edward wrapped his arms around me and took me over to the chaise lounge in the music room. He sat with me until the tears stopped and after I dozed off to sleep he covered me up with a throw from the back of the couch.
He must have kept working in the kitchen because when I woke up he was moving around and taking things out of the oven. He looks so sexy moving around the kitchen. I lay still for quite a while just watching him. When the phone rang he snatched it up and answered it before the first ring even ended.
"Hello?" He almost whispered and after pausing for only a few seconds he continued, "No, Emmett, your childish ass can wait. She had a full melt down and the only thing she kept saying was Renee. So, no I don't really care if you're hungry, you'll wait on us and when Bella is good and ready we'll be over to eat." He was pacing around the kitchen, trying to keep his voice down all the while running his hands through his already messy hair. He obviously was a mess, probably worried about me and my emotions. "Soon is the best answer I can give you, snack some more and we will be there when we get there." Edward continued. "Okay, see you then." I sat up as he hung up the phone, his face looked plenty distraught at my open eyes. I tried to smile so he would know that I was over my emotional outburst and was feeling fine now.
I did miss Renee and always would but this thanksgiving I had so much to be thankful for that I refused to let me hormones ruin the day for us. I stood and stretched. Edward's hand touched my bare belly where my shirt rode up as I stretched.
"Did I wake you up?" He asked as he kissed my temple.
"Nah, I woke up just before the phone rang. Thanks for letting me sleep, I'll be so glad when I'm no longer tired all the time. Who knew?" I laughed, again trying to show him that I was fine and ready to eat. He chuckled as I sucked in large amounts of air, whatever he had cooked smelled so delicious. My stomach immediately started to growl and protest it's emptiness. "What is smelling so good in here? Do we have to share that with Emmett?" I pouted.
"Speaking of Emmett that was him on the phone, surprise, surprise, he's hungry and wants to eat. You ready to head on over?" Edward's hand dropped to my hips while his knees dipped slightly so that we were able to look into each other's eyes. I nodded my acceptance. I really was ready for the distraction of the busy Cullen household to take my mind off of all the things that I had lost this year. "Why don't you go on up and change while I load the food up into the car, okay?"
"Sure." I was reluctant to pull away from him. Each day I could see the little ways in which he showed me he loved me and Makenna.
When I made my way down to the bottom of the steps, Edward was standing there holding my coat out for me to slip it on. His eyes looked full of mischief and secrets. I was about to wonder aloud as to the cause of positively devilish look when he whipped open the front door and I noticed that it was snowing.
"Oh, Edward. It snowed!" He knew how happy that made me, I always loved the snow. I mean what was the point of the cold weather if we didn't have snow? I couldn't find a single thing to like about the cold if there was no snow!
"I ordered it just for you. But you be very careful, I don't want any more trips to the ER for you, at least not till it's time to meet the little princess here." He patted my stomach again, and I couldn't help but chuckle that his first thought would be about me falling down in this weather. I guess he did know me better than anyone else, I guess except his father. After all Carlisle has treated me for most of my falls, scrapes, bruises, injuries and other various reasons to visit the ER over the years. "Let me help you around to your side of the car, just hold my arm." As he gently led me around, the term precious cargo entered my mind.
We drove in silence, me enjoying the beautiful site of the snow falling and him concentrating on getting us there safely. Charlie called as we pulled up in front of the Cullen's house.
"Hello."
"Hey Bells, please let Carlisle and Esme know that I am going to be late. There was an accident out on the highway and they need my help to get it cleared up quickly. But I will be over as soon as I'm done with that, okay?" He voice full of tension, I knew how seriously Charlie took his job so I didn't even begin to worry about him. There was no use in me saying anything, it wouldn't make a difference in his attitude about things. So, I just let it go and wished him well and told him to hurry.
We were whisked into the dining room and our food was situated around the table with the other food already there. The entire family settled into their seats as Edward told them about Charlie's tie up and when to expect him.
The table fell silent as we all held out our hands to hold while Carlisle said a prayer of thanks. After our prayer we went around the table and did the traditional sharing of what we were thankful for this year. Esme was thankful for children to care for and a husband to love. Emmett was thankful that he aced all of his classes this year. Rosalie was thankful that Emmett didn't snore in bed. Jasper was thankful that his history professor was from the south as well. Alice was thankful for the internship that she had received word that she would start after the first of the year with an up and coming designer in New York. Carlisle was thankful that most of the people that had walked through the doors of the ER had walked back out this year. Edward was thankful for second chances and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. We all laughed at that one. And I was thankful for families that take me in no matter how badly I mess up and still love me anyway. Edward took my hand and squeezed it so hard. I felt a few tears slide down my face but I think they were more tears of joy than those of sorrow. Carlisle cleared his throat and asked for the potatoes to be passed, effectively beginning the grub fest.
"Bella these potatoes are heavenly." Esme commented.
I blushed and immediately handed off the credit for the food we brought to its rightful owner. "Well, actually, I didn't make a thing. I had a small melt down about Renee not being here and fell asleep in the family room. Edward made everything and had it all ready when I woke up." Emmett and Jasper snickered while Esme and Carlisle looked approvingly at Edward.
Before anyone could comment the door bell rang, it had to be Charlie. I was thankful that he was finally out of the snow and with us to enjoy the wonderful meal we had. Edward stood to go and let him in. We could hear their greetings as they made their way into the dining room.
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Hey Bells, how are you feeling?" I stood as Charlie came over and hugged me. One good thing about the accident, Charlie is more open with me. He makes sure to tell me how he's feeling and lets me know how much he loves me. It doesn't replace Renee but it sure helps to keep us closer.
"I'm good, had a little cry this afternoon but I'm good now." Charlie turned to look at Edward over my shoulder. I couldn't see Edward's response but these two were definitely in cahoots about me and my hormonal outbursts.
"I cried all the time when I was pregnant, it's healthy. It lets out all of those feelings you don't know what to do with and you feel better after it's over. Most of the time anyway." Esme added, effectively shutting off any further conversation about crying. No one dared to challenge her and her motherly wisdom.
"Well, I will tell you all this. It is a mess out there on the roads. Carlisle do you have to work today?" Charlie asked.
"Nope, I'm off for three days. I just come off of two 18 hour shifts so I am off for three days then I will go back in on Sunday morning at six am." Carlisle said around bites of food, seems like everyone was busy shoving one or another bite into their mouths.
"Good thing, Edward are you all planning on staying here tonight?" Charlie asked. Edward sat up a little straighter; it was obviously pretty bad outside for Charlie to be asking about us staying.
"I hadn't planned on it but we can if we need to."
"That would be great, I just don't want to take any chances with Bella right now." Charlie appeared visible relaxed when Edward spoke. "Not that I think you would take a chance with her but you never know about the roads or other drivers. It's better to be safe than sorry."
"The ER is full of people that didn't think they were in any danger when their plans began but things could go wrong in a minute." Carlisle added. Everyone seemed to be on edge waiting for Edward to answer. Several forks were paused mid flight towards their destinations.
"Sure, we can stay. That is if it's alright with you?" He turned to gaze at me, I couldn't help but nod my approval as he gently pushed my hair back behind my ear. The tenderness in his eyes were enough to do me in, much less the slight kicks I was getting from inside my body. It was as if Makenna was making her choice known as well.
I dropped my hand down to rub the spot that Makenna was giving special attention to as I spoke. "Of course, I wouldn't want to take a chance at all. We should be fine here." Edward's eyes shone from the inside out, his relief clear that we would not be on the roads. His love and devotion already so apparent for Makenna, I could certainly see what a great father he already was.
At that moment Alice let out an ear piercing squeal and began to bounce and clap in her seat.
"Alice, what the hell is all that noise for?" Edward asked.
"Well if you two are staying here then that means Bella can go shopping with us for Black Friday deals!" Alice clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her seat.
"Alice, now wait just a minute. First of all Bella does not like to shop. Secondly, the roads are not going to be any better at that time of the morning. So I don't think it is a good idea for her to get out and go with you." I just sat back and waited for Edward and Alice to solve this particular argument. He had made excellent points and I really didn't want to go shopping. Pregnant me out in the craziness with all those other people. No Way! I would stay home snug and warm in my bed.
"Edward, please?" Alice asked.
"Alice, as much as it sounds like a good idea I really think it would be better for Bella to stay in tomorrow morning." Charlie stepped in to help solve this. Alice looked forlorn, she knew she couldn't really argue with him and that ended the discussion.
Her eyes sparkled with a new thought. "What if Edward drives her out and joins us for lunch only?" I looked between Charlie and Edward to see how open they would be to that idea because it really did sound like fun to join them for lunch. And I did need to get a few gifts but I did not want a marathon shopping trip like Alice would want.
Charlie spoke up first, "The roads should be cleared by lunchtime."
Edward added in his thoughts as well, "I think that sounds do-able." My brain gave a silent squeal at that thought. "Does lunch sound good to you?" He asked me.
"I'm pregnant, food always sounds good to me!" I answered honestly. I really did feel like I ate all the time, and in large quantities. This answer brought on a round of laughs and everyone settled in to finish the discussion as we ate.
There was mass chaos around the table. Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Charlie and Carlisle were all discussing their different predictions for the football games scheduled for later that afternoon. And of course each one had different opinions. The girls were discussing the particular deals each one was looking forward to with tomorrow morning's shopping trip. I just sat back and took it all in. The smile that played at the edges of my mouth was just a small indicator of the joy that was in my heart. It amazed me how far I had come in the last few months. I know that if you asked a hundred different people they would give you a hundred different answers as to what happiness is. Well this right here is my definition of happiness. The only thing that would make this better would be here in a few months and I could wait on her.
Edward must have been able to pick up on my change in emotions because he reached over and took my hand in his. His eyes never left the huddle of discussion about sports but his thumb gently brushed across my knuckles as he spoke. He soothed me in so many ways he never even knew. My heart swelled even bigger thinking of his love for me and Makenna.
I heard Alice tap lightly on the door when she was ready to leave. Edward slipped from the bed and opened it to her. They talked in hushed whispers. I just rolled over and snuggled into the warm place that Edward left behind. When Alice said her goodbyes, Edward returned to the bed and immediately pulled me close to him again. His even breathing lulled me back to the peaceful slumber that Alice took away from me.
After my shower and a light breakfast, Edward and I took off for Port Angeles. I did want to do some shopping, I needed to get Edward his gift for Christmas.
We discussed each family member and what we wanted to get for them. Edward had some great ideas for most of the family, including Charlie. I asked him to see to getting their gifts while I took care of his, Carlisle and Esme. I had the perfect scarf in mind for Carlisle and a beautiful purple sweater for Esme.
We ate lunch, in the same crazy chaotic fashion as the dinner the day before. It was loud, full of conversation and fun. It made me miss my mom for a few seconds. This was the kind of scene that she was so at home with. She would have fit right in. Again, just as my emotions threatened to run away with me, Edward looked over and pulled me to him for a kiss. He had a way of distracting me and keeping my mind off of the sadder things. And he had perfect timing.
When lunch was over we separated into two groups. The guys and the girls. We were shopping for the guys today. We had no idea what they planned on doing while we were busy shopping. We didn't care as long as they didn't follow us around and try to peek at what we got them.
I followed Alice and Rosalie around as they bought gift after gift for Emmett and Jasper. I was still not sure what to get Edward. He didn't need clothes and we didn't need anything for the house. I wandered by the music store and decided to go in. Edward has spent so much time with his music lately. Maybe I would find something in here for him. I bought him a new strap for his guitar. I just didn't know what else to get him.
I was looking over all of the equipment, Edward seemed to have all of these things. Besides I didn't know what half of this stuff was.
"Can I help you find anything?" One of the employees asked me.
"Well, I think you can. I have no idea what I am looking for. My boyfriend is into music but I don't know what half of this stuff is and I have no idea what he needs. I guess I'm not much help at all am I?" I bit my lip and tried to remember if Edward ever mentioned anything he needed.
"Okay, does he play any instruments?" He is starting at the most basic questions, great now he thinks I'm mental.
"Yeah, he plays guitar and piano. He writes songs too. He has a journal full of stuff he has written." I had better fill in some blanks so we could get down to the suggestions.
"Well is he interested in recording anything for himself? I got some seriously cool recording stuff right over here." He led me over and began to speak greek to me about all the different aspects of the equipment. I didn't understand any of it.
"I uh…I don't know if he is ready for all of this." I waved my hands over the sound board and all that he showed me. "I mean he plays really well and he writes but he hasn't said anything about this, I just know that I love his voice and I would love it if he would record some stuff for me. So, maybe something a little smaller to start with? That way if he doesn't like the recording bit then he won't feel like it is a waste of money and all." I offered. I really didn't know if Edward would like to record but he was never very far from his music and it seemed to be more than a passing fancy for him now.
"Well I do have this set up that will install on a laptop, would you like to see that?" He asked as he headed towards a full display that showed me the entire setup. He showed me all of the features and how to record the music, then how to burn it to a CD. I was impressed with the vast amount of things you could do with the system. So I bought it. I just prayed that Edward would like it. Alice and Rosalie both tried to assure me how much he would not just like it but love it.
We met up with everyone again and all headed home after our day of shopping. All the way home we spoke of the great deals we got and how excited each person would be to get the gift they were to receive.
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