Chapter 2- Finally a Plan

Bella's POV
I awoke the next morning and felt better. My head was able to form complete sentences, so I was progressing. Still there was no complete plan, but I wouldn't knock progress. I grabbed my books and headed down to the kitchen table, with a few weeks left of school I needed to study for finals. I knew that I could use the extra help in a few of my subjects. As I entered the kitchen the phone rang. I could bet my savings it was one of two people.
"Hello"
"Oh my gosh, Bella. Edward just told me about Dartmouth. I'm so excited for you. How you're calmly standing there, I don't know. Are you jumping up and down with me? You should be. That isn't so far from Edward or me in New York. At least we'll all be on the same coast. Who knew we would be split down the middle with Em, Rose and Jasper off in Texas and the three of us up there close together? How did Charlie take the news? Dartmouth is a long way from Forks, is he good with that? Bella, what's wrong with you, why aren't you saying anything?" Alice rushed out, all in one breath I think, without giving me a chance to respond to any of her questions.
"Well Alice, if you'll take a breath I'll answer some of your questions, but so far you haven't done that." She giggled nervously.
"I know, sorry, I just got carried away. You should know by now how I am when I get excited." Her sweet unassuming voice struck a bittersweet chord with me. Knowing all that I knew after overhearing Esme's conversation, I was probably going to have to make some decisions that would not make her happy at all.
I charged ahead with answering her questions before I traveled down a path that my brain was not quite ready for. "Now, I'm not calmly standing, I'm doing a little happy dance. I'm glad we'll be relatively close, well closer than Texas, anyway. I haven't had a chance to tell Charlie yet." I took another deep breath as I thought of another conversation that would make someone more unhappy than happy. "He had to cover a few shifts for one of the guys who are sick, so I haven't seen much of him. I know he'll be sad that I'll be so far from him, but I'm sure he'll do a happy dance so to speak with me about the full ride part." I could almost see her face busting at the seams to know more details about everything. She wasn't happy until she felt like she knew every minute detail. "So… anymore questions? I know that Hurricane Alice is surely not finished with her interrogations. So let me have them."
"Oh, well I have so much shopping in mind knowing now where you're headed off to, so we can talk more then." She was moving around as we spoke, I knew she was probably packing more things to take with her when she went off to college. Alice always said that 'Organization is a way of life', I'm not sure that I agreed with that. "Bella, have you thought about the graduation party that Lauren and Jessica are throwing? Normally I wouldn't attend any party thrown by them, but since it is a graduation party, with everyone there, I think we need to be there too. What do you think?" I bit my lip and fought against my gut reaction to simply yell out hell no.
I wanted no part of their little world; they had made my life a living hell the past few years. They wanted Edward and they made no bones about it to me or anyone else that would listen, except Edward. They were all sweet smiles and fake 'get-togethers' in front of him. Well, they could all go to hell. I realized that Alice was still talking so I tried to catch on to her conversation as if I had never checked out. "Edward told me he would go with whatever you wanted, so please say yes. Even if we only go for a short time, it will be the last party we go to here in Forks. I think we should go, what do you think?" Alice knew I couldn't say no to her, and if I even tried she would eventually break me down, so I might as well say yes and save myself some trouble.
"Okay Alice, we can go for a short time, and say goodbye to everyone. But only if you promise we'll only be there for a little while, and I don't have to wear any fancy outfits. If you can promise that, I'll go and so will Edward." The skanky outfits that those two will have on already coming to mind. I'm sure that they would cost a fortune for the smallest amount of fabric. "I know Lauren and Jessica only really want Edward there anyway, so they'll be happy if he shows up. I swear they just don't get it. We have been together in what I'm sure in high school years equals a lifetime, and they still hope for a chance with him. I told him he is too good looking for his own good." I chuckled through the phone to Alice but inside I really felt anything but happiness. When I tried to picture those two falling all over themselves to get to Edward, it made me snort. He would be so grossed out at the mere thought of being with either of them. That would be a nice little tid-bit to share with them. How opposed he was to dating either of them, even if I was out of the picture.
"Oh, Bella, I couldn't love you more if you were my own sister-on second thought that would be weird since you're dating my brother, so never mind. I'll keep it short and simple, and no outfits. How about a simple pair of jeans and a great sweater? Ooh, I know just the one for you. I got to study some more for the French final. I swear that lady is out to get me, so I'll go and see you Monday for school, okay?" Once again she was channeling the Amazing Fish Lady who could breathe through her gills while still talking. It certainly came in handy for Alice.
"Yeah, that's okay. I was just walking into the kitchen to study some myself. Tell Edward I'll call him a little later."
Who knew studying could help clear your mind, but the total concentration on other subjects allowed my mind to work on my big problem behind the scenes. I wasn't exactly sure when to do it, but I now knew that I needed to break up with Edward and let him go his own way. I was rational and clear headed when this thought hit me. But it only took a nano-second for the idea to completely break me down. I was a crying, utter mess in a few seconds.
I needed to pull it together before Charlie caught me like this. He would not understand my reasons and tell me to find out if Edward felt like I was holding him back. Which of course, I couldn't do, he would say no. But I knew deep down that I was, and I couldn't give him the option this time. I didn't want him to sacrifice anything for me. I knew that I would always love him, but I knew that I had to let him go.
Esme always knew what was best for her kids, and not once have I known her to be wrong. I couldn't see any other way.
I drug myself upstairs and took a shower. I cried all my tears into the running water, releasing my pent up pain. With my emotional outbreak over, I headed back down to make dinner.
Thankfully Charlie was so tired when he came in that all he wanted was to eat, shower, and sleep. I could have sprouted another head and he would not have said a word about it. I was thankful on many levels for Charlie, he had no idea. He didn't hover, and after years with Renee that was so liberating. I went up to bed and cried myself to sleep.
Monday, Edward, Alice, and Jasper showed up to drive me to school, and we all chatted about finals. Each of us felt like we were prepared for most of the exams, but there was always that one subject that we wanted a little more time for.
With studying, all the senior activities, and shopping the week went by quickly. Before I knew it, it was Friday and Charlie was calling for me to get a move on or we would be late.
I had a full blown case of nerves; my time was running out, and I knew I had to tell Edward soon. I decided that I would tell Edward Sunday afternoon. That way we could celebrate graduation; have all day Saturday shopping with him and Alice, then go to the party Saturday night. Then on Sunday we could go to lunch, and I would drop the bomb. I had to wait until then so I could make a few more memories with him to hold on to. So I pushed down the nerves and plastered a smile on my face.
Once Charlie and I arrived at the auditorium, I left him to find my place in line. Everyone seemed so happy and the joy was apparent on their faces. It pushed me into my own corner, knowing I would never look back on this day and remember any happiness. I would always know that it was the beginning of the end.
After all of the pomp and circumstance was over, I ran to Edward and hugged him. I buried my face into his shoulder and cried with all that I had.
"Bella, don't cry, love. Please, it'll be alright, it's just graduation from high school. We have our whole lives ahead of us, all the fun stuff." He leaned back and wiped the tears from my face. "Let's look forward and not back. You know I love you, right? I won't let anything happen to you, so smile for me. I love your smile."
His face showed the sincerity in his words and they caused more heartbreak and more tears. How could I doubt him? The love shown in his eyes, and for a moment, I really wondered how our future would be if I just stayed with him. How bad would I hurt his future? Could I keep him, and he still find happiness?
I needed to stop this train of insanity. There was no way I could stay with him. He needs to be able to make his way without the baggage I'll bring for him. He is standing there showing me how great he is, and I'm considering keeping him from his full potential.
What a great girlfriend you are Bella!
I'm not sure how I ever ended up with him. I knew I didn't deserve him, and that I had to let him go, but not until Sunday. He slowly pulled way and looked deep into my eyes.
"Bella, are you sure you're feeling better? I've felt like something was not quite right all week. Can I help you with anything? You know I'm here for you don't you?"
"Edward, of course I know that you're here for me. I don't know, I think I'm just a little sentimental about the changes is all. I'll be fine. I think it might be a good idea that I'm heading off to Dartmouth right away for the summer semester. That way I can get used to the changes and settled in by the time most of the other students get there." There was no harm setting the scene for him, letting his mind get used to the idea that soon I would be gone. "Hopefully I can snag a great job also, you know before all the returning students take them." I offered as much as I could to try to begin to convince him that this was for the best. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine, just a lot to process. It will just take some time to adjust."
I tried to give him the smile he requested, I don't know if it looked sincere, I hoped so. I wanted us to have the rest of the weekend to have fun!
"As long as you're fine. Go eat with Charlie, and I'll see you tomorrow for the great shopping adventure. Alice wants to head out at the crack of dawn, so get some rest. You still look tired. I hope your bug is gone. I won't let her push you too hard tomorrow, I promise." His eyes perused my face and down the front of my body. I could feel the heat that they gave off as they took me in. And just as quickly he ripped his eyes away from mine and stared off into space.
His eyes became dark and when he turned his face back to me, his face hid the emotions I know he felt.
"Do you know how much I love you? I know I don't want you to leave right away, but you might be right about getting the good jobs and getting settled." He gently kissed my nose and stepped back from me. I missed his body heat already. "I'll see you tomorrow morning. Tell Charlie hello for me. I love you."
With a sound kiss he was off, just as Charlie caught up to me and gave me a big bear hug. He rushed me off to the diner so we could get there before they filled up and we had to wait.
Charlie had lots of questions about dates, times, and info he felt was required for his peace of mind. He was wonderful at interrogations, and I understood that he needed to know all of this. Patiently, I answered all of his questions, while he came to grips with losing his daughter to college so soon. He wasn't happy about the quick departure, but he agreed that it would be easier for me to get settled with the lower number of students there. He thought that the job was a great idea; plus, he felt it would keep me from doing too much socializing. Good old Charlie, trying to keep me in line, some things never change.
Edward was right- Alice started at the crack of dawn, I'm not even sure the chickens were up at this time of day. She did, however, have coffee, so I forgave her…a little. After half my cup of coffee and a pop tart, I think I was finally waking up. So I ventured to ask Alice for our details for today. Big mistake!
"Oh, Bella, I had no idea you were so happy about our shopping trip. Hmmm, let's see… first we'll head into the mall and see what they offer." She drug a notepad out of her over sized purse and began to write. She was probably keeping notes on her plans for the shopping trip, if only she kept as detailed notes on her school work and she will be fine. "I think we should be able to find most of our linens and such there. Wait, should we go to the outlet mall first?" She began to scribble furiously as she spoke again, "Hmmm, we have about an hour before we get there, so I'll figure this out before we arrive. Is that cool with you Bella?" Without taking a breath, she then launched into a conversation with Edward. "Hey Edward, can we stop for a real breakfast? You know the little diner I love with the awesome french toast, right?"
"Of course, Alice, we all love the place. I'm not sure why you think you're the only one. Besides…I don't think Bella has been there yet." He then turned to face me and asked, "Bella, would you be up for a stop? I can promise the best french toast you'll ever eat!" Then he did the one thing that did me in, he smiled that smile that I can't resist. So I did the only thing I could, I nodded with as much enthusiasm as my attached head would allow. The nod was met with a squeal from Alice, and she began to bounce up and down in her seat. Edward just grabbed my hand and smiled at me again. I would do anything to see that smile all day long. I was a sucker for that smile!
After breakfast, we were on the road to our final destination. Alice finally decided that we could go to the mall first, then the outlet mall, and finally on to the office supply store. That would be our big stop. We all needed new computers, printers, and all the stuff you need to do butt loads of college term papers.
By the time we were done, we all had a full dorm room full of necessities. All of course, color coordinated, and Alice was about as happy as I have ever seen her. I can only imagine, she shopped for all three of us, and she still had to take Jasper shopping for his stuff. I'm sure that she was close to shopping euphoria.
I was dropped off at my house so I could show off all of my stuff to Charlie, and I could get dressed for the party. I'm sure that Alice was hoping that I would give in and allow her to dress me up for this part, but that isn't happening. I think I'll miss being Bella Barbie, and I know I'll miss all the girl talks we have.
I started questioning what Alice and I would have once I break it off with Edward. There was no way I could maintain the closeness that we had now, that thought once again brought on the tears. Uncontrollable sobbing fits were a more accurate description.
I finally calmed myself down with a hot shower and the assurance that Alice and I could maintain some relationship since none of us would be in the same city. I could do most of my communications with her by phone, and that won't bother Edward. I knew there was no way I could lose her and Edward at the same time. Once again my life was out of my control, and I wasn't real sure how to reel it back in. All I could do was hope that it all worked out just fine.
I made quick work of the ritual of getting ready for the party. I already had the outfit planned, and hair and makeup never took me that long. I was on the road again in no time, heading towards Edward's house and my head was already pounding.
I was determined to have the time of my life and enjoy tonight. Tomorrow would take care of itself, tonight was mine. Tonight was one of the few times I was cursing my slow truck and wishing I drove a certain silver Volvo. It would definitely get me to him faster, and that is all I wanted tonight, was him.
As I pulled into the drive, he was standing on the front porch waiting for me. I swear it was like he could read my mind, he always knew when I was approaching. I took him in as I parked and couldn't believe the sight before me. It was like I was looking at him for the first time. Every time I saw him, I saw something new to marvel at and be once again amazed that he is with me. I returned his smile and jumped headlong into my night.
"Bella, you look … I don't even think I have words for you tonight. Did Charlie see you tonight before you left?" I could see his mind stuttering as he was grasping for words. His hands running through his hair as he stumbled for his words. His face showed his amazement. I loved that I could make him this way. I felt on an even playing field with him when he was like this.
"Of course. I said goodbye and told him I'd be home in the morning. I told him I didn't want to make the drive in the middle of the night, on a dark road, with my old truck. I think he really thinks that there will be drinking there, and I'm afraid to drive after I had been drinking." Edward's hand found my waist and began pulling me close to him as I spoke. It caused a momentary stutter as my brain took in his wonderful scent. "H…He gave me the whole 'I know you're a good girl and can make good decisions' speech. Either way I promised to call before heading off to bed, and he let me out, so I said something right. Is there gonna be drinking?" I wasn't sure if I was ready to be drunk on my last night with Edward, I wanted to remember everything.
"We don't have any alcohol for the party, but I know Lauren's parents keep some in the house. So who knows! We can just dance and have fun. There's always the heated pool as well, if you want to swim. I know I'm looking forward to swimming with you. That is if you want to." He looked so nervous, and I really wasn't sure why. We have had sex a few times and seen each other naked, so for him to be nervous with me swimming made me think something else is going on.
"Swimming is fine, why are so nervous? We have seen each other naked before. Why does a bathing suit do that to you?" I leaned in as I said this. No one knew for sure if we were having sex, and I didn't want anyone to have any rumors to spread. I know Jessica and Lauren would love that, to be able to spill all our little secrets. Okay, our big secret, but either way I was keeping this between Edward and me.
I loved every time we were together and it was so special, I didn't want to share that… not even with Alice. If Edward told her, I wouldn't be angry, but I couldn't share what was between us. I leaned in a little more, hopefully encouraging him to think about us together and encouraging it to happen again. I would love to feel him one more time for my memories. He was such a perfect match for me, and while I didn't have much experience to go on, I knew that we were great together.
"Well, it has been a while since our last time and I wasn't sure if you were somehow unhappy about last time. I wasn't, at all, and I was hoping you had as much fun as I did. But you haven't said anything about it in a long time, or made any moves towards me, so I was wondering if I did anything wrong." He glanced up at me from beneath his lashes and I would have followed him to the ends of the earth at that moment. "Besides isn't that very cliché, for us to do it on graduation night? I just want us to have fun and enjoy being together, so if that is without us having sex, that's okay with me."
Man, he was so cute when he was stumbling on himself. I couldn't resist teasing him for a while longer.
"Edward, I was thinking that maybe a few clichés are probably good to go with, just not all of them. So the only thing is now which of the clichés do we choose to go with and which do we ignore? Why don't you tell me which ones you think are worthy…then I can tell you mine and see if any of them match." Of course this was said in a light whisper directly into his ear, with a little pant added just to stir the fire I was sure was already at a full burn. For added measure, I batted my eyelashes while twirling a lock of hair around my finger. How more school-girl-fantasy could I get, which I knew he had fantasized about for a while, thanks to an overheard conversation between him and Emmett about a year ago.
He stammered and sputtered for a few seconds and then spat out, "Graduation night sex is probably the only one we need to worry about, all the others are so overrated that we probably shouldn't bother. What's your opinion?" All said in one breath, just like his sister-he was channeling the pixie-how cute.
Just as I was about to give my opinion, I heard the two voices I could have lasted all night without, Mike and Jessica's. And they were approaching at a quick pace. I leaned back away from Edward but took his hand in mine. I braced myself for the conversation with the two village idiots.
"Edward, Bella, come and join us. We have a new drinking game and have taken down three couples already. So is the 'power couple' up for it? Think you can handle it?" Mike's voice had a way of making you want to stab your own eardrums just to avoid the pain of it, and with the added alcohol, it only doubled the sensation. I was scanning the room for an excuse for a quick getaway excuse for us both, but Edward just tugged on my hand and responded to Mike.
"Wait, did you just say yes to them?" I pulled away from his hand in shock. "I thought we were going to go swimming. Wasn't that our plan?" I pleaded with Edward, I couldn't think of a worse way to spend our night than playing stupid drinking games with the only two people I wanted to avoid. Besides as level headed as Edward was, when you add a competition into the mix, he became another being. I guess that was a byproduct of living with Emmett all his life.
"Yeah Bella, don't worry we can take them. It'll be over soon and then we can swim." He leaned in close to me and whispered into my ear, "Besides, I think that a little drinking will be good before we spend our time together, don't you? Loosen us up and allow us to not worry about all the nervous energy that we usually have." His hot breath panting into my ear was making me wish that we could be alone right now. "Just the thought of feeling you is making me a wreck inside, so I think I need the help, please Bella, please say yes for me?"
And so I did the only thing I could when he used that voice and that smile. I agreed with a big fat sloppy kiss.
I think that Mike and Jessica were cheating, because after two rounds, Edward was almost drunk. I had managed to get good cards, well, good enough cards that kept me from drinking as much. But poor Edward was not so lucky, and the sad part was that most of the cards I had to discard were the ones that made him drink. I finally was able to drag him away, and he just had to admit that Mike and Jessica had won. I knew that admitting that killed him, but I wanted our time and he finally was able to understand my reasons.

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