FIM- Chapter 2

Fade Into Me

Chapter 2-Edward

I finally called a wrap on the shoot when Charlotte threatened to kill me if I offered one more suggestion to anyone. Maria’s eyes danced with amusement as I cowered down to her and yelled at Peter that we were done. Maria and Charlotte moved back behind the make shift curtain to get her all dressed again while Peter and I cleaned up the equipment and light filters.

Our clean-up was done way before Maria’s would ever be. The paint as it turned out wasn’t so easy to clean off. I promised to wait for Maria as Peter and Charlotte tried to rush back to catch a flight back to New York for another job.

Maria made her way out from behind the curtain and I saw that she simply put on a man’s white dress shirt and a pair of jean shorts on over her painted on t-shirt. Her hair blew in the late afternoon breeze and she looked beautiful.

“Hey,” I whispered when she approached me. “Peter and Charlotte had to catch a flight back to New York tonight so they took off.” I hitched my thumb back behind me to further explain my words. I had no idea why I was suddenly shy around her.

“Yeah Charlotte mentioned it earlier in make-up. It’s a shame, I hoped to have some dinner with them since I don’t know anyone else here in town.” She curled her full lips up into a pout.

“I thought your family lived here, aren’t you from here?” I stammered.

“Years ago they did, my dad moved my mom to Miami when all of us kids moved away from home. So, no one is here anymore.”

“Oh.” Was the brilliant response my brain chose.

“Are you staying?” she asked attentively.

“Yeah, I don’t have a flight out till tomorrow evening.” Her eyes lit up until she heard the ending of my sentence, apparently she didn’t like the fact that I was leaving tomorrow evening.

“Oh.” It was her turn for a brilliant response.

“Why don’t we get dinner since I don’t know anyone and neither do you?” My brain finally caught up with my body.

“Okay, can we stop by my house so I can change since this is…you know…” Her words trailed off and I realized that the longer the paint stayed on the more it flaked off. Soon she would be bare to the whole world.

“Oh, sure. Lead the way. I walked though.” I grabbed my two bags and we headed off towards the parking area.

“No problem, since I drove.”

When we were firmly settled in the car and she had maneuvered out into traffic I asked the question that I was dying to know. “Why do you keep a house here if no other family lives here?”

“I love it here, I feel free. No one really pays that much attention to me and I feel normal. No gawkers here.” She shifted her Audi and I watched as her arm muscles tightened and relaxed. I was in deep for this girl and we had only known each other for a few hours. I guess this is what Bella meant when she said live a little. I hoped it was anyway. Because this is what I wanted, no preplanned thoughts, just acting out each moment without thought.

Maria unlocked her door and moved directly through the house and to the patio out back. She pulled her shirt off and threw it across a lounge chair as she passed it. She also dropped her shorts to show me that she still wore her blue bikini bottoms to match her painted on shirt. She turned on the outdoor shower and began to wash the flaky paint off of her body. I stood and watched. I wanted to turn away but her body called to me and I couldn’t move even if my life had depended on it.

She brushed the last of the paint off of her body as she caught my eyes. I tried not to look at her now bare breasts but I couldn’t stop myself. She smirked when she caught my gaze flick down and back up again. “You’ve seen them all damn day. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt for you see them now.” She shrugged again. I shrugged back. Thankfully her bottoms stayed on because I wasn’t sure what would have happened if she had removed those and stood there bare assed naked with me this close to her. I did not have that much restraint.

She drove us again to dinner, something casual as I still had on my shorts and button up shirt that I had worn all day. She was dressed in a flowing sundress that showed off her perfect breasts again with some sandals that hugged her feet. I felt like a Victorian aged freak as I ogled her feet like they were forbidden from view like years before. But they were just as perfect as the rest of her body and I knew that they were attached to her shins which were attached to her thighs which were attached to her…well you get the idea. It wasn’t the feet and ankles it was all of her. I was officially horny!

All through out dinner we talked and I found out that Maria was not just a pretty face but very intelligent as well. She discussed the new discovery at the unearthed tomb in Egypt, the national deficit, the presidential candidates that would run for office in the next two years as well as several new books that I had read. I was blown away. She also revealed that she had a history degree from Yale and wanted to travel the word sightseeing and not working. At some point our hands had found their way across the table to tangle together again. It was okay with me that they did.

When dinner was over I suddenly felt sad that my time with her had to come to an end. I wanted more, more time and more of her. She eased my nerves when she asked if I wanted to come back to her place for a while. I said yes, it certainly beat staying in at my room beating off to her memory. This way I at least stood a chance at making out with her.

Maria opened her door and I held it for her to enter before me. Just as I stepped through she spun around to face me and pushed the door closed behind me. Her body came in contact with mine and she used her weight and my surprise to push me against the wall. Her kissable lips met mine and I wasted no time in diving in with her. Her mouth opened to me and I pushed my tongue inside of her. I prayed that it would not be the only thing that I pushed into her tonight. Her hands gripped my arms as she moved her pelvis back and forth across mine. I moaned into her open mouth.

“Maria, what are you doing to me?”

Her eyes matched the smile on her face.

“Stay with me, Edward?”

I wanted to explain that this wasn’t the kind of thing that I normally did, and how I wasn’t prepared to stay with her. But her mouth halted all of those thoughts when she leaned forward and sucked my tongue out of my mouth and into hers. I just nodded my acceptance at her. She smiled again. Her hands left my fore arms and began to unbutton my shirt. I wanted her out of her dress but I had no idea how to do it. I didn’t know if I should just pull it up and over her head or pull it down, or…hell I was lost so I’d let her take care of that part. Hands, tiny hands, ran over my chest as she teased my nipples and lightly scraped her nails across my abs. I couldn’t help but suck in a shaky breath as I imagined her hands going lower, as they would scrape across other parts of me.

For a moment I pondered if I should be nervous about the fact that Maria would only be the second person that I had slept with, and then I pushed that thought out of my mind. She was responding to me just as much as I responded to her, so that put all inadequacy fears out of my mind. “Fuck,” I mumbled as she did indeed lower her hands and brushed against my hard cock outside of my clothes.

“Damn, Edward. You make me so crazy.” She panted as I placed open mouthed kisses along her neck while she craned her head to give me more room. “I don’t do this you know? Take home guys, I mean.”

“I know, baby, me either.” I tried to kiss her neck again as she pushed me away.

“No, I mean it, this has never happened to me before. I have never wanted,” she waved her hands between me and her, “before. Ever.”

I withdrew my hand from her thigh under her dress and touched her cheek with the back of my fingers. “Me either, seriously.” My fingers glided along her skin and she took a few minutes to think things through. Her forehead pushed up against mine and I wrapped my other hand around her neck to hold her to me. I knew I wasn’t in love with her but I could certainly see myself as I enjoyed life with Maria. She had something about her that pulled out all the right qualities in me. I liked who I was with her and we had only been together for less than twelve hours.

Her smile alerted me to the decision that she made and I leaned in to kiss her again. When our lips parted, I whispered, “We can stop if you want to.” Her head shook its denial immediately and I smiled because I didn’t want to stop either.

“No, come with me, okay?” She stepped back and pulled my hand towards the back of the house. I followed willingly.

Her bed was massive, white and looked like a cloud had settled here on earth. It was surrounded by pale blue walls with white billowy curtains. She stopped to open the glass doors that looked out onto the beach so that the breeze flowed through and danced the curtains up and around the room. Her hair followed suit with the curtains. It all felt magical and electrified.

We stopped by the bed and she pushed my opened shirt off of my arms and I wrapped them around her. My hand found its way back under her skirt and pushed it up to her waist. I hitched her leg around my waist and dipped my body so that my hard cock lined up with her before I pushed them against each other. Her moan was my reward. She was practically wrapped around me. I lowered us both to the edge of the bed. She settled her hips right across my erection. The pleasure was sweet and yet torture all at the same time. It was like a starving man that had to watch someone eat a meal through a glass window, it was close enough to almost get to it and yet not be able to. I wanted her in the worst way.

When my hand fumbled through the straps of her dress several times as I tried to figure out how to take it off of her, she gave in and helped me. I felt so silly when she simply pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. That thought was immediately replaced when I took in her beautiful body. Sure, I had seen it all day in various states of undressed as we took picture after picture. That was different in my mind; that was work. This was pleasure, this time I could enjoy what she offered, earlier I couldn’t. Earlier we were coworkers. Now, well now we’re lovers.

I buried my head into the crook of her neck and showered her with kisses again as my hand tentatively reached up to touch her breast. I took the full weight of it in my hand and pressed my thumb back and forth across the hard nipple. Her sweet body was so damn responsive and she reacted to every single thing I did. I felt like the greatest lover alive because I knew that she made those sounds, those reactions based on things I had done to her. It spurred me on even further. I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked it gently then harder when she arched against me.

“Oh, Edward,” she sighed. I wrapped my hand around her other breast and tweaked her nipple. I made sure to alternate from one to the other to keep her excited. Maria looked glorious as she sat across my lap with her upper body bare to me, her head thrown back in ecstasy and her body responded to each movement by mine. When her head dropped back to a normal position she reached for my belt. I sat back and allowed her to do as she pleased. Her tiny hands looked so tan against the pale white skin of my stomach.

On Tuesday morning when I woke up Maria laid beside me but she stared out at the rain that was running down the outside of her windows. The one glass door that we had left open last night was now the entry point for the rain that had run down the billowy curtains as it pooled on the hardwoods. To most people it would seem as if this was a dampener on the day but for us it was perfect. Maria was pressed up against my chest as I placed kisses along her body and played with her long beautiful hair.

The rain seemed to wash away the pasts we both had lived through and made everything new again. We both got to start off with a fresh new beginning, right here in this bed, with each other and the rain. The entire day was spent in bed with each other. Several times we left it to pull together a make shift meal for ourselves but other than that we were cocooned with each other.

We talked about any and everything; I was never in fear of sharing what I really wanted out of life because there were no expectations with Maria. I couldn’t disappoint her; she had no preconceived notions about me, she just listened to me and told me about herself. It was open and honest, probably the most honest conversation I had ever had. I relished every single second of it. It was what I had craved for so long yet never really knew that this was what it was. Now that I look at it what I thought was the need for order and perfection was actually the exact opposite. I wanted truth, but at the same time I wanted chaos and uncertainty. I wanted to live on the edge and relish the feel of the wind as it blew through my hair. I was just too fucking scared to let go of the handles on life and actually step out there to the edge.

It rained throughout the night and we lay awake late making love and listening to the thunder and the waves roll in. Each time with her showed me that life could be good, it could be all I wanted even if that meant that I spent it without Bella beside me.

Maria showered once we finally made it out of bed while I let everyone know that I had decided to stay for a few extra days in Charleston. I pulled out my camera and took several shots of the rain as it rolled down the windows and the way it made the sea rougher as it crashed against the shore. It looked fresh and new like this was the first time I saw it and it all held new meaning for me. I don’t know how or why but it just did. I couldn’t wait to get out in it and soak it all up. To fill myself to the point of being bloated with it so that just in case this feeling disappeared when I left here I would have some to take with me to last me for a while.

We wrapped our coats around us and walked all around town. We stopped by a lighthouse and visited the museum that resided on the ground floor. We danced in the light rain as we left, the tourist group that left with us laughed at the fools we appeared to be. It felt incredible. Maria felt incredible.

Her lips were soft and sweet as she welcomed my kisses. No matter where or when I kissed her she welcomed it. It was so different than Bella. Bella was too scared to kiss me unless we were completely alone, we didn’t make love unless we were in total darkness and we didn’t share things unless they were common knowledge anyway. Both of us were too damn scared to let go of anything long enough to actually enjoy life, we simply existed not lived.

I shook off any thoughts of Bella as Maria pulled me towards a small boardwalk. We rode the wooden roller coaster and laughed until our sides hurt. We ate junk food and drank red slushies until our mouths were coated in the sweet syrup. That was my favorite time to kiss Maria when she tasted like cherry syrup. Occasionally I slipped my camera out of my pocket and took pictures of her and the scenery. I didn’t know if I would want the proof of this week when it was all over or not but I took them anyway.

After our dinner of corn dogs and sodas we had salt-water taffy for desert. I took Maria back to her house and made love to her again, several times, it was the perfect evening.

Wednesday was clear and bright so we put on our swimsuits and made our way down to the beach. First we walked hand in hand, again we talked about what ever came to mind. We discussed her career and where she wanted to go with it. We discussed mine and all the things I had seen throughout my travels. We shared all the places that we wanted to go and see. Amazingly they were so similar so we made fake plans to go and see them, to do the things that we saw in the brochures.

I was pretty certain that we wouldn’t ever make it to these places together and somehow that was okay with me. I wasn’t stupid enough to fool myself into thinking that Maria and I were a forever kind of thing. She was here with me now and that was enough. I didn’t care about later, only now.

Thursday dawned and reality seemed to seep back in little by little. As each hour ticked off we both became aware of the fact that I flew away from her tomorrow. We showered together, we touched, memorized and connected again while we could. After our skin became too pruny to stay in the shower we put on our suits and laid out by the pool in her yard. She read, while I edited photos I took all along the week on my laptop. I paid a few bills and then confirmed my flight.

I shut the laptop and moved off of my chair, I made my way to her lounge chair. Without a word between us I pushed her back and untied her bathing suit. Without regret I pushed into her and relished the feeling of tranquility between us. Our hands interlocked, our eyes never left each other. It was intense, passionate and real, yet fleeting all at the same time.

I appreciated the way neither of us promised more than the time we had, neither of us pretended that there would be more. We couldn’t promise that and there was no need to lie. We took it for what it was, without the pretense of anything more. I knew it wasn’t love and part of me wanted to feel guilty for the sex that we had because I wasn’t feeling that important emotion. I should feel like it was wrong but I couldn’t feel that at all. Each and every time I pushed into her I learned more about myself. With each shared orgasm I dropped a piece of the wall I built and became the person that I wanted to be. So how could I feel regret, guilt, sadness, shame or any other useless emotion for that? I couldn’t!

I wouldn’t spend my life with Maria but I would never forget her, she has made me into the man I should have always been just by spending five days with her.

Friday arrived and the sky chose that day to rain again. We lay in bed and listened to it all morning. Neither of us said much, it was too heavy to speak through. When I was all packed and ready to go she walked me to the sidewalk and bid me goodbye. I stepped to the curb and hailed a cab. As I opened the back door and I pushed my bag inside she called out my name. I wanted to turn around and rush back to her. To pack her stuff up and bring her back with me but that wasn’t meant to be. We were meant to have only what we had.

I did step back to meet her and kissed her with every emotion I felt within me. The sadness, happiness, uncertainty, regret, gloom, resolve, optimism and fondness. “I’m so glad we had this time, you will never know how much it has meant to me. I will never forget a single second of it.” I told her as my forehead pressed against hers.

“Me either.” Her deep sigh showed me that there was baggage in her life as well. I didn’t ask and she didn’t ask about mine. We weren’t ready to be more but we were happy with what we had. “Call me sometime. Let me know how you are and if you’re happy again.” I nodded as our bodies separated and I held her hand until our fingers couldn’t reach anymore.

I replayed every single second of our week as I made my way back to the airport. The beach, the pool, the lighthouse, the pier, the boardwalk, the sights, the sounds, the tastes, all of it. I can taste it, I can feel it, smell it all. In some ways the time seems to blur, except every second and every word, every drop of rain and every single grain of sand. I will live those days over and over again until I find a memory that is better to fill that spot. But I will never be sorry, never.

I arrived back in New York to a bright clear night. I wanted the feel of the rain to remind me but it wasn’t there. I would need to remind myself. Remind my brain that just because the week is over and Maria is gone that doesn’t mean that person that I became has to be gone as well. I have to make myself remember so I will always be that person. A person that is worthy of a lifetime, a person that makes that special girl feel like she is the only person alive when we are together, a soul mate for someone else so that I can have all of the dreams that I was too afraid to dream before now.

I dropped my bag, pulled off my coat and walked out into the New York night, ready to live. Finally, really live all thanks to Maria.