FIM-Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Bella

I remember the day well. I packed and threw out stuff. I loaded my suitcases on a conveyer belt and watched it disappear. The overhead speaker couldn’t call me fast enough to tell me that it was time to load on the plane. My body tingled with the extreme surrealness that I felt. I knew in my heart that I done the right thing. At least I think I did.

I had turned my back on all that I knew.

I broke up with Edward.

I left my home.

I left my father.

For a new town and big time college dreams.

I thought I had it all planned out. I saw the movies, read the books and heard the stories. I thought I knew what would happen. I was ready. College would be my time of discovery. I would find out who I was and what I wanted out of life. Surely more waited for me at college. There just had to be…more.

Don’t get me wrong, Forks was great. I had a good time, I had good friends and I had a good boyfriend. It was just good though. I wanted more. You can’t blame me, everyone in the small town of Forks knew that there was more out there, somewhere. They just had to find out where it is and grab it when they came across it.

When I arrived at the main door of my building there were several girls that burst through the door then spilled outside onto the grass that surrounded. I sat in the cab and watched the fun for a few seconds. I made up my mind right then and there that I would be the person I left Forks to be. I would be out going, fun, flirty, in other words all the things I was not normally.

It worked.

I made friends, I had dates and eventually settled down with Jacob. He was from La Push, right down the road from Forks. That was why I originally said yes to his invitation for a date. After a few dates I realized that I chose him because he was the person that I wanted to be. He was loved by everyone, he was kind, caring and out-going. Our relationship was so easy.

Jake did his thing and I did mine. If we ended up seeing each other that day then fine but if not then we didn’t. There was never any pressure. We concentrated on our studies and we both did well. The first year we were at school I took Jake home to meet my dad and then we drove down the road and I met Billy, Jake’s dad.

To say our families were happy was an understatement. We all were happy. I felt like I made the right choice to leave Edward in order to find all of this. It was safe to say that without that one single decision I would not have ended up here.

Eventually Jacob and I moved in together. Jake fast tracked and was ready to graduate, while I still had a year left. He was offered several jobs and took the one that offered the largest salary. He went to work every day and I went to school. We lived and enjoyed our life. It felt so casual and easy. So many of my friends marveled at the perfectness of it. They longed for what we had but I didn’t know how to tell them to achieve it. Somehow or another it just happened for us.

Jacob and I had talked about marriage but both of us were reluctant to change what we had. We didn’t want a piece of paper to dictate us. We knew what we were and that was good enough for us. Since Jacob and I both only had our dad’s in our lives it was easy for us to avoid the topic of marriage. My dad was happy with the way Jake took care of me, provided for me and his dad was happy that we were in love with each other. So marriage never seemed that big of a deal to either of us.

Then three things happened in my life within quick succession of each other that changed my mind. First my mother died. She lay down to sleep one night and never woke up. Eventually they were able to tell us that she had a brain aneurysm that ruptured. She went immediately and never felt pain. I was thankful to hear that she never suffered but I wasn’t ready to let her go. I’m sure that most people were never ready to lose their mother, no matter what age it happens. I certainly wasn’t. I was struck by the finality of it all when she died. I had hoped that one day, no matter how crazy the idea was, that my parents would realize that they were wrong all those years ago and get back together. That was the stuff that Disney fairy tales were made of but it never stopped the idea from residing in my mind.

My mother left my father when I was a baby. We moved across the country to Phoenix. The older I got the more I felt like I became the mother and the more she became the child. She tended to wander from hobby to hobby, while she taught elementary school for her paycheck. She even stuck with the small kids because she was too wild and crazy for the older ones. Eventually I paid the bills, cooked, and cleaned the house.

Each time I think about my childhood, I see why I needed to have my ‘more’ now because from the time I was ten or so I was an adult. I guess I just wanted to be wild and carefree for while.

You would think that with my background I would hate my mom, or even mildly disliked her. The exact opposite was the truth. She was my voice of emotion while my dad was my voice of reason. My mom could be counted on to tell me the wild and crazy option to take. She was a live for the moment kinda girl and she tried her best to get me to live that way as well. I had to admit that she didn’t get her way that often. I was too died in the wool grown up that I couldn’t ever allow myself to let loose and have fun. She was also my staunchest supporter. She believed in me and gave a pep talk that would have the weakest person ready to believe that they could take on the world alone, and win. She never failed to encourage and lift me up.

With her gone a large part of me was missing. I talked to her all the time and ran most of my decisions by her. I missed her more than words could express. Jake tried to understand and help me cope. He sort of understood because he also lost his mom at a young age. I say he understood and he sort of did but not completely. He was so young when his mom died that he had not been able to develop his relationship with her and he is a guy. So there is always a difference.

Her death shook me to my core. I was able to carry on day to day but something just seemed off. I felt off kilter. Like my life has twisted in some unidentifiable way. I could never put my finger on it but it was just wrong.

Then I was almost run down by a car. I shopped for the groceries for the whole month, so it always took me awhile to get it all picked out and paid for. I was usually starved by the time they were all loaded up in my car. So, I locked the doors with my groceries safely inside and walked across the street to grab a sandwich. I ordered a club on whole wheat and a lemonade.

While I ate I read through my emails and a text from Jacob that reminded me about his afternoon meeting so he would be home later than usual. I decided that since he would be late I would shop for a little while longer. I grabbed a new dress for his office party and a few things for the apartment. Then I headed back to my car.

As I crossed the street, within the confines of the cross walk and with the light, I felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out of my pocket to check it. As I did the driver of the car did exactly the same. Unfortunately he didn’t see me in the crosswalk or his red light. He ran right through it and at the last moment a man that crossed from the other direction, pulled me out of the way. I broke my ankle and my wrist, and the gentleman that pulled me out of the way broke his arm.

The driver of the car was stopped three lights down and given a ticket.

There was no real harm done but it scared the living shit out of me all the same. I started to evaluate my life again. I paid attention to everything now, every decision, every action that Jake or I made each day. I started to write in my journal, everything thing that I used to tell my mom I now wrote down.

Each Friday night, Jake’s poker night, I would take a glass of wine and re-read my journal. I realized that what I thought was living really just amounted to hiding out. I had played it safe all this time. My mind whirled with the ways that I could make this right. What I should do? I didn’t want to hurt Jacob. I just wanted a life that would fulfill me. I felt like a big old failure. I mean I did this exact thing five years ago in order to find myself and yet here I was again, with the same plan in place to do the same thing all over again. I worried that I wouldn’t actually ever achieve what I set out for. I mean really here I was five years later, and no closer. I cried myself to sleep that night. When Jake came in I blamed it on missing my mom. He held me while I cried some more until I fell asleep exhausted.

The next morning I knew I had to make a decision and fast. I took my basket and headed to the Farmer’s Market. I prayed that I would be able to think things through and have an answer by the time I came home. Unfortunately, I hadn’t found my brilliant answer by the time that the sun was due to set and the market was officially closed, so I headed home anyway.

Jacob was on the phone when I arrived. I closed the door and made my way to the kitchen to start dinner. I heard several words that caused my heart to skip a beat but I didn’t wander into the living room to hear more. I waited for Jacob to come to me. It was his news and he should be able to share it, I also wanted to see how his face reacted to the news and I wouldn’t get that while he was on the phone. So I cooked and waited.

The food was all plated as I sat at the table and drank several glasses of wine. Probably not the best idea, but the wine settled my nerves. So many scenarios played out as to the news that Jacob would walk in and reveal. I worked each idea through and tried to come up with my line in the sand. The one thing that would make me walk away from him. I could feel the soft edges of a buzz from the wine as Jacob called out for me.

“Baby, you cooked, I’m so sorry I took so long. I swear if it wasn’t important then I would have asked them to wait until tomorrow. I hope you understand.” Jacob pulled my hand and placed a small kiss along my knuckles. “Come on, let’s eat, I have a lot to tell you.”

I warmed our plates and sat down to hear what Jacob had to say. I still felt slightly sick over my epiphany last night so to hear that he may have big news only made the feeling double up until it threatened to boil over.

After a few bites, Jacob began to talk. “Well you know that we have tried to get this large account for our firm, Peterson Electronics, well, they called this afternoon and wanted to talk. Paul came to an agreement with them and we signed a contract, today. So, in order to handle this account,” Jacob took a deep breath and time seemed to stand still as I waited to hear his next words. I’m not sure that any words had ever held more importance to me than these that I waited upon. “Paul wanted to send me and Seth to California to work directly with Peterson.” He left the sentence to hang in the air between us.

I had no idea how to react.

Part of me wanted to think that this was my opportunity to have a fresh start but then again, what if this was one of those terrible decisions that I made and then regretted. I mean look at how well the choice to leave Edward had turned out. So I also waited.

“Paul has agreed to pay for all of our expenses to move to California as well as pay our rent here until we could get out of our lease.” I pushed my food around on my plate and refused to look up at Jake as he spoke. “It’s also a large salary increase, Bella.” I looked up at those words and knew that he wanted this job. He wanted it badly. Jacob must have seen the hesitation in my eyes because he began to almost…beg for me to understand why he had to take this opportunity. “Bella, I know this is big but I’ll make partner with this change. I’ll be a senior partner with Seth as my junior associate.” He reached for my hand again. “No one else has ever made partner this soon, I mean I’m only twenty six years old and I will be a senior partner. I have to take this, Bella, it will be career suicide to turn it down.” He let go of my hand and sat back to take a sip of his wine. I did the same.

“Wow, Jake, that is just …wow. I don’t even know what to say.” I ran a hand through my hair and almost got angry. Angry, because it was a total Edward move. His signature move in fact. Why after all of this time did he come to my mind? I couldn’t answer that, at least not honestly even to myself. “Jake, can I have a little time to think this over?”

I stood and dropped my napkin to the table to cover the hardly touched food on my plate. I should worry why in the midst of all of this big news that my mind worried about the fact that I mimicked Edward’s habit. That must be it, I must have finally cracked. I was officially looney and therefore I didn’t need to worry about anything. The men in the little white coats would take care of everything!

“Sure, Bella, of course. I mean I sprung this on you without any warning. Yeah, of course.” He said it easily enough but I could hear the deeper meaning, it translated to ‘I’m going so take your time to decide your fate but mine had been made’. I just nodded and left the table. I took my laptop, my cell, my journal and car keys. I left our apartment silently as Jake washed the dishes and put away the uneaten food from our dinner. I wandered the streets until I found a hotel and checked in.

I opened the door to my room and slipped off my shoes just inside the door, and I began to pace. In fact I paced until dawn. I called my dad and talked it all out. For once he listened and didn’t offer his opinion. When I had talked my feelings out his only response was for me to do what I wanted. “Bella, I can’t tell you what to do with your life. You have to decide, all I want is for you to be happy and if you aren’t happy then you have to make a change.” That was Charlie, plain and simple.

“But what if it all goes to shit? I mean, really, I left my life in Forks so sure that this would turn out and look where I am. Five years later, no job, no hobbies and forced to choose if I stay with Jake or leave a man because he wants to take the job offer of a lifetime in California. I’m no good at making decisions for myself, come on you need to choose for me!” I half yelled and half pleaded with him. “What would mom say?” I fully pleaded this time. “She always knew what to say to me, how to make me think for myself without me realizing that I had actually done all the work, please you knew her. What would she say?” I was almost in tears at this point.

“Bella, she would say…leave him. Go, move, find a job, go on an adventure. Have fun, live life, move to the beach and sell seashells by the shore. Just be happy, baby, that’s all we’ve ever wanted for you.” Charlie sounded like he had tears mixed with his words. That thought alone made me want to crawl in his lap and let him soothe me. To be his little girl again so that he made all the choices and I just went along with them. But we both knew that it wasn’t that simple anymore.

“Dad, thanks so much. I’m sorry to call you in the middle of the night and disturb you. I appreciate that you listened to me rant.”

“Sure thing, Bella, anything for you. I mean I had a wicked card game going here with my laptop but you know you always come first in my life.” I chuckled at him. He always did have a way with words. “I love you, Bells, always have, always will.”

“I love you too, dad, thanks.” We both hung up and I crawled back into bed.

The next day I made my way home. Jake sat and stared out the window with his bag packed. It sat at his feet, it was an immediate reminder of what I needed to do as soon as I opened the front door. Our eyes met and we both knew that this was the end for us. He rushed forward and held me, I cried into his chest. Neither of us wanted to part this way but deep down inside, we both knew that it was for the best.

After some dinner and several glasses of wine to loosen our tongues, we both admitted that we knew it was going downhill. Jake actually told me that he felt it before my mom died. But he was scared that if he left me then that I would have holed up inside my shell and not ever venture out again.

“How, could you stay when you knew that you needed to get out, to go and be free?” I asked.

“It’s easy, Bella. I loved you. Love you enough to stay and enjoy life with you to protect you.” His hand slid over mine and offered comfort to me. “I never wanted to hurt you and please, don’t think that it was a terrible sacrifice to stay here with you. I love you, but I think it was more brotherly love and less hot passionate lover type love.” His eyes held the truth and I knew that he was happy with me just like I was happy with him. But we both deserved more than just happy. We deserved passion, fire, adventures and all the things that made life memorable. He stayed because he wanted me to make the decision to move on, for me to really be ready to change. So he stayed until I did, he knew eventually it would come, so he stayed. I had to agree with him, if he had left then I would have climbed inside myself and stayed there. He was far smarter than I ever gave him credit for.

We discussed how we would handle things and what each of us would keep. He called Paul and negotiated for Paul to pay for six months worth of rent on this place. That would give me time to get a job and make my own decision on where I wanted to live. I had Renee’s insurance money so I had money to live off of until all those things fell into place as well.

Bright and early Monday morning, Jake packed all the stuff he wanted and left the apartment for good. He left a list of things that he wanted me to send him once he got settled but the rest was for me to keep. I kissed his cheek as he left and told him I would never forget him. He repeated the same words and told me that when I found myself and if I still wanted him to look him up in California. He kissed my cheek and walked away.

Bright and early Tuesday morning, I started to call around for jobs. I sent out my resume and called for applications. I walked the streets and took in the sights, I went to plays and musical festivals. I attempted to find myself.

Eventually I found a job as an assistant to an editor for a small but upcoming publisher. I loved my work. I was around books and manuscripts all day long. I was smart, witty and gave my opinion.

Now, this didn’t happen all at once, but over time and with the help of Kate, my boss, I eventually became who I wanted to be, me. I was smart, sophisticated and very happy.

I flew back to Forks for my father’s thirtieth anniversary party as Chief of Police. Charlie started with the force right out of high school and worked for five years before he became Chief when the Chief died. I was born the year after he became Chief. It was the only life I knew for him and I felt proud of him for his accomplishments, so I gladly flew in for his party.

I shopped for a few hours before he picked me up in Port Angeles, as I still had not found his present yet.

In the bookstore I ran into Alice Cullen or Alice Whitlock now. Alice and I were best friends in high school, at first it was by default since I dated her brother, Edward, but eventually it was without effort that we spent time together. It was so good to see her again. She married Jasper Whitlock, her high school sweetheart and Edward’s best friend. She told me about her life now, her clothing line and her two boys. How she lived part time in Seattle and part time in Forks. Jasper was a lawyer and had his practice in Seattle, as well as her boutique. But they decided when the boys were born that they wanted a small town to raise them in, so they bought a house in Forks with her mom and dad.

I bragged on my job and how I loved my new apartment. I also asked about Edward, Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett and Rosalie broke up for awhile but eventually got back together and got married. They were trying to have a baby, but it looked like they may end up adopting.

Edward was still single. She showed me some of his pictures that he took on her phone and I had to admit that he was brilliant with his camera. He always was. Alice shared a little about a few of girlfriends between our relationship in high school and now, looked like he had always been sort of restless as well. Nothing ever stuck for him. Alice told me he was doing well and would be home in about two months. Right now he was in the Middle East to cover some of the war and the devastation it had on the countryside and the people. I was scared for him to be there in those conditions but Alice assured me that he was way behind the fighting. He went to places after the fighting was done to document the effects, so he was safe. She took all of my contact information and begged me to sign up for the group on Facebook that had all of the info for our tenth year reunion.

We both joked that we had a hard time with the fact that it had been actually been ten years since we had graduated from high school but a quick check of my age and I was convinced easily enough. I assured her I would check out the group and stay in touch before we parted ways when Charlie came by to collect me.

I was astonished when a few weeks later Alice did email me and began to share details of the reunion. The school agreed to allow us to take a tour and have lunch with our teachers, we would do an old fashioned field day, and then we would cap off our weekend with a dance. I was actually excited to see all of the old faces and asked about the people that had already R.S.V.P’ed. Alice named off the list but one important name was not on that list.

I asked about Emmett and Rose, Rose had graduated with us so I pretended to be interested in their presence and then I casually threw out Edward’s name. Alice told me that Edward would be in Spain for National Geographic then he had a magazine shoot to do right after that so he would be gone the whole entire month of the reunion. I was crushed, I really wanted to see him. Alice offered his contact info and I declined, I didn’t want to be pushy. If his life was okay without me then I didn’t want to insert myself. But I did promise her that I would come to the reunion anyway.

Over the next several months we talked, texted or emailed back and forth. The closer to the reunion the more excited I became. I booked my flight and hotel room. I packed and before I knew it, it was time to head to the airport. I called Alice just before I shut my phone off for my flight.

“Hey you, are you at the airport?” She answered.

“Yep, just about to board and wanted to make sure you could pick me up from the airport since Charlie would be tied up. If not then I could always take a cab.” I offered.

“Bell Swan, don’t you dare, Rose and I will be there to get you. Besides I have a surprise for you anyway. See you soon, I’m so excited.” She threw all that out there without a single stop for air, it’s a wonder she didn’t pass out when she gots excited. The overhead speaker came alive to announce boarding for my flight.

“Hey, Alice, got to go, they just called for boarding, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, be safe.” She called out before she hung up. It almost made my heart stop because it was what Edward would tell me all the time when we dated. I wanted to be upset that he wouldn’t be there but I just chalked it up to fate and let it go. No since worrying over spilt milk, right?

The flight was uneventful, I read on my Kindle and listened to my iPod. They both were absolute necessities for a flight if you ask me. Alice picked me up and we drove straight to the hotel where we would all stay. I dropped off my bags and we picked up Rosalie. After that we made our way to the spa to get haircuts, mani-pedi’s and anything else we could think of.

It turned into a real girl’s day. Several of the other girls from school joined us and we all ended up eating lunch and chatting together. It was so funny because we would never have sat with any of these girls in high school. I guess we do get wiser with age and lay aside all those silly notions of who and what is important.

I looked forward to all the festivities of this weekend and the ability to get to know the people that helped shape who I was again.

FIM- Chapter 2

Fade Into Me

Chapter 2-Edward

I finally called a wrap on the shoot when Charlotte threatened to kill me if I offered one more suggestion to anyone. Maria’s eyes danced with amusement as I cowered down to her and yelled at Peter that we were done. Maria and Charlotte moved back behind the make shift curtain to get her all dressed again while Peter and I cleaned up the equipment and light filters.

Our clean-up was done way before Maria’s would ever be. The paint as it turned out wasn’t so easy to clean off. I promised to wait for Maria as Peter and Charlotte tried to rush back to catch a flight back to New York for another job.

Maria made her way out from behind the curtain and I saw that she simply put on a man’s white dress shirt and a pair of jean shorts on over her painted on t-shirt. Her hair blew in the late afternoon breeze and she looked beautiful.

“Hey,” I whispered when she approached me. “Peter and Charlotte had to catch a flight back to New York tonight so they took off.” I hitched my thumb back behind me to further explain my words. I had no idea why I was suddenly shy around her.

“Yeah Charlotte mentioned it earlier in make-up. It’s a shame, I hoped to have some dinner with them since I don’t know anyone else here in town.” She curled her full lips up into a pout.

“I thought your family lived here, aren’t you from here?” I stammered.

“Years ago they did, my dad moved my mom to Miami when all of us kids moved away from home. So, no one is here anymore.”

“Oh.” Was the brilliant response my brain chose.

“Are you staying?” she asked attentively.

“Yeah, I don’t have a flight out till tomorrow evening.” Her eyes lit up until she heard the ending of my sentence, apparently she didn’t like the fact that I was leaving tomorrow evening.

“Oh.” It was her turn for a brilliant response.

“Why don’t we get dinner since I don’t know anyone and neither do you?” My brain finally caught up with my body.

“Okay, can we stop by my house so I can change since this is…you know…” Her words trailed off and I realized that the longer the paint stayed on the more it flaked off. Soon she would be bare to the whole world.

“Oh, sure. Lead the way. I walked though.” I grabbed my two bags and we headed off towards the parking area.

“No problem, since I drove.”

When we were firmly settled in the car and she had maneuvered out into traffic I asked the question that I was dying to know. “Why do you keep a house here if no other family lives here?”

“I love it here, I feel free. No one really pays that much attention to me and I feel normal. No gawkers here.” She shifted her Audi and I watched as her arm muscles tightened and relaxed. I was in deep for this girl and we had only known each other for a few hours. I guess this is what Bella meant when she said live a little. I hoped it was anyway. Because this is what I wanted, no preplanned thoughts, just acting out each moment without thought.

Maria unlocked her door and moved directly through the house and to the patio out back. She pulled her shirt off and threw it across a lounge chair as she passed it. She also dropped her shorts to show me that she still wore her blue bikini bottoms to match her painted on shirt. She turned on the outdoor shower and began to wash the flaky paint off of her body. I stood and watched. I wanted to turn away but her body called to me and I couldn’t move even if my life had depended on it.

She brushed the last of the paint off of her body as she caught my eyes. I tried not to look at her now bare breasts but I couldn’t stop myself. She smirked when she caught my gaze flick down and back up again. “You’ve seen them all damn day. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt for you see them now.” She shrugged again. I shrugged back. Thankfully her bottoms stayed on because I wasn’t sure what would have happened if she had removed those and stood there bare assed naked with me this close to her. I did not have that much restraint.

She drove us again to dinner, something casual as I still had on my shorts and button up shirt that I had worn all day. She was dressed in a flowing sundress that showed off her perfect breasts again with some sandals that hugged her feet. I felt like a Victorian aged freak as I ogled her feet like they were forbidden from view like years before. But they were just as perfect as the rest of her body and I knew that they were attached to her shins which were attached to her thighs which were attached to her…well you get the idea. It wasn’t the feet and ankles it was all of her. I was officially horny!

All through out dinner we talked and I found out that Maria was not just a pretty face but very intelligent as well. She discussed the new discovery at the unearthed tomb in Egypt, the national deficit, the presidential candidates that would run for office in the next two years as well as several new books that I had read. I was blown away. She also revealed that she had a history degree from Yale and wanted to travel the word sightseeing and not working. At some point our hands had found their way across the table to tangle together again. It was okay with me that they did.

When dinner was over I suddenly felt sad that my time with her had to come to an end. I wanted more, more time and more of her. She eased my nerves when she asked if I wanted to come back to her place for a while. I said yes, it certainly beat staying in at my room beating off to her memory. This way I at least stood a chance at making out with her.

Maria opened her door and I held it for her to enter before me. Just as I stepped through she spun around to face me and pushed the door closed behind me. Her body came in contact with mine and she used her weight and my surprise to push me against the wall. Her kissable lips met mine and I wasted no time in diving in with her. Her mouth opened to me and I pushed my tongue inside of her. I prayed that it would not be the only thing that I pushed into her tonight. Her hands gripped my arms as she moved her pelvis back and forth across mine. I moaned into her open mouth.

“Maria, what are you doing to me?”

Her eyes matched the smile on her face.

“Stay with me, Edward?”

I wanted to explain that this wasn’t the kind of thing that I normally did, and how I wasn’t prepared to stay with her. But her mouth halted all of those thoughts when she leaned forward and sucked my tongue out of my mouth and into hers. I just nodded my acceptance at her. She smiled again. Her hands left my fore arms and began to unbutton my shirt. I wanted her out of her dress but I had no idea how to do it. I didn’t know if I should just pull it up and over her head or pull it down, or…hell I was lost so I’d let her take care of that part. Hands, tiny hands, ran over my chest as she teased my nipples and lightly scraped her nails across my abs. I couldn’t help but suck in a shaky breath as I imagined her hands going lower, as they would scrape across other parts of me.

For a moment I pondered if I should be nervous about the fact that Maria would only be the second person that I had slept with, and then I pushed that thought out of my mind. She was responding to me just as much as I responded to her, so that put all inadequacy fears out of my mind. “Fuck,” I mumbled as she did indeed lower her hands and brushed against my hard cock outside of my clothes.

“Damn, Edward. You make me so crazy.” She panted as I placed open mouthed kisses along her neck while she craned her head to give me more room. “I don’t do this you know? Take home guys, I mean.”

“I know, baby, me either.” I tried to kiss her neck again as she pushed me away.

“No, I mean it, this has never happened to me before. I have never wanted,” she waved her hands between me and her, “before. Ever.”

I withdrew my hand from her thigh under her dress and touched her cheek with the back of my fingers. “Me either, seriously.” My fingers glided along her skin and she took a few minutes to think things through. Her forehead pushed up against mine and I wrapped my other hand around her neck to hold her to me. I knew I wasn’t in love with her but I could certainly see myself as I enjoyed life with Maria. She had something about her that pulled out all the right qualities in me. I liked who I was with her and we had only been together for less than twelve hours.

Her smile alerted me to the decision that she made and I leaned in to kiss her again. When our lips parted, I whispered, “We can stop if you want to.” Her head shook its denial immediately and I smiled because I didn’t want to stop either.

“No, come with me, okay?” She stepped back and pulled my hand towards the back of the house. I followed willingly.

Her bed was massive, white and looked like a cloud had settled here on earth. It was surrounded by pale blue walls with white billowy curtains. She stopped to open the glass doors that looked out onto the beach so that the breeze flowed through and danced the curtains up and around the room. Her hair followed suit with the curtains. It all felt magical and electrified.

We stopped by the bed and she pushed my opened shirt off of my arms and I wrapped them around her. My hand found its way back under her skirt and pushed it up to her waist. I hitched her leg around my waist and dipped my body so that my hard cock lined up with her before I pushed them against each other. Her moan was my reward. She was practically wrapped around me. I lowered us both to the edge of the bed. She settled her hips right across my erection. The pleasure was sweet and yet torture all at the same time. It was like a starving man that had to watch someone eat a meal through a glass window, it was close enough to almost get to it and yet not be able to. I wanted her in the worst way.

When my hand fumbled through the straps of her dress several times as I tried to figure out how to take it off of her, she gave in and helped me. I felt so silly when she simply pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. That thought was immediately replaced when I took in her beautiful body. Sure, I had seen it all day in various states of undressed as we took picture after picture. That was different in my mind; that was work. This was pleasure, this time I could enjoy what she offered, earlier I couldn’t. Earlier we were coworkers. Now, well now we’re lovers.

I buried my head into the crook of her neck and showered her with kisses again as my hand tentatively reached up to touch her breast. I took the full weight of it in my hand and pressed my thumb back and forth across the hard nipple. Her sweet body was so damn responsive and she reacted to every single thing I did. I felt like the greatest lover alive because I knew that she made those sounds, those reactions based on things I had done to her. It spurred me on even further. I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked it gently then harder when she arched against me.

“Oh, Edward,” she sighed. I wrapped my hand around her other breast and tweaked her nipple. I made sure to alternate from one to the other to keep her excited. Maria looked glorious as she sat across my lap with her upper body bare to me, her head thrown back in ecstasy and her body responded to each movement by mine. When her head dropped back to a normal position she reached for my belt. I sat back and allowed her to do as she pleased. Her tiny hands looked so tan against the pale white skin of my stomach.

On Tuesday morning when I woke up Maria laid beside me but she stared out at the rain that was running down the outside of her windows. The one glass door that we had left open last night was now the entry point for the rain that had run down the billowy curtains as it pooled on the hardwoods. To most people it would seem as if this was a dampener on the day but for us it was perfect. Maria was pressed up against my chest as I placed kisses along her body and played with her long beautiful hair.

The rain seemed to wash away the pasts we both had lived through and made everything new again. We both got to start off with a fresh new beginning, right here in this bed, with each other and the rain. The entire day was spent in bed with each other. Several times we left it to pull together a make shift meal for ourselves but other than that we were cocooned with each other.

We talked about any and everything; I was never in fear of sharing what I really wanted out of life because there were no expectations with Maria. I couldn’t disappoint her; she had no preconceived notions about me, she just listened to me and told me about herself. It was open and honest, probably the most honest conversation I had ever had. I relished every single second of it. It was what I had craved for so long yet never really knew that this was what it was. Now that I look at it what I thought was the need for order and perfection was actually the exact opposite. I wanted truth, but at the same time I wanted chaos and uncertainty. I wanted to live on the edge and relish the feel of the wind as it blew through my hair. I was just too fucking scared to let go of the handles on life and actually step out there to the edge.

It rained throughout the night and we lay awake late making love and listening to the thunder and the waves roll in. Each time with her showed me that life could be good, it could be all I wanted even if that meant that I spent it without Bella beside me.

Maria showered once we finally made it out of bed while I let everyone know that I had decided to stay for a few extra days in Charleston. I pulled out my camera and took several shots of the rain as it rolled down the windows and the way it made the sea rougher as it crashed against the shore. It looked fresh and new like this was the first time I saw it and it all held new meaning for me. I don’t know how or why but it just did. I couldn’t wait to get out in it and soak it all up. To fill myself to the point of being bloated with it so that just in case this feeling disappeared when I left here I would have some to take with me to last me for a while.

We wrapped our coats around us and walked all around town. We stopped by a lighthouse and visited the museum that resided on the ground floor. We danced in the light rain as we left, the tourist group that left with us laughed at the fools we appeared to be. It felt incredible. Maria felt incredible.

Her lips were soft and sweet as she welcomed my kisses. No matter where or when I kissed her she welcomed it. It was so different than Bella. Bella was too scared to kiss me unless we were completely alone, we didn’t make love unless we were in total darkness and we didn’t share things unless they were common knowledge anyway. Both of us were too damn scared to let go of anything long enough to actually enjoy life, we simply existed not lived.

I shook off any thoughts of Bella as Maria pulled me towards a small boardwalk. We rode the wooden roller coaster and laughed until our sides hurt. We ate junk food and drank red slushies until our mouths were coated in the sweet syrup. That was my favorite time to kiss Maria when she tasted like cherry syrup. Occasionally I slipped my camera out of my pocket and took pictures of her and the scenery. I didn’t know if I would want the proof of this week when it was all over or not but I took them anyway.

After our dinner of corn dogs and sodas we had salt-water taffy for desert. I took Maria back to her house and made love to her again, several times, it was the perfect evening.

Wednesday was clear and bright so we put on our swimsuits and made our way down to the beach. First we walked hand in hand, again we talked about what ever came to mind. We discussed her career and where she wanted to go with it. We discussed mine and all the things I had seen throughout my travels. We shared all the places that we wanted to go and see. Amazingly they were so similar so we made fake plans to go and see them, to do the things that we saw in the brochures.

I was pretty certain that we wouldn’t ever make it to these places together and somehow that was okay with me. I wasn’t stupid enough to fool myself into thinking that Maria and I were a forever kind of thing. She was here with me now and that was enough. I didn’t care about later, only now.

Thursday dawned and reality seemed to seep back in little by little. As each hour ticked off we both became aware of the fact that I flew away from her tomorrow. We showered together, we touched, memorized and connected again while we could. After our skin became too pruny to stay in the shower we put on our suits and laid out by the pool in her yard. She read, while I edited photos I took all along the week on my laptop. I paid a few bills and then confirmed my flight.

I shut the laptop and moved off of my chair, I made my way to her lounge chair. Without a word between us I pushed her back and untied her bathing suit. Without regret I pushed into her and relished the feeling of tranquility between us. Our hands interlocked, our eyes never left each other. It was intense, passionate and real, yet fleeting all at the same time.

I appreciated the way neither of us promised more than the time we had, neither of us pretended that there would be more. We couldn’t promise that and there was no need to lie. We took it for what it was, without the pretense of anything more. I knew it wasn’t love and part of me wanted to feel guilty for the sex that we had because I wasn’t feeling that important emotion. I should feel like it was wrong but I couldn’t feel that at all. Each and every time I pushed into her I learned more about myself. With each shared orgasm I dropped a piece of the wall I built and became the person that I wanted to be. So how could I feel regret, guilt, sadness, shame or any other useless emotion for that? I couldn’t!

I wouldn’t spend my life with Maria but I would never forget her, she has made me into the man I should have always been just by spending five days with her.

Friday arrived and the sky chose that day to rain again. We lay in bed and listened to it all morning. Neither of us said much, it was too heavy to speak through. When I was all packed and ready to go she walked me to the sidewalk and bid me goodbye. I stepped to the curb and hailed a cab. As I opened the back door and I pushed my bag inside she called out my name. I wanted to turn around and rush back to her. To pack her stuff up and bring her back with me but that wasn’t meant to be. We were meant to have only what we had.

I did step back to meet her and kissed her with every emotion I felt within me. The sadness, happiness, uncertainty, regret, gloom, resolve, optimism and fondness. “I’m so glad we had this time, you will never know how much it has meant to me. I will never forget a single second of it.” I told her as my forehead pressed against hers.

“Me either.” Her deep sigh showed me that there was baggage in her life as well. I didn’t ask and she didn’t ask about mine. We weren’t ready to be more but we were happy with what we had. “Call me sometime. Let me know how you are and if you’re happy again.” I nodded as our bodies separated and I held her hand until our fingers couldn’t reach anymore.

I replayed every single second of our week as I made my way back to the airport. The beach, the pool, the lighthouse, the pier, the boardwalk, the sights, the sounds, the tastes, all of it. I can taste it, I can feel it, smell it all. In some ways the time seems to blur, except every second and every word, every drop of rain and every single grain of sand. I will live those days over and over again until I find a memory that is better to fill that spot. But I will never be sorry, never.

I arrived back in New York to a bright clear night. I wanted the feel of the rain to remind me but it wasn’t there. I would need to remind myself. Remind my brain that just because the week is over and Maria is gone that doesn’t mean that person that I became has to be gone as well. I have to make myself remember so I will always be that person. A person that is worthy of a lifetime, a person that makes that special girl feel like she is the only person alive when we are together, a soul mate for someone else so that I can have all of the dreams that I was too afraid to dream before now.

I dropped my bag, pulled off my coat and walked out into the New York night, ready to live. Finally, really live all thanks to Maria.

MAT- Chapter 4

Edward

Before I knew it, the day of the dinner party was upon us. Bella was busy with the caterer in the kitchen, so when the doorbell rang, I went to answer the door. I knew it Peter and Charlotte. Bella and I decided it would be best to refer to her as Charlotte given the setting and people we would be socializing with tonight. In fact, one of Bella's bosses would be here, so, our foursome needed to maintain a business-like façade. I for one was ready to ditch the whole thing and just take off to the cabin, but I couldn't hurt Bella's feelings after all the hard work she'd put into making this party a success.

I opened the door to find Peter and Charlotte just as I suspected. They were about thirty minutes earlier than everyone else so we could help them settle in our guest room without prying eyes. I leaned down and gave Charlotte a quick kiss on her cheek and a hand shake to Peter. He leaned in to kiss my cheek and I responded with the same action. I had to admit Peter and I had definitely grown closer since the last time we saw each other. I felt free around him, like I could be myself without any judgments. This wasn't the time to go into detail, but I had a lot to tell them, including Bella. In the several weeks that had passed since our last encounter, I had time to think things over and came to several conclusion. We would have a chance to talk about all of that later tonight after the party or tomorrow as we drove up to the cabin.

Since Bella was still with the caterer, I took Peter and Charlotte up to their rooms to get settled. When they emerged again, several of my family members had arrived. I made introductions when the party began. We finished dinner and the gift exchange several hours later. Our guests were slowly drifting away, eventually leaving our close family, Peter and Charlotte.

When the women began to talk about shopping and nail salons, the men retreated to the back deck and shared a bottle of whiskey. A few even smoked cigars. I was amazed how well Peter fit in with mine and Bella's families. His ideas and life goals were similar to many of our guests. Tonight cemented the fact that we had become close friends. It also helped me decide that I trusted him enough to take the next step with him and Maria: to share our bodies with them.

My body began to buzz in anticipation of ending this night. The sooner we could get to sleep, the sooner we'd be on the road to the cabin. Everything about tonight had been perfect, so I assumed the rest of the weekend would be the same.

The four of us drifted up the stairs together, but parted at the top landing. Maria and Peter to the right, Bella and I to the left.

I woke up first the next morning and headed to the shower. Our bags were already packed, so after I finished my morning routine, I took them downstairs and sat them by the front door. My intention was to load our stuff in the car, then prepare breakfast for the others. However, when I smelled coffee, I knew someone else was already up. I drifted into the kitchen to find Peter at the kitchen table, where he sat with a cup of coffee while reading the paper. His transfixed gaze changed when he noticed that I stood there, he moved to greet me. I walked toward him and gave him a quick hug. He delivered- what I now knew to be- his typical greeting of a kiss to my cheek, which I, in turn, reciprocated.

Peter shared more of his relationship with Maria. Their past was similar to Bella and mine. They'd known each other since they were children. They dated other people, which caused them to drift apart as friends. A few years later, Maria went back to their hometown for her Grandmother's funeral, she ran into Peter. They met for coffee, and one thing led to another. Eventually, they started dating- long distance at first, until Peter moved here to be with Maria. Shortly after, they moved in together. After a few years of working on his own, he left his job to help Maria run the club. No matter how strong a woman is, there are those who will never take a female seriously; but Peter wasn't that man. He's the one she knows she can trust and never has to worry if he will take advantage. They love to be together at work and home, and it showed. Their love was evident in everything they did for each other.

In a case like ours, where there are two committed partnerships, there's typically a concern that someone may develop unwanted feelings. This weekend certainly gave me pause in that regard. I felt like there was left over trust from our encounter eight years ago. I figured if she hadn't gone stalker and came looking for us by now, she wasn't going to. But Peter, he was the wild card; the unknown. It was the reason I insisted he and I get to know each other better. I wanted to know I could trust him with my wife, because she meant more to me than anything in this world and I would protect her with my life. He passed that test with flying colors; in fact, he showed me he could respect my wife with the amount of respect he showed Maria.

The girls finally made it down stairs for a quick breakfast before we left the house. Everyone seemed anxious to get on the road to the cabin, so we left the breakfast dishes for the maid to clean up. Peter drove, and I sat upfront so we could talk. Maria and Bella were in the back, pouring over catalogs for purchases Maria wanted to make for her new shops. I was impressed with her head for business and her personality as well, she always seemed to have the answers to get her ahead in business and her personal life. The four of us had enough of the same interest that we could engage in meaningful discussion, but not so much that we talked about the same things all the time. Bottom line: Peter and Maria really complimented Bella and I as a couple.

While I've considered myself as hetero, but lately, I was doubting my allegiance. Watching Peter drive, his hand gripping the steering wheel, was a bit of a turn-on. Bella has always been so open with me and we have talked about everything together. So I always assumed that when I mentioned that a guy was good looking it was for her benefit. Maybe I was fooling myself all along. When I snapped out of my daze of self awareness I noticed that Peter smirked at me.

"What?" I asked, defensively, suddenly aware I'd been staring at Peter.

He just chuckled and dropped his hand to my knee. "It's confusing to realize that you might not be who you thought all this time, isn't it?" I just nodded and looked away. It occurred to Peter was the one person I should be talking to about my feelings. He had experience with what I was going through.

"When did you know?" I decided now was as good a time as any to have this discussion, since the girls chattered away in the back, laughing and joking. .

"I was in college and a girl asked me to join her in her room." His face smiled but his expression was wistful, indicating it must have been a good time for him. "When we got there, her boyfriend had already arrived and was laid out- buck-ass naked- on her bed, stoned and stroking his cock. I tried to back out of the room, but the boyfriend said he didn't mind sharing, and then asked if I did." Peter shrugged a little. "Hell, it was college and I was for everything. So, we smoked a joint then began to make out. At first, it was just with her, but then that her boyfriend and I were making out too." He flexed and gripped my thigh- a reflex- as he remembered that far off time and his hands longed to take him back there. I liked the feel of it; his firm strong hand as it pulled and molded into my flesh through my jeans.

"She left the room to grab more dope from her car, leaving me and her boyfriend alone. I realized I didn't miss her presence and he was enough to keep me occupied while she was gone; especially when he dropped to his knees and sucked my cock." His lazy grin turned me on just as much as his hand on my thigh. I knew, without a doubt, I wanted him and needed to be with him in whatever way he'd have me… us. His head snapped to the side and smiled larger when he noticed my grin. "We spent the weekend in her dorm room, fucking every way imaginable. While I've never sought out a man to be involved with since, there had been some encounters over the years. Then, I met Maria and all bets were off. She was the woman for me and I knew, without a doubt, I would spend the rest of my life with her." Peter looked up and his eyes met Maria's in the rearview mirror, exchanging a glance with each other. I couldn't help but look over my shoulder and share the same look with Bella. I understood how Peter felt because no one and nothing would ever be more important to me than her.

I slapped my hands against my thighs and blew all the air from my lungs. "Okay, boys and girls. Rules?"

The girls exchanged a devious look and then diverted their heads back to look at me. I could tell by the bat of Bella's lashes that she was up to something. I didn't know if I should be turned on or scared out of my mind. "Bella? "I implored.

"Well, Maria and I talked, but we couldn't come up with any rules. I mean, after discussing our sex lives, there's nothing they do that we don't, and vice versa. So, we decided to leave the rules up to you two. Maria and I don't have any." I was not surprised by this. Bella and I talked and she told me about her lunch with Maria. They discussed Peter and Maria's past and present love life and it seemed pretty on par with ours. None of us were into pain, heavy bondage, or breath play. I looked to Peter, but he didn't seem surprised by their revelation.

"You knew this?" I looked to Peter as he shrugged.

"I'm leaving this up to you; you're the one that's in uncharted territory here." I sat back in my seat to reflect for a minute. I expected the three of them to have some input. So to fly blind by myself without their input, well I drew a blank, I obviously needed their help. Too many years had passed since Bella and I had been with Maria. I was having a hard time remembering if there were any rules. I could only think of one- and hell, we broke that fucker.

"Well, last time our only rule was no penetration between myself and Maria, but we broke that about half way through, so I don't know."

"Yeah, I don't think we should even bother to put that rule in place this time." Bella offered.

"That is fine with me. Are you okay with that? I mean, for you and Peter that is?"

Bella nodded as Peter craned his neck to see her reaction. "I'm okay with you and Maria and I'm okay with me and Peter. Are you okay with both of those?" I nodded my acceptance, as did Peter and Maria.

"My rules for this weekend are that there are no rules. We do whatever feels good and if someone doesn't want it then they can call a halt to it. Other than that, I have no expectations." Peter looked smug with himself as he spoke, especially as he added one extra thought. "I do have to admit I have thought about how Bella's body would feel on my cock." I heard a slap and realized that Maria had smacked Peter's arm. They both laughed so I could tell she meant no real punishment by it. "What?" Peter asked.

"You are so damn crude! You could have said that in a better way so as not to embarrass our sweet innocent Bella." Maria chastised Peter and soothed Bella all at once with her words.

I turned, and sure enough Bella's face had blushed running all the way down to her chest. She glanced to me and I could tell by the spark in her eyes that she was thinking along the same lines as Peter. I was guessing we would be swapping some partners this weekend, too.

Peter's mumbled apology pulled Bella and I from our moment. She turned to acknowledge him. "It's okay Peter; you didn't mean it to embarrass me. So, since we are all okay with leaving the rules open ended, then we will go with the normal safe words: Red for stop, Yellow for slow down, and Green for go?"

The rest of the ride was spent with the four of us teasing and talking with each other. We were playful with our words and with our bodies. I turned and reached to the back seat, which caused my chest to rub against Peter's shoulder. He paid me back by rubbing his hand up and down my thigh again, closer and closer to the one spot that I needed him to touch. I guess turn about was fair play!

The girls had turned it up a notch in the back seat. They turned toward each other, their breasts touching, with a tongue kissing display that any Girls Gone Wild video would be proud to have. Peter and I both panted obviously we both prayed for a speedy arrival at the cabin.

We stopped about an hour from the cabin so we could eat lunch. We figured it would be better to stop than worry about trying to get something to eat after we arrived. This way, we could get there, unpack, and unwind together. Bella and Maria made lasagna for dinner and could be popped in the oven with ease. Our night was free for us to spend in whatever way we wanted.

Lunch was a rowdy experience; we laughed and enjoyed ourselves like we had been friends for years. I enjoyed the ease and camaraderie with Peter.

The rest of our drive to the cabin was more of the same sexual tension from before. It was useless to say I was about to explode when we finally turned off the highway and onto the gravel driveway. It was certainly a beautiful place; the cabin was surrounded by mountains that were on full display of with their colors. We did live in Washington, so the colors were all shades of green. They blended and effortlessly filled in the land so that it almost felt like we were all alone on this planet, just the four of us. It was perfect, and I already felt relaxed and comfortable.

Bella and Maria went inside to open up the cabin while Peter pulled the bags from the trunk. He noticed me as I stared up at the mountains, and moved behind me to wrapped his arms around me. They rested at my waist and I leaned back into him. I felt like a different person; a newer, freer person, here. I was ready for this adventure and I could tell Peter was as well—or rather: feel he was ready.

Bella and Maria came back out to surround our little cocoon of happiness and stood with us as we searched the mountains for some small treasure to share. Bella pointed out a tall slender tree, yellowish in color, which stood out amongst the dark greens while Peter pointed out the eagle flying over our heads.

Our small Pow-Wow broke up and we took our bags inside to get unpacked. Peter and Maria had fewer things to bring since they kept some necessities at the cabin to make it easy on them. I heard them as they moved around in the kitchen and Peter yelled up the stairs that he had opened some wine for all of us.

The wine made Bella speed along with unpacking; she loved her red. I encouraged her as often as possible because red wine made her a horny little devil. Bella and I slipped downstairs quietly across the thick carpet and stopped short when we saw Maria perched across Peter's lap. Her skirt was pulled up so we could see her delicious ass on display. Peter was sucking on her lips and his eyes lit up when he saw us come into the room. My loose fitting track pants showed just how happy I was with the show.

"Bella, Edward, come here," Peter called. His voice was soft and subtle yet commanding Bella's hand wrapped around mine and waited for me to start the forward. I loved that she allowed me to assess the situation and make a decision for us both. She knew I had her well-being and happiness at the fore front of my mind, so she trusted me to never lead her astray. I nodded back at Peter and pulled Bella closer to me as I made my way into the family room.

Maria began to kiss down Peter's neck. He reached out and I pushed Bella forward so that she would be positioned between Peter and me. Maria moved slowly off Peter's lap, and kissed Bella on her way across the couch, finally settled on my lap. Peter shifted so that he and Bella mirrored my position with Maria, but we were close enough now that Peter and I could lean over and kiss each other if we wanted to, as could Bella and Maria. In essence, we could all touch any part of each other we wanted. It was perfect because while I wanted to spend time with Peter and Maria, I still wanted the familiarity of my love, my home, and my Bella.

Bella reached over and stroked Maria's ass. It would be a lie to say these two beautiful women together wasn't an incredible aphrodisiac. I reached up to brush Maria's shirt off of her shoulder and kissed her tanned skin. She was a beautiful golden color and it begged for my attention.

I glanced over to where Peter had the front of Bella's shirt unbuttoned. Her lacy bra held her breasts captive, but not for long. Peter pulled down on the lacy cups to expose her nipples. The air barely had time to brush across them before he had one in his mouth and the other between his finger and thumb. I watched as she pulled him toward her with her head thrown back, lost in the sensations. I loved to watch her this way. Usually, we were together and I couldn't watch, but this time, I got the best of both worlds. I was feeling what Maria did to me, and could see what Peter was doing to Bella. The whole scenario was a huge turn on.

Maria had easily pulled her shirt down to her waist. I cupped her slightly larger breast and kissed the a nipple behind the black satin fabric of her bra. Her half corset bra was beautiful against her tan skin, but I wanted her out of it to suck her nipples. I remembered how responsive they were and how tight they got when she was aroused; it must have hurt for them to pull up that tight. Her reactions told the exact opposite of my theory, since every single touch or pinch had her mewling like a cat begging for more milk.

I pulled her breast out of the top of her bra and began to lick it while Bella reached behind Maria to undo the clasps of the damned satin contraption. Bella kissed Maria as they leaned towards each other and swayed in harmony to the pleasure that Peter and I extracted from their bodies.

Both ladies were bare from the waist up, but it wasn't enough. We needed them completely naked; to see, touch and taste all of their bodies. Peter must have wanted the exact same thing because he pushed Bella up off of his lap to help her get her shorts unbuttoned. Maria took that as her cue to do the same. The four of us worked together to remove all remaining clothing from our bodies in a rush of limbs and touches

As Bella and Maria worked on their shoes and bottoms, Peter and I were left free to touch each other. I reached out and grabbed his cock. It felt so smooth in my hands and I couldn't wait to have it in my mouth.

Bella had described the feel of my cock as it pressed against her tongue, sliding in and out of her mouth. I could almost imagine it and feel it for myself. A sudden moment of panic set in when I realized I didn't know exactly how to suck a cock. I knew what felt good to me, I didn't know what felt good to anyone else. How would I know what worked and what didn't?

Before I could worry about it any further, Maria sank down on me and pressed her mouth to mine. I could feel Bella's hand on Maria's breast and Peter's hand as it rubbed against where Maria and I joined. I assumed his purpose was to rub her clit, but fuck, his warm skin felt so nice against the soft spot just above my cock. I pulled his face to mine as the girls pumped themselves up and down on our bodies. I kissed him allowing my tongue to slip inside his mouth.

He tasted like a man; sweet with a hint of the gum he chewed while driving us here, but yet spicy and warm. Almost like the mix of a good whiskey, all three flavors combined to make up Peter. His beard scratched my jaw, but not to the point where it hurt. It was just enough to let me know I wasn't kissing either of the ladies and was tongue fucking a man. A sexy man I wanted more of.

I gripped Maria's hips and pounded up into her. She tugged at Bella's French braid and pulled her down to my lap where Peter followed. This gave Maria better access to Bella's breasts and Peter better access to my mouth.

Peter and I fought for dominance in each other's mouth as I fucked Maria hard. Each thrust into her pushed me closer and closer to Peter with Bella trapped in between all of us. I loved to have her close to me; I reached down and touched her cheek wanting to convey my feelings. The feel of her skin grounded me and gave me the freedom to fall over the edge.

Maria's body continued to pulse around me after I filled her. I continued to slowly push as long as I could to ensure I made her feel as good as she made me feel.

Bella begged Peter, "Harder, oh God, yes! Harder just like that!" I knew my girl was close, so I reached down and pinched her clit. It was almost hard to hold onto because it was wet and swollen, while I rubbed my fingers back and forth on either side of it. Her head drifted back and looked up at me, her mouth open in a silent 'o' shape. I knew this one would be a good one.

The glistening wetness continued to trickle from her body as Peter exploded inside her.

We collapsed against each other on the couch and laughed our happiness flowed free from each of us. It was an indescribable feeling and one I looked forward to repeating again very soon, but first I wanted a shower and a nap with my wife.

I pulled her upstairs to our room. We rushed through a hot shower, relaxing our bodies even further to allow sleep to find us that much quicker. I snuggled behind Bella and kissed her neck. "I love you," drifted from my mouth in that last seconds before sleep took me away. I was a very happy man.

MAT- Chapter 3

Bella Cullen

Over the next few weeks, the three of us work hard to provide the suits with their updates. I have to say that I'm proud of our team. We blow their socks off each and every time I present them with the new plans, designs and ideas we've come up with. We really should consider doing this with each other more often.

As far as personally, well Peter and Edward have gotten together several times. They meet up at a pub or somewhere to get to know each other. I know it's all platonic because he is never gone long enough for it to be anything other than that. Not that I'd stop him if he wanted to. I know that most people don't have this kind of trust, but I trust Edward and if he wanted to be with Peter alone then I would allow it. Now, I'd want to know every single detail later but just so that the pictures can go in my spank bank, not because I don't trust him.

Edward talked about all the things they had in common and how well they got along. I asked if he was attracted to Peter and he agreed that he most definitely was. Maria had sent me some emails with pictures attached. So I knew how good looking Peter was, it was a no brainer that Edward would be attracted to him, at least I hoped he would.

We had begun to talk about what Edward would be interested in with Peter and how far he wanted to go for his first time with a man. Edward knew for sure that oral sex, fingering and even rimming was fine, but he wasn't sure if he would like full on sex with a man. Actually, he wasn't sure he'd like to be the bottom, he knew he would like to be a topper, it was the bottom he was concerned with.

I expressed these ideas with Maria and she agreed to talk with Peter about it. He after all had more experience with this than us two girls would. So I was encouraged when Peter called Edward again and asked him to meet him to watch the game at the sports bar down the street from Edward's office. When he came home he had more information but still wasn't without a doubt sure about it yet.

I let the subject go, I didn't want to push Edward too hard and have him back down. I decided to let him lead us in this thing. Several nights later we laid in bed and watched a movie together. The lead character had taken some drugs for the first time, he loved that he could live a free lifestyle without the guilt of his conscience while on the drugs. Edward spoke up immediately, "I think that's what I need." His head nodded towards the screen.

"What, drugs?" I asked confused.

"Well not drugs per say, but something that will help me loosen up and stop worrying about what my conscience says. I just have this pre-programmed stereotype that you hear about men who have sex with other men, and I need to let that go. Move past it and allow my body to experience what I think will be a wonderful time. I need something." My mind began to race with the possibilities. I decided to ask Angela the next day at work. She was a little freer during her college days and tried way more shit than Edward and I ever dreamed of trying. I let it rest for now until I had my answer for him.

I was up and ready extremely early the next day. I couldn't wait. I texted Angela and told her to meet me for coffee at this secluded place we'd been to before. I mean it was a little hard to talk about drugs and bisexual sex in the middle of McDonald's for crying out loud.

"This better be fucking good, Ben was horny this morning," she cried as she dropped her large bag into the seat beside her and flopped into hers.

"Shut up, I'll give you time to meet him for lunch and let you blow him. I need answers." I flicked my hair back off of my shoulder and out of my way so I could begin to eat.

"Wow, okay…shoot." Angela was all ears now.

"Okay, I told you about that time we had the ménage a trios for my birthday?" Angela was nodding already with a wicked grin across her face. "Okay, stop looking at me that way or I will stop right now and tell you nothing." I huffed at her.

"Like what?" She asked innocently.

"Like I'm a piece of meat," her face still held some confusion so I continued, "that you eat."

"Look, I'm just saying, I'd do ya and I know Ben would as well, so if you are asking me to go there then yeah…" She shrugged and let the sentence trail off.

"First of all, we can't do that because we work together and secondly, you just want a piece of Edward, so no. Now, shut up." She mimicked someone locking their mouths and throwing the key away so I continued. "The girl that we had the ménage a trois with was Maria." I let that hang out there until Angela drew her own conclusions.

"Wait… Charlotte Johnson, Maria?" I nodded and bit into my croissant sandwich. "Holy fuck, no wonder you are considering doing it again. Wow, okay, continue then." She waved her hands.

"Well as you know Maria," I emphasized her name as I called her outside of work to prove that this was a totally separate issue than our work relationship, "is now married and it will be a foursome, not three. So Edward struggled with the whole boy/boy thing. Now he thinks he is up for it but thinks he would have a better time if he was on a little something that would free his mind, so to speak. So I come to you because you know of such things."

"Well I can tell you this, the best sex of my life was while I was on Ecstasy. I mean like mind blowing good, coming like so many times I couldn't count them good." I waved my hands to stop her because, although the little place was almost empty, it was not completely empty and she was getting louder with each word she spoke to me. I didn't want the two dudes that sat three tables away from us to get the wrong idea.

"Okay, fine, how safe is it? I can't give Edward some shit that will fuck him up for days on end or worse, hurt him for the rest of his life."

"Oh, no it's totally safe, I've taken it several times in my life. It just makes you all tingly and loose. You don't think as much and we both know that for Edward that would be a huge plus. That man is all about over thinking shit." She bit into her sandwich, and I nodded my agreement. He could get lost in his head sometimes.

"So, you think that X will be the best for him? What is the recovery time?" I asked.

"Dude, that's the best part, like six, eight minutes tops. You can go at it all night long!" Angela's voice got louder as she talked, I could tell she really enjoyed sex, as could the rest of the restaurant, including the suits two tables over. They all turned to look at the two of us. I just blushed. Angela apparently turned into a Frat boy and didn't care who heard about her sexcapades.

"Angela," I whisper-yelled. "Not that kind of recovery, how long until he is back to normal after taking it?" I asked, more clearly stating what I wanted since she apparently needed it spelled out.

"Oh, uhm, about three or four hours, I guess. I usually slept it off and had no idea how long, it was just gone when I woke up," Angela replied.

"So, do you know where I might be able to get some?" I leaned in and whispered this to her. I don't know why but it felt like I should.

"Fuck yeah, Ben's brother has that shit all the time. Let me call him and I'll bring it in tomorrow." Angela looked totally relaxed about this, and I hoped that she was right about it all.

I finished out the rest of my day and headed home. Edward called me to tell me that he would be late, a sudden development came up. I stopped and grabbed some take out and threw myself in bed. After a little time to eat and flip through the massive amounts of TV channels we had, I decided to research what Angela told me earlier. I typed Ecstasy into the google bar and came up with a million or so hits. I searched through them and realized that Angela had told me about the same thing that others on the internet were saying. I texted Edward to let him know.

Found something for you and our trip…

His response came back fairly quickly.

Oh yeah?

Yep talked w/Ang, she had a good idea :)

Oh no, now I'm afraid :(

Stop that, I've researched it, talk to me when you get home, k? How much longer?

Not long, you got food?

Yep, your fav..Thai, in bed eating mine now!

God, I love you, be there in 20!

Love you back!

Edward walked in the door and came straight to bed with me. He ate his half of dinner and then checked his email. We both had an email from Maria and Peter. It just told us how excited that they were for the weekend and what to pack. See they gave us two options, we could go with the tourist route and spend all day out traveling around to see things, or we could choose to stay in the cabin all weekend and never see a damn thing. We decided to pack for the tourist route and pray like hell that we end up with the never going out route. I decided that it was time to talk with Edward about how he felt about Peter.

"Hey, so after all this time you've been spending with Peter, what do you think?" I asked.

"Well, he's a great guy; I think I like him." Edward answered before he shoveled in some more Pad Thai.

"Like him like him, or like him like him?" I couldn't help but push a little more.

"Like him enough to do him?" He asked as I began to nod my head. "Yeah, I do." He looked back at the noodles that filled his container, like he was embarrassed about this new turn of events. I decided to squelch that right the fuck now.

"Hey, is it wrong that I find Maria attractive?" I asked as he nodded his head negatively. "Okay, so then how is it wrong for you to find Peter attractive? It's no different, the stereotypes are wrong Edward, do you hear me? They're wrong, you can be attracted to both men and women and not be wrong, okay?" He nodded at me but still seemed hesitant to look at me. "Did you talk with Peter about this?"

Edward set aside his noodles and looked directly at me. "Yeah, we did. He told me that he came out years ago to his family and friends. He was ridiculed and beat up. Now, that was while he was still in college so that may make a difference, but it just scares me Bella. I don't want to ruin what I have with you and my family for a passing thing. I mean it's just a fantasy right?"

"Edward, you are making way too much out of this, you are not choosing to live a gay lifestyle, we are choosing to have a fun weekend with two of our friends. Don't over think this, just go with it, you and Peter have talked about what you want to try and if it doesn't work then Peter won't be pissed, he'll understand. He knows that this is all new to you and won't hold it against you if you don't want to. Just keep an open mind and plan to just have fun, okay?" I smoothed the wild hair that sticks up all over his head. I can tell by that one sign alone that Edward has worried about this for probably most of the day.

"I know you're right, Peter's said the same thing: to let the stereotype go and just enjoy myself, that's why I think I might need a little help to fully enjoy this weekend." He looks sheepish again, like he's asked for something forbidden.

"Oooo, I got something for you. I spoke with Angela, because she'd been into a lot more things than you or I either have ever tried. Well… she suggested Ecstasy. She said it takes the edge off, makes you feel free and uninhibited. She also said that it won't last a long time so that will be a good thing, you won't be flying high for hours on end." He pulled me close and looked deep into my eyes as I spoke to him.

"You think that is a good idea?"

"Yeah, I do, I want you to enjoy your fantasy and if that means you need a little help, then its fine with me." I explained everything that Angela and the internet told me. I tried to look directly in his eyes to ease his fears and make him understand that I would be right beside him all the way.

"Okay, let's try it. I want to try it here at our house alone first and if it's okay, then we will bring some with us, okay?" I thought that was a great idea.

"Sure thing, I asked Angela to get some from Ben's brother so I'll tell her to bring us about five pills, one to try here and then several for the weekend." His face relaxed and he snuggled down into the covers with me.

We lay together talking about the weekend and what all we wanted to try, he showed me several videos that involved two couples so I had plenty of ideas as well. After Edward fell asleep, I cleaned up our mess from the take out and texted Angela.

E is in, can you bring me 5?

Her response was slow in arriving, but I knew that around this time of night Angela was always busy, she told me about her business on a daily basis, so I couldn't help but know. Deep down I was encouraged by her bold attitude and her ability to say and do what she wanted without fear of who else was going to have something to say about it. I wanted to be more like Angela. Eventually she responded with a simple…

Sure, 5 it is!

I turned to see Edward sound asleep and fired up my laptop. I needed a second opinion from Maria and Peter. I texted Maria to let her know that I needed to talk with her and logged onto google chat to wait for her, Maria popped on shortly after I did. I immediately asked if Peter was with her. She replied that he was close by so to ask whatever I wanted and she would relay his answer.

Okay, so E is freaking out by the fact that he might be attracted to Peter, did Peter struggle with that too?

I sat and waited for her answer. I really should have made a date so to speak with Peter, so we could get to know each other as well. I mean we really were going to be pretty intimate with each other as well. I would suggest that before we logged off of chat.

P says yeah, he did. This was years ago tho, so the entire lifestyle was not as open then as it is now. He said that this will pass after we get there this weekend. E will realize that all four of us are comfortable with the idea and settle down. He just needs to let the confines of normal expectations go and just enjoy it.

I immediately began to type out my response.

I told him that exact thing as well. We are going to try some X at home this weekend to see if that helps him relax enough. Altho I don't know how we will know since we don't have any way to really test out the theory. Just want to make sure that the X has no long lasting effects on E at all.

I check my email quickly as I wait for Maria to respond. I switch back when I hear the tell tale ding of a new chat message.

Peter said he would come over and help out, lol. We've both tried X several times and had no issues with it, I think E will like it. Like the freedom of it all. Peter said he did anyway. The first time he bottomed he was on X. Definitely helps :)

See this was the kind of info I needed for Edward.

Thanks for the tip. I was thinking that it might be a good idea for us to get together anyway since I haven't met Peter in person yet. I think I need to feel comfortable with him too, don't you?

Maria started typing right away, at least google chat said she did.

I was thinking the exact thing. How about we go out for drinks and then back to your house so Edward is comfortable. He can try the X and Peter will try a few things on E, no penetration that night tho, just a little light touching and maybe some oral to see how he responds. Don't tell E any of this, let's just meet up accidentally for drinks then we will slip back to your place. That way he won't be too worried about it nor will he be hesitant at all. Sound good?

I almost went out of my mind to see what Maria suggested because of the length of time it took her to type it out. I agreed with her plan wholeheartedly and let her know.

Sounds good to me, after we accidentally meet, I will suggest that E try his X and see where things go from there. Thanks for the tips, see you Friday night then?

Perfect, let's say drinks at 8 at Geo?

We chatted a few more minutes but then I logged off and settled down to sleep. Edward's face looked so relaxed and sensual. His full lips and pouty smile as he dreamed was starting to turn me on. I wanted to wake him up and give him a good memory for his dreams, but then I remembered that we were to meet Peter and Maria this Friday, in four days, so I wanted him really horny for that. I just had to make sure that nothing happened this week until then.

The week went by as quickly as possible. Angela brought me the Ecstasy, and I stashed it in my wallet. I left it there on purpose; I wanted to have it ready when we went out Friday.

Edward actually helped my goal this week as well. He had to work late three nights in a row so that made sure that nothing happened at all in the bedroom. By the time he got home he was exhausted, and I pretended that I was as well. So we both fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Friday morning I made Edward promise that he would be home on time; I pouted and pretended that I was upset that we didn't get to see each other this week. He fell for it hook, line and sinker. He agreed to be home and we could have a night out on the town together. He also said we should talk about when and how to try the Ecstasy. I relayed to him that we would discuss it tonight and probably try it tomorrow night. We each left for work and planned our days.

I make it home first and rush through a shower. I choose a sexy new bra and panty set, under my sexy wrap dress that Edward loved. It allowed him a great view of my cleavage without allowing the whole place the same view. I curled my hair, it brushed around my shoulders, just like Edward liked it. I took off all of my jewelry except my wedding ring and a long necklace that brushed against the exposed skin of my breasts. A pair of strappy heels that wrapped around my calves had completed the outfit. I almost laughed. It was almost an exact copy of the outfit that I wore the first time we met up with Maria. I knew that Edward would not miss the similarities. I hoped that it would turn him on all the more.

I didn't have to wait long to find out how much it turned Edward on. He begged me to stay home, just not go out at all. As hard as it was I convinced him to just go and we would enjoy each other later tonight, maybe even use his X tonight instead. His eyes lit up and he took off for the shower.

We walked into Geo at a few minutes before eight. Maria and Peter sat at the bar drinking, right in front of the main entrance. There was no way we would get in or out without seeing them. I held back just so that Edward would be the one to spot them. He certainly did. He walked us both over to them and sat right down beside them. I could see the difference in Edward when he was around Peter and Maria. He was a bit more flirty and fun. He laughed a little easier and joked far more. He was him, just a freer version of him. I loved to see him this way.

I stood behind him and hung on his shoulder. Maria mimicked my pose so that left the guys face to face with us women standing behind then slightly. I touched him and kissed his neck, and I flirted slightly. I did anything that it took to work him up into a frenzy. He was definitely turned on and he was such a big flirt with Peter, they both were. Their light casual touches seemed innocent, but I knew that they were anything but that. It was a way for the two of them to test the waters with each other. Up until this time neither of them had touched at all. Now it seemed that Edward was in for it. Peter definitely was as well.

When the waitress called us for our table, Edward changed our seating to four and we all crammed around a small table to eat together. We all fed each other the wonderful food and made sure to up the flirting quotient. The atmosphere was absolutely charged by the time we left.

I suggested to Edward that we all head back to our place for a little while. He readily agreed. I went one step further and suggested that now might be a good time to pop the X as it takes about thirty minutes to work. His eyes lit up and he reached his hand out to me right away. I handed him half of the small green pill. He popped it and sat back in the cab as we made our way home.

Edward held the door for us as we entered our house. I suggested another round of drinks and Peter helped me make them. His hands caressed mine skin as we made drinks, and I watched Edward respond to each one. His eyes relaxed and his smile became larger. He began to loosen his shirt after he removed his jacket. I whispered to Peter as we mixed the last drink. "Should we allow him to drink?"

Peter shook his head and held up a drink that looked a little different than the other three. "Nope, he will be drinking just juice, but trust me he won't realize it at all. He will be fine though; I've done it plenty of times and never had a problem." We both glanced over at Edward, Maria was standing behind him. She worked her hands through his hair as he leaned toward her touch. "Looks like we better get over there." Peter motioned towards the couch were Edward sat. He pulled Maria around to the front of his body. He began to run his hands up and down her hips. Peter grabbed my hand and led over to join in on the fun.

Maria moved to the side of the couch not occupied by Edward. She laid down and spread her legs for all of us to see her body. She pulled me down on the couch over her. My face was pointed towards Edward's and level with Maria's pretty pussy. Edward pulled my dress away from my breasts and bared the sexy lace that covered them. Peter came over to free the dress from my body. Maria took the opportunity to free hers as well. Edward just sat and watched the two of us undress for him. Peter sat off to the side now, I think he was still worried about what Edward would think about his touch at this early stage in the game.

I took Edward's hand and pushed it towards Maria's pussy so he could finger her while I touched him. As soon as his flesh touched her warm, wet skin he moaned as well. My hand reached out to rub him over his pants. He was hard and ready. I nodded to Peter and he slipped from his chair across the room and knelt before Edward. Maria licked and sucked my flesh so I leaned down and sucked hers so that Edward could see as well. I stopped pumping his erection as I got lost in Maria. Peter took over and moved my hand up and down Edward's length. Edward rand his hand over Peter's head and tangled his hand in his hair. His other hand continued to pump in and out of Maria, while Maria and I continued to please each other as well. I lifted off of Maria's skin and suggested to Edward. "Let him touch you, baby, let me see him." I licked Maria's juices off of my lips and ran my tongue around my teeth.

Edward's eyes rolled back in his head as he panted. "Fuck yeah, suck my cock." Edward replied.

I nodded at Peter and he began to lower Edward's zipper. Somehow or another his belt and button were already undone. Perhaps Maria did this while Peter and I made drinks.

Edward's cock sprung out and Peter's eyes lit up. I could tell that he wanted to just swallow that whole thing, I know that is what my first thought always was when I saw it. Peter ducked his head down and swirled his tongue around Edward's swollen head. Edward moaned and halted his movements on Maria. I took his hand and pushed it further into her pink skin and he turned to look at me. My lips met his and he moaned, once again, at the taste of Maria on my lips.

When I released Edward's mouth I noticed that Peter now freely bobbed up and down on Edward's large cock. I almost creamed all over Maria's face at the sight of my beautiful husband's cock down another man's throat.

Maria must have realized what I saw because she shoved two of her fingers deep inside of me and worked them just the right way to make me come. I panted as she worked me over and whispered to Edward, to push along his orgasm as well. "Look at that beautiful man sucking your cock, fuck that looks so fucking good." Edward raised his eyes and watched Peter. "You like that, baby?" Edward simply nodded.

While Maria sucked my clit hard, Peter pulled Edward's pants all the way down and off of his legs. Without a single mis-bob of his head, Peter managed to get Edward's shoes off and spread his legs wider. Peter took his thumb and slid it through Maria's pussy to gather up some of her moisture and the shoved it back down to Edward's ass. I saw Peter slowly rim his thumb around Edward's tight hole. I expected to see Edward tighten up and stiffen. It didn't happen at all, in fact, Edward relaxed more so. He spread his legs and lifted his feet slightly to give Peter more room. The slurping noises became louder and louder as Peter allowed more saliva to pool in his mouth as he still sucked Edward's cock. His face was buried in Edward's pubic hair, he had taken him all the way in. I was jealous, I wanted to suck Edward that deep. I wasn't able to yet, I still had to add a hand at the base to be able to work him all at the same time.

Peter glanced up at me from the corner of his eyes, at the same time that Edward dropped his hand down onto Peter's head to guide his speed and rhythm. I pushed my pussy down onto Maria's face and just simply fucked myself on her. I couldn't handle the extreme pleasure that I felt as I watched my husband and Peter together. I wanted to see Edward come all over Peter.

My fingers once again swept through Maria's body and then made their way to Edward's lips as I came all over her face. I shoved my fingers into Edward's mouth and watched him suck the moisture from them. Peter increased his pressure on Edward's ass as he hollowed his cheeks. Edward's hips bucked up and into Peter's mouth, but on his downward push it also pushed Peter's thumb further into Edward's ass. I came again just from watching it happen.

Edward's moans became louder and louder as he bucks into and out of Peter's mouth harder and faster. I reach down and pull Edward's cock out of Peter's mouth when I see the tell tale fluttering of his eyes. Peter opens his mouth and allows Edward to come right on his lips and it drips down onto my hand.

I rush off of Maria and straddle Edward to kiss him and make sure that he was doing well after what we had done. He seemed fine, in fact he never really goes soft so he pushes up into my body. Peter takes advantage of Maria and begins to pound into her as well. Maria and Peter are the only two that have not had their chance to come yet, so I watch with rapture as they race towards their own release as well.

It doesn't take either long since they were worked up by already. Edward also watches as Peter fucks Maria and begins to lick my skin while he slowly slips in and out of me. I can't help but think that he wants to be licking Peter instead, inside I silently bounce around in happiness that Edward might actually be ready to let go and enjoy our weekend. I use my one last weapon against him. "Did that feel good for Peter to suck your cock?" His grip on my hips tightens and his speed increases. "I loved to watch you come all over us both, it was so fucking sexy." Another increase. "I can't wait to see him slip into your sexy ass while he fucks you so good, I want to see your legs quiver as he brings you to the edge of your orgasm. I want to see whose name you cry out when he finally let's you fall over the edge." The final push and Edward roar's in release as he once again comes. Peter and Maria both climax just as Edward stops quivering below me.

We all managed to make it to the bedrooms and flop in exhaustion. When I wake up the next morning, I realize that Peter and Maria are now gone.

I once again, find a note beneath a magnet on my refrigerator.

B&E,

Last night was great and we can't wait to see you in two weeks. We'll be here a little early to help with dinner. Saturday, we can talk about rules as we drive up. If you need us then call!

P&M

I look forward to Edward's birthday now more so than ever.