Chapter 14- The Walls All Come Tumbling Down

Chapter 14- The Walls All Come Tumbling Down

Bella

Time passed quickly and I was able to make it through Renee and Phil's memorial service with Edward's help. We decided to have the service in Jacksonville, so all of Phil's teammates and his fans could come. It was a much larger service than I would like to have had, but it was nice. And thanks to the owner of Phil's baseball team, all of us were able to fly down to Jacksonville together; he sent his personal jet to take us.

Because I needed to deal with the legalities of Renee and Phil's estate Edward and I stayed two extra days. The will named me their executer and stated that Phil and Renee wanted me to have almost everything; knowing that the only family Phil had was an elderly Aunt that lived in a nursing home here in Florida I wasn't completely caught off guard that they would have chosen me for the responsibility of taking care of things.

I however never expected to get anything from either of them, and if it would change what happened I would have gladly give it all back. Renee didn't have a lot of money when she married Phil, but Phil being a Major League ball player seemed to not only make a lot of money but also it seems he saved and invested very well.

The way the will was worded it would provided enough money each month for his Aunt to live in the nursing home until she passed away. I was thankful that the lawyers would take care of ensuring that those bills got paid. I would never have been able to take the money knowing that she would do without, but this way we both were taken care of. I actually would have enough money to help support me for the rest of my life, because I was not an extravagant person. I liked to live simply, and I would never be happy sitting at home. I would work, so the money could be invested and I could use it when I needed.

It was nice to have the extra cushion, especially now, knowing I had another person to support. It really did help take a very large weight off of my shoulders.

Edward and I went to Renee and Phil's house. We went room by room and packed up anything I wanted. The rest we donated to a local Women's Shelter, they promised that women who were leaving the shelter to live on their own would be given the stuff to help them get started on their new life. I felt like this was what Phil and Renee would want. Once we took care of shipping the boxes of stuff that I wanted home, we went straight to the airport. I couldn't handle being in their house knowing that they would never be again. I broke down several times throughout the day and couldn't wait to get home to get some rest. The lawyer that was handling the will was also going to handle getting the house on the market and would handle the sale completely.

It was hard to be with Edward 24 hours a day, and hide my pregnancy. I almost broke down and told him too many times to count. I wanted him and my new life more than anything, but I was too afraid to grab it. That was my greatest source of panic, how to keep Edward and the baby as well. I was afraid he would be angry no matter what at this point.

I was sitting contemplating this very subject when Edward called, he wanted to do a little Christmas shopping before the malls got too busy, so I told him to come on over and we could head on out. As he was coming in the door I was heading up the stairs to go and change my shirt. I called to him over my shoulder, "Edward, I will be right back down, I'm just going to run up to my room to change my shirt."

I ran up to my room and grabbed the shirt I needed, and decided to run to the bathroom before we left. My pregnant bladder was not going to hold out until Port Angeles. I pulled my shirt over my head, and threw it in the hamper. I stood up to wash my hands and put on some deodorant. I stood at the sink arms raised in the air, my girly smelling deodorant poised at my right arm pit when Edward opened the bathroom door. I froze; I only had on my pants and a bra. My pregnant belly exposed for him to see. I felt his gaze move across my skin as his eyes traced the curves of my breasts, down to my stomach and stopped there. His eyes became as large as saucers, and his mouth fell open. Edward grabbed me by my arm and turned me to face him. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, I tried to take in his expressions but they changed too quickly to register them. I was certain that I saw shock, anger and for a brief second a flicker of love.

He reached up and touched my stomach, he ran his hand over the middle, and he was greeted by a full kick from my little angel. My stomach dropped into my shoes as his face suddenly showed a look of horror.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me about this? Is this what I think it is? What I felt it is? When did this happen and who's is it?" His voice stuttered through his questions.

I grabbed my shirt to put it on, and he ripped it out of my hands. He just stood there staring at my stomach. I tried to cross my arms over my stomach, and he pulled them away as well.

"Edward, I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want anything to change between us. With everything else going on, I couldn't handle one more thing to deal with. I know I was wrong, but I was so scared. Please don't be angry at me. Please tell me what you're thinking?"

"Bella, when did you get pregnant, is that my baby you're carrying?" His voice was a cauldron of mixed emotions all rolled into one and trying to hold on the small amount of control he seemed to have on himself.

I couldn't meet his eyes, I turned my head away. I knew that the lies didn't go over so well with Charlie and Edward certainly knew me better than Charlie. So, I was stuck. I didn't want to lie, I really wanted Edward to know about the baby. But another part of me wanted him to have the best life possible for him, and it didn't include a knocked up girlfriend when he had a long road of college and medical school ahead of him.

When I didn't answer him, he walked over and lifted my chin so I would have to meet his eyes.

"Bella, you went off to college and had sex with some other guy, got pregnant, and thought you could run home and good old Edward would take care of you and the baby? Bella, do you take me for a fool? All this time I thought you were interested in me again, now I find out you only need a father for your child. Give me a break Bella, to think I never stopped loving you for one minute. I can't believe you." His rant scared me, I had finally pushed him too far. He assumed the worst about me and now I had to fix it as quickly as possible.

"Edward, wait, let me explain." I begged him, as I grabbed his hand to pull him closer to me. I needed to touch him, to feel his skin, so that I could be calmed by his skin and therefore I could calm him. Because as much as I wanted Edward to live his life and fulfill his dreams, I didn't want him to spend the rest of his life hating me. He needed to know about his baby, he needed to know right now.

"Explain, explain Bella! What could you possible say that will make this okay?" He yanked his hand out of my grip and pulled away. "I need to go, I need to get out of here." He turned and began to jog down the stairs. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head so I could follow.

"Edward, wait, don't leave, please, I can explain." I called out as I tried to maneuver the stairs as quickly as I could, being me and pregnant.

When I reached the front door, it stood wide open and Edward was racing to his car parked at the curb. "I don't want to hear it Bella, I don't want to hear anything you have to say." He yelled out at me, without so much as a turn of his head. He kept rushing towards his car and before I could even make it to the front yard he had it started and was half way down the street.

I grabbed the keys to Billy Black's old Toyota; he lent it to Charlie until his truck was repaired. I headed to Edward's house, hoping that is where he was going. I called Alice, I was hoping she would understand and help me explain to Edward. He always listened to her. She answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded strange, not her usual bubbly self.

"Alice, I need help." I cried.

"Bella, I have Edward on the other line, I'm not sure I can help you." I gasped; all at once I had lost the only support system that I had. I never expected Alice to not be there for me. She was always there, no matter what. I realized she was still speaking to me. "I don't think I understand and I'm not sure how you can do what you did and still say you have any feelings for my brother. I need to go Bella, Edward needs me." The line disconnected and I sat looking at the silent phone in my hand.

Edward's POV

"Carlisle, Carlisle, where are you?" I yelled at him, I knew he didn't like for us to raise our voices, but someone had to help me figure this out. I was totally lost and once again Bella had completely blindsided me. Why was I so stupid when it came to her?

"Edward, I'm up here what is wrong, why are you yelling?" Carlisle asked as I heard his feet shuffle across the floor upstairs.

"Carlisle please come down here, I have something to ask you." I paid no attention to his gently admonishment of my raised voice.

"Be right down." He sighed.

Alice walked in the back door, and I called her into the dining room as well. I decided this was the best place to call them to, since the dining room is where we had all of our family conferences, and this definitely required a family conference.

"Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Esme, would all of you please come into the dining room, now!"

As they all arrived in the dining room looking shocked I began with what I needed.

"I need to speak to all of you; did any of you know Bella is pregnant?" I figured that there was no time to waste with preliminaries that none of us cared about.

I could hear the gasps of almost everyone in the room, Alice knew because I called her on the way home, so she found out from me. But Carlisle didn't have any reaction at all, so I focused on him.

"When, when did you find out?" I hated sounding so demanding, but I was hurt and furious, and I needed to know how long this deception had been going on.

"Edward, I found out the night Bella had the accident. I was going to x-ray her neck for injuries, she wouldn't let me, she told me about the pregnancy then." I recoiled in anger and frustration. I felt just as betrayed by Carlisle as I did Bella. He obviously saw my reaction because he continued with his explanation. "But because I was her treating physician I couldn't share any of that, you know that there are privacy laws that they take very seriously and Bella made it perfectly clear that she wanted to invoke them, in fact I really shouldn't even be talking to you about this at all." He held his hand out and began to move in my direction. I stepped behind the dining room chair that was pulled out. "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you and I almost did so many times. I was hoping that Bella would do the right thing." He stepped closer to me again and this time I stayed in place. Carlisle continued talking. "This by no means explains her actions, but she has been through quite a lot. Her mind might be a little off, so to speak. Pregnancy has been known to do things to the chemical balances in women, and with the stress of losing her Mom; well she has been through a lot. That's all I'm going to say." He held his hands up and moved further away from me and closer to Esme. I could see the hurt in his eyes, and hopefully he understood how betrayed I felt by the fact that he withheld something like this from me.

"Did she tell you whose baby it is?" I needed to know how much Bella had told Carlisle. Embarrassment and shame flooded through my body just knowing that the family would know our darkest secrets now.

"I asked her if it was your baby, she said it was. She asked me to give her some time to figure out what to do about it." I jammed a hand through my hair. I just couldn't believe that Bella, my Bella, would keep something this big from me. "That is why I agreed to give her some time, this was the night that she found out about her mom and Phil. I decided to give her a break. She really did have a lot on her plate at that moment." His explanation made sense. "I'm sorry, son, I had no idea she would wait so long. I really am sorry."

Esme stood and walked towards me with a gentle smile on her face. "Edward, may I interject? I know you are furious but Bella has a lot going on right now. I know from experience that being pregnant does crazy things to your mind. It makes you forgetful, and very emotional. So emotional, in fact, that it makes things seem too hard to accomplish." She patted me on the back and rubbed her hand across in a soothing motion. It certainly helped me but then Bella's image flashed across my mind again and the anger came back full force. . "She loves you, Edward, you can tell it by the way she calmed when you called. I watched her and she was visibly calmer, just from talking to you. I think you need to take some time, cool down and go back and talk to her. I know it will be hard, but you need to find out what she has to say. Hear her out and then make a decision on what to do. " I hated it when my mom was right, and she usually was. Her ideas made perfect sense, there has to be more.

"Carlisle, did Bella tell you when her due date is?" I asked as a thought took form in my mind.

"Yes, she said it was February 18th." Understanding passing across his face.

"So then we can count backwards and get a better idea of when she got pregnant, right?" I expounded on the thought I could see already forming in his head.

"Oh, Edward you're a genius." Emmett shouted, because he couldn't stand it if he wasn't part of every discussion in some form, even if he didn't really help at all.

I could see Rose doing the calculations in her head as she began saying "Edward, do you realize that February 18th is only three and a half months away? If we do the math we can estimate that Bella got pregnant in the end of May. There is no way that baby belongs to anyone other than you! That has to be your baby Edward." Rosalie exclaimed. I knew that Rosalie had always wanted kids herself so I didn't know if her own feelings were clouding her judgment about this situation, but her math was correct. That fact we couldn't deny. Bella was pregnant with my child and she hid it from me.

As Rose's words hit me full force and I staggered back into the chair, I was going to be a father, in a little over three months. Bella and I were going to be parents; I was stunned at all of the details I missed, all the doctor visits, listening to the heartbeats, seeing the ultrasounds. I was so angry at her, and suddenly I thought of her at college over three thousand miles from home, alone and pregnant. I couldn't imagine how hard that had been on her, and then to face this, all the while dealing with pregnancy and hiding it from everyone. Why was she hiding it? Was it to protect me, and if so why?

I needed to have some time to think, so I got in my Volvo and drove. I realized a few miles outside of Seattle that I still couldn't make any sense of what has happened in the last few months. Bella was still the same, yet somehow different; something I couldn't put my finger on had changed, something that in her mind was big, more than big, super massive. Otherwise she wouldn't have changed her whole life. She didn't like change, so something else must be driving this change in her, but what the fuck was it? And if I didn't know what this "something" was, how was I going to figure out how to fight against it?

I rubbed my eyes and realized that it was almost two am. I pulled over at the next exit; there was a diner on the left side of the road and a motel on the right side. I sat trying to decide if I wanted sleep or coffee more, sleep won.

I checked into the motel and went straight into the room. I didn't take my clothes off; I just fell down on the bed.

I wanted to spend more time thinking and trying to figure out what to do, my mind was boggled with the fact that in a few months I would be a father. I wondered if it would look like Bella or me. I wanted it to look like Bella, but wait what if it was a boy? Would I want my boy to look like Bella? The answer was yes, no matter what I wanted all of my children to look like her.

I'm certain I was asleep and dreaming because I could see Bella sitting in a rocking chair and breastfeeding a small baby. She looked so beautiful, the baby was hard to focus on, but it made my heart burst open with love. I sat up in a cold sweat, I knew no matter what we would be okay, but I had to find a way for Bella to open up to me and tell me what was causing this change. I would drive home tomorrow and try to talk to her. I still wanted and loved her, no matter what her change had been I needed her to know that one simple fact, this baby changed nothing between us. I still love her, I have always loved her. With that thought on my mind I fell asleep again.

I awoke the next morning early, which was a surprise since I didn't get to bed until after three am. I guess it was the new attitude I had towards Bella and our baby. I couldn't wait to get home to talk to her. I realized that I needed her just as much as I always did. But right now I certainly needed coffee too.

I checked out and went across the street for the diner. I called Esme on the way across, and she answered right away. I felt bad for making her worry; I should have called last night no matter how late it was.

"Hello, Edward is that you? Are you okay?" Her voice sounded tired and weary. My guilt tripled when I heard her concern.

"Mom I'm fine, I'm sorry for not calling last night, I just wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't mean for you to worry, please forgive me?" I needed to calm her down as quickly as possible. I didn't want her to worry for a second longer.

"Edward, of course I forgive you, where are you?" Her tone softened with each word and she was back to normal by the end of the sentence.

I chuckled; I knew she couldn't be mad at any of us for any amount of time. "I'm at a little diner, I stopped at a motel at almost three this morning. I was too tired to drive anymore, so I stayed here." I looked around trying to get an idea of where in the hell I was exactly. "I'm not sure exactly where I am, but I'm coming home. I need to talk to Bella again." Esme's small gasp could be heard loud and clear through the phone. I could almost imagine her smiling face when she realized that I wanted to give Bella the chance to explain. "She needs to understand that none of this changes how I feel about her. I love her and I love our baby, you should have seen her Mom. She had her arms raised and she was beautiful, our baby making her stomach stick out. Every time I close my eyes I see her and want our life together even more. I'll leave here in a few minutes and I'll call you when I get closer. Do you think Alice is too angry to check on Bella?" My excitement grew with each word I said to her. I meant every single syllable.

"I think Alice was worried about you and took her anger out on Bella. They are almost as close as you and Bella, but they'll be okay. I'll talk to her and see if she'll go and talk with Bella. Don't worry we'll take care of her until you get here. Be careful and I love you!"

I drove for what seemed like hours, and I still had over an hour to go. I had not heard from Alice, so I wasn't sure how Bella was doing. I needed to talk to her and soon. I was afraid that the cruel words I said to her were too much on her. How could I be so stupid to say those things? She had already had enough emotional stuff to deal with, and on top of it I put more on her. I didn't deserve her at all, I hope she would allow me to make it up to her. My phone began to ring with Alice's ringtone, I grabbed it up.

"Hello Alice, are you with Bella?"

"Edward, no. Bella's not home, I'm not sure where she is." The frustration in Alice's voice clearly showed. I knew she was kicking herself for not taking the time to listen to Bella's explanation. I knew this in part was my fault; Alice has always been like a twin to me. We matched each other's personalities and complimented them as well. She allowed my anger to fuel hers and she reacted with hate towards Bella. I felt like I owed her an apology for pushing her to that point. "I'll wait here for her, I have a few things I need to straighten out with her also. I feel awful for tearing into her like that, I was so hurt to know she would keep something like this from you. I need to fix this, I missed her so bad last night, and I'm sure she is not ready to have any more upheaval in her life. So drive careful and I'll wait for her. " Alice sounded more like herself as she spoke about asking for Bella's forgiveness.

"Just don't leave her until I get there, I don't want anything to happen to her or our baby." I gushed over those words…our baby.

"Aww, so cute, be careful."

I flipped the phone closed and stepped on the gas a little more. I knew I was speeding and hoped I didn't get stopped, but I needed to get to Bella, and fast.