Chapter 15- Who Knew Safeway Was So Informative?

Chapter 15-Who knew Safeway was so informative?

Bella's POV

I couldn't stay in this house any longer, I had to get out and get some air. I could go and get some groceries, Charlie was terrible at shopping for anything and groceries were no different. He brought the same five items every time he went shopping beer, bread, ham, cereal and milk. I swear he was no better than the frat boys at college, good thing we had the Quileute women to help feed him. I scanned the cabinets and refrigerator, and mentally made a list of things to get. I grabbed my wallet and keys. I rushed out the door to Charlie's truck and as I was sliding in I quickly thought about going back in and changing. The sweats and t shirt showed my belly and there was no doubt that I was definitely going to have a baby. I decided that I didn't care if anyone else knew, the only person that mattered knew and he didn't care, so to hell with everyone else.

I always enjoyed grocery shopping; something about it was very relaxing. I was so relaxed that I didn't realize as I was heading for the checkout Jessica Stanley and her latest group of skanks were already there browsing the magazines. I was in no mood to talk to them, so I got in the line farthest away from them and waited. She looked up and our eyes met, her eyes widened and she immediately lowered them to the magazine again. I could hear her and her friends whispering. I know I heard one of them say "Who knew Bella was so ready to give it up?" I cringed as I heard Lauren Mallory put her two cents in as well, "And to end up knocked up, I knew she was a whore from the start, she just liked to tease them first. I wonder if Edward knows how she really is."

I looked up into the pretty eyes of the cashier and she just gave me a pity smile as I paid for the groceries quickly. I wanted to run as I left the store, but knew better. I was glad I parked around the side of the store so they wouldn't see me if they came out into the parking lot. I loaded the groceries and climbed into the cab.

I couldn't help but drop my head down onto the steering wheel and began to cry. I couldn't believe that I was the subject of ridicule by those skanks. I could name half of the high school they slept with and they were making fun of me because I slept with the one and only man I loved. I wasn't sorry to be pregnant but I did wish I could do it somewhere other than Forks. Maybe it was time to head back to school and get that new apartment. That way I could get settled before the baby comes and get away from Forks all at the same time. I would talk to Charlie about going back soon and see what he had to say.

I was wiping my eyes when I heard a knock on the window. Quickly I changed my face into an angry hateful glare, so that they wouldn't know that they had in fact hurt me and looked up. Shock was the only word to describe me when I noticed that it was Esme standing there. This was as close to Edward as I had a chance to get so I quickly rolled my window down to apologize.

"Esme, hey what's going on with you? I was just leaving; sorry about the angry face I thought you were someone else."

"I had hoped so; whoever made you that mad is crazy, I'm sure that is a "if looks could kill" look." I glanced down nervously, I didn't know how much she knew and I was too embarrassed to tell her anything. She reached out and laid her hand on my arm. "Hey, are you okay, you look like you were crying?" I wanted to spill my guts to her; she always knew the right words to draw me in.

I laughed nervously. Here goes nothing, "Oh, that you know pregnant women, we cry over everything. I'm fine."

"Bella, can we go somewhere and talk? I have a few things I need to say to you, and I think you have a few things to get off of your chest." I must have looked hesitant, because she opened the truck door and said, "Come on I'll drive."

"Okay." I stumbled out. "Let me lock the truck."

We got into Esme's Mercedes and she drove us out of the parking lot. She took a right and headed into town; eventually she turned into the ice cream shop and parked.

We both went in and Esme walked up to the counter, she ordered a vanilla cone with sprinkles. I ordered a brownie sundae. We both sat down with our ice cream as she took a deep breath.

"Bella, is there anything you'd like to talk about, you know, get off of your chest?" She licked the side of her cone like it was any normal day and we were not just about to have a talk where I spilled my guts to her about being pregnant by her son.

"Why don't you go first, you called this little meeting." I knew stalling wouldn't get me by for long, but I hoped I could at least see how she feels before I spill my guts.

"Bella, I know you've been through a lot, but I won't pretend that I know why you broke up with Edward. That broke his heart; he was not prepared at all." I felt so terrible. "Am I wrong but didn't you two talk about the future and make plans?"

"Yes, we did and I love him. I was only trying to make an adult decision for us, I figured we would both end up drifting apart at college and then hurt each other trying to work it out. I thought it would be easier if we went our separate ways and at least made the hurt easier."

"Why are you so sure that you both were going to drift apart? Edward loves you, and not in a superficial way, a deep true love. Why didn't you love Edward enough to fight for him, why would you just throw him away? He treated you like you were a queen, and you destroy him like this. I'm trying not to be angry Bella, but it's hard. Nothing makes sense and now you won't tell me anything. Let's start with why did you keep his baby a secret?"

I opened my mouth to deny that I kept it from him but I knew better. She was right; I did keep his baby a secret from him and everyone in his family. I was terrible to him. The guilt came crashing down on me. I lowered my head and cried

"Bella we all know that the baby is Edwards, your due date gave away your secret. So please don't deny it, just tell me why you kept it from him."

"It is his baby, I never denied it. He just didn't give me a chance to explain why I hid it from him. I just didn't want him to come back to me just because of the baby, I know it sounds crazy, but I wanted, oh I don't know what I wanted. I was starting to figure this out when the whole plane crash happened. And then when I started talking to Edward and he came back to Forks. I was just afraid that he would think that I had tricked him into coming back. I was scared, I was just scared. I didn't want him to hate the baby or look at us like we ruined his life. You know most guys are not ready to handle a child in their first year of college. He has so long until he is done with college and medical school. I didn't want to ruin his life. I love him more than I can say and I only wanted what was best for him. And we both know he can do so much better than me, he deserves so much better than me." Esme blanched at my comment, but I hurried through. I wanted her to know that I knew how she truly felt about me. "Don't look shocked I know how you really feel about me. Why don't you just admit it and let me go home. I don't need anyone else telling me how unworthy I am, I let Edward go because I knew he deserved more. Now are you happy? You know all about Bella, can I just go?" I begged, I just needed to get to Charlie's house, pack my stuff and get the hell out of Forks.

I was glad no one else was in the ice cream shop right now, they would all know how crazy Bella Swan really is, I raised my voice and yelled out all of my secret fears. They were all out in the open now, for everyone to know them all. And to Esme of all people, she was the whole cause of this and now I told her how much I loved Edward. I revealed my heart and just waited for her to move in for the kill.

"Bella, is that what this is about? You think I don't like you and Edward together? I think you're exactly what Edward needs and always will be. I say that because I love you and our family loves you, you're perfect for him. Now what gave you the idea you aren't good enough for Edward, are you listening to these little small town girls around here?" My mouth hung open, I was completely in shock, she was denying that she did not say the things I heard her say. "You know they are so jealous of you and him, they'll say anything to get at you. I thought you were tougher than that?"

"Yes, that's what this is about and no it isn't the small town girls, I can take them. It's others closer to us that hurt, the ones I thought cared and then find out they don't. That's the ones."

"Bella spit it out, who are "the ones"." Esme asked.

"Esme, you! You are, I came to tell Edward the day I got my acceptance letter to Dartmouth and he wasn't at home, so I came upstairs to tell you. I waited because you were on the phone and then I heard what you said. You were telling someone how I wasn't good enough to be with Edward and that I would drag him down. He had so many options and opportunities, and that I would hold him back. I heard it all Esme, I decided that I would let him go and give the chance to have it all. I left him for him, don't you see? That's why I couldn't call or email, I was afraid I would give in and ask him to come back. That's why I didn't call about the baby, I was afraid he would turn me down and break my heart or worse come back out of obligation and then I would ruin his life. I wanted it all and I couldn't have any of it, yes I loved him enough. Enough to let him go, and not hold him back, so don't ask me if I love him enough. I was going to raise his baby because it was his, I love it because it was a part of him, so don't ask me if I love him enough. "

I was sobbing by the end of my speech, my chest heaving. I had laid my soul bare and what was it going to get me, more heartbreak.

"Bella, I never said those things about you, I have liked you from day one, and I have always wanted Edward to end up with you. You know when to push and when to let him alone. You're a perfect match, and I'm sorry if you overheard anything. I swear I never said those things…oh Bella, I know what you heard. I was talking to my sister about my nephew. He has a terrible girlfriend who rules his life and I said he was better off without her." Terror and pain flashed across her face when she realized that she prompted all of the misery in Edward's life. "Oh Bella, all of this was my fault? I put you through so much, I'm so sorry, how can I make it better?" She pulled me into a warm hug and crushed me to her body, holding me tightly as she wept over the misunderstanding.

"What, what did you say?" I said as she held my face crushed to her chest.

She suddenly released me and grabbed my hand, pulling for forward with her. "Bella, we have to call Edward, he wants to talk to you. We have to make him understand that all of this was a mistake, and my fault."

I dug my heels in as we hit the parking lot, I needed her to clarify that she had in fact said what I thought she said. "You mean it, you didn't mean those things about me? "

"Bella I have always loved you as a daughter, I would never say anything like that about you. Besides if I didn't like you I would tell you face to face, and not hide. Nothing is more important than my kids and you are my kid, besides you're carrying my grandchild, so let's call Edward." The excitement was plain to see when she said the word grandchild.

"First can I talk to Charlie? He needs to know the truth, I gave him a story about a guy at college and he in so many words told me he didn't believe it, but he said he would wait for me to tell him when I was ready. I want for once to do it right and tell him before he hears some gossip. Then I'll talk to Edward, and make things right. I promise."

"Okay, Edward is on his way back, I'll go and wait for him at the house. He'll need a shower and some food, come to the house when you're done and we'll all talk." She rubbed my hair and I wanted to call into her lap, she always made me feel so comfortable. Even during the times that I thought she wasn't happy about Edward and me being together, she still made me feel comfortable.

"Yes Esme, that's fine. I won't be long, I promise."

And with that she hugged me and smiled a deep genuine smile for me. I could almost believe that Edward and Esme were related when I saw her smile; it was so similar to Edward's. I smiled just remembering his smile.

She drove me back to the grocery store and I got into Charlie's truck. I sped home as fast as I dared, it was raining again, and I didn't want a trip to the ER to waste any of my time until I could make everything right with Edward.

When I got home Charlie's cruiser was in the yard. I went in to the kitchen and he came in from the living room.

"Hey you think you can help me get the groceries in, and we can talk a little while I put them away?" I shouted into the other room at him.

"Sure let me get my shoes on, is this the talk I've been waiting for?" Charlie poked his head around the doorway to ask me.

"Yeah, how did you know?" I bit my lip nervously. Charlie and I hardly ever spoke about anything more than the weather so this was a big turn of events for us, first all of the talks before I left for school and now this. Bit turn of events.

"When I got home Alice was camped out on our front porch, I asked her why she didn't use the key to come in, and she said you both were in a fight. She had come to apologize, and that Edward was racing back to Forks to basically do the same thing. So I told her to go on home and I would send you out there. I promised her you would come." His sigh held lots of thoughts behind it all seemed to think that I should make amends with Alice; at least that is what I thought the sigh meant. "You have been best friends with her for too long to let a little misunderstanding get in the way, you know?" He stepped fully into the kitchen as he said, "So what do you want to tell me?"

First I jumped into his arms and hugged him for all it was worth; he was the greatest father I could ever have asked for. I quickly stepped back and started my speech.

"I know some parts you're going to be angry about, so let me finish before you jump in to ask questions, okay?"

"Okay."He didn't sound exactly sure of himself but he looked willing to try for me. That was all I had asked for.

"First this is Edward's baby, and I think he now knows it's his. I love him and have never stopped loving him. I broke up with him when I overheard a conversation of Esme's and she was saying that I wasn't good enough for him. That he had potential and that he was wasting it with me, well it turns out she was talking about her nephew who was dating a drug addict. So the whole story wasn't about me like I thought it was at all. I broke up with Edward to keep him from wasting his potential when it turns out he never was. And somehow he still loves me, so I'm going to make this right. I don't know how long I'll be, but if it gets too late I'll stay at the Cullen's, with a phone call to let you know, of course. So let's get these groceries put away so I can get going." His smile showed his understanding. I was pretty proud of him, he never once interrupted me and parts of it were extremely hard to listen to without interruption.

"Bella why don't you just go and I'll put away the groceries; you deserve a break, go take care of your love life!"

As soon as the words were out of Charlie's mouth I was out the door and down the sidewalk to Charlie's truck. I sped along to Edward's house, as fast as I could with the rain and dark roads. I sent a text to Esme and let her know I was on the way, she sent one right back and said Edward was in the shower to take my time. I couldn't believe that I was finally going to get to tell Edward about the baby, and share some of the pictures. Maybe he would be able to feel it move. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.

I pulled into the drive and saw the door fling open. Esme was standing on the porch; I jumped from the truck as soon as it was in park and ran as fast as I could to the door. I stopped and hugged her, we both let out giggles. Alice was standing right behind Esme and she ran towards me as soon as I let Esme go. She grabbed me into a full body hug and squeezed. I could hardly breathe.

"Bella, please forgive me, I was so hurt for Edward. I should have known after all this time you would never do anything like that to him. Don't be mad?" Tears were pooled up in Alice's eyes but I didn't need any outward signs to know she meant every word she spoke.

"Alice how could I blame you, I had done some pretty terrible things to your brother and you were as patient with me as you could be, so no I'm not angry with you. I love you too much to stay angry with you." We pulled each other into a hug and hung on for dear life. I couldn't believe my luck. I got my best friend and my boyfriend back in one day. I just hoped that things with Edward went this smoothly as well. "I need to see Edward, is he out of the shower?"

"Yes, he's up in his room. I don't know if he knows you're coming, we tried to keep it a secret, but who knows if Emmett spilled the details yet or not. Go on up, and Bella, good luck." She said this as she was rubbing my large stomach, and I swear as I took off for the stairs that she mumbled something about being an Aunt.

I reached the third floor and was suddenly so nervous. I took a quick calming breath and knocked on the door. I could hear Edward walk out of the bathroom as he yelled, "I said I'll be right out Emmett, this new game you have is not that important."

As he opened the door, he quickly adjusted his line of vision down to meet my eyes, and his mouth fell open. His eyes became wide with shock, and he started stuttering "Bella, wha…I don't…Mom said you were…what are you doing here?"

"Edward, can we talk? For once I think I owe you the truth."

"Yeah come on in and we can talk. Does everyone else know you're here?"

"Yes, I saw Alice and Esme at the front door. I talked with Alice for a minute, she asked me to forgive her and I told her there is nothing to forgive. She was taking up for you and I deserved it, I was terrible to you. So we're good, best friends again." He moved to grab some clothes and clutch them to his waist to hide the towel that stood between the two of us. I hoped that he was able to forgive me but it certainly was hard to concentrate on anything other than that towel right now with him this close to me. He cleared his throat and I realized that he was watching me stare at him, or rather his towel. I rushed to continue the conversation that I started. "Esme and I saw each other at the grocery store and we also had a heart to heart talk. She helped me clarify a few things. First you need to know that I love you and I always have. At no point have I stopped loving you, I promise. This baby I carry is yours." He dropped the clothes he held as I placed his hands on my stomach, when I pulled away he left his hands there. He looked down and a soft smile took over his face, he looked back into my face and grabbed me up into a large hug. He buried his face into my neck and just held me. I started trying to explain to him why I did what I did so he would understand. "Edward the day I got my acceptance to Dartmouth, I came over to tell you, well you were out with Alice. I decided that telling Esme would be okay until I could share it with you. When I came upstairs to tell her she was on the phone, so I sat and waited in the hall. I overheard her talking about how I was no good for you and I would ruin your chances of a good life. You had too much potential and I wasn't right for you. So I let my imagination take over and decided that I would let you go for your own good. So that's why I broke up with you, because I thought I was helping you, but I see now that I wasn't. And I now know it was wrong to make a decision like that about us without allowing you to have a say in what's going on, so I'm sorry. I found out that I was pregnant at college and I was afraid that if I called you, you would do one of two things. First, you would have moved on and not wanted me back or want the baby either, and that would have killed me. Second, you would come back and we would make a life together, and I would always wonder if you were there because you loved me or because of obligation. So, I was too scared to make any move either way. Then the whole plane crash happened, and I was in too much emotional upheaval to do anything. I was too afraid to change anything, afraid that I would lose you. I know it was wrong to not tell you about the baby and keep that from you, I was just scared Edward, scared. I'm really sorry, and I really love you!" I was crying, again, by the end of my explanations. Edward sat and listened to them without interruption and his face showed every emotion under the sun at my words but the moment I began to cry all that left and sympathy took it's place. He pulled me into his arms and held me while I cried. I cried for all the time we lost, the time that I foolishly let slip away. Time I would never get back. Time I could not give him back. I felt so guilty for that. Edward simply soothed me; he rubbed circles along my back and shushed me as I cried.

"Bella, I love you more than you will ever know and I want our baby. Nothing will make me happier than having this baby with you. I'm here because I love you and for no other reason, I promise."

He kissed me, a deep, sweet, passionate kiss. One that conveyed all of his emotions to me, and then he pulled away. He looked me in the eyes and then down at my stomach. He dropped to his knees and then lifted my shirt to expose my belly. He placed his hands on each side and he gave it several small kisses. He whispered to my stomach. "Hello my beautiful baby, this is your daddy, I want you to get to know my voice. I will talk to you from now on, as often as I can. I'm so happy you're going to be here soon. I can't wait to meet you. Your mommy and I are so glad we have you. I love you."

Somewhere in the middle of his little talk I began to cry, again! How could I have doubted his wanting to be a father, he already knew what to do. As he stood up I pulled him to me and he took me in his arms. He let me cry and when the tears stopped I leaned back and gave him a large smile. I wanted him to see how happy he had made me.

"Bella, can we go down stairs and let the others know we're okay and about the baby? I can't wait for Carlisle and Esme to finally hear that they're going to be grandparents." I nodded. He grabbed his clothes off of the floor where they fell when I took his hands and he slipped into the bathroom to put them on.

When he emerged he took my hand and walked towards the door of his room. "Bella we are by no means done talking this through but I understand all of it. I don't like that you made a decision about us without me but I can see why you made it. We need to work on making sure that we talk about things with each other. We will never make this work if we don't." I nodded at him as I bit my lip while he admonished me.

"Now, let's let them know that they are grandparents!" He pulled me out the door and to the top of the stairs.

"I think they already know Edward."

"Of course they know, but it would be nice to hear it officially. Up until now, everyone has speculated, now I want to tell them for sure."

"Sure, I have all night, I told Charlie I would stay if it got too late, so let's go."

He put his arm around my waist and led me down the stairs. We were met at the bottom by the entire gang. They all looked from Edward to me and when they saw his arm around my waist they all relaxed visibly.

"Well we have some big news…Bella's pregnant…with my child!"